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MSD's wedding and reward for me today.

ETexasMom's picture

MSD's wedding was last night. It was chaos! MSD did try to do a classy wedding which I was going to help her with until she started acting like a brat. If she hadn't cropped me out of pictures at the shower I might have still gotten up and helped but you know what??? Not my circus not my monkey!

Wedding was nice but she planned it on a Friday evening almost 2 hours away from where she grew up. Alot of people didn't show. Chapel wasn't even half full. Dress was beautiful but you could tell she couldn't breath. The "shrine" to BM (passed away from OD over 15 years ago) ended up being a picture from Bm's first wedding (not to wedding to DH) not sure if MSD realized that but he said he knows Ex-mil would have known this.

My children and I were not to sit with family which I was fine with. I did not want to sit with hubby's ex inlaws anyway. My daughter who came and little sister who was invited sat in the middle. When it was announced family was staying for pictures we left with the rest of the guest. There was no awkwardness of me being left out instead we mingled with guest and picked out a table far from the bride and groom.

At the reception DH opted to sit with us instead of a table with ex inlaws and grooms family. Reception was awkward and it was hard not to get up and help! No one knew what they were doing. There was only toasting glasses for the bridal party and MSD made a show of passing out small champagne glasses to the parents (excluding me of course) and the bridesmaids and groomsmen but there was nothing for the guest. Then they did the couple cutting of the cake and I guess didn't realize someone was supposed to cut for the rest of the guest. I almost got up to do it during the dancing. People were mingling around waiting for it to be cut. The cake was never cut for guest till after the reception was over and the bride and groom had left. At that time a few of the guest were still left and started cutting themselves a piece. People finally cut pieces to take home because they were trying to clean up the venue while people were trying to finally get cake.

On the bright side since I was completely ignored nothing bad happened. I had my little sister and daughter to keep me company. I got to dance with DH. I knew the photographer so DH and I got some pictures together. And best of all DH took me to the jewelry store and let me pick out pearls today for our anniversary next week. I'll put being ignored by the SD if I get jewelry afterwards!!!!

notsobad's picture

It sounds like you made the best of a bad situation. I'm happy you got through the day with grace and no conflicts.

Love that you got pearls!

Gracie Allen used to joke that George Burns cheated on her once. He felt so guilty that he bought her a large silver centre piece. She said I wish George would have another affair, I'd like a new centre piece.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Yes, you are the epitome of grace and calm and collectedness. She is really missing out by behaving that way. I think you would be an excellent ally to have

ldvilen's picture

BAA-A-A-AH! Smile "The cake was never cut for guest till after the reception was over and the bride and groom had left." I always heard the only thing a bride had to have at her wedding was champagne and cake. Sounds like they kind'a messed up on both. Also sounds like you really could have made her day way more smooth and perfect, but her loss. I'm glad you kept out of it, even though you could have assisted. Not only would she not have appreciated it, but it would have given her an excuse to blame you for something.

Sigh! Wish I would have found this blog before my SD's wedding. Yes, I was naiive enough to think that I'd be respected at the wedding and I'd be treated like my husband's wife and get to sit by him and all. I just assumed all of this. I also thought there would be no-o problem in having husband and I in some pictures with bride and groom. We had been married 14 years, after all. What a fiasco. I should have just brought my own date, literally, sister, cousin, whomever, had a shot or two just before the wedding, hung out with my date (like you did with your little sister and daughter), and just relaxed and enjoyed the show while SKs and BM/ex- went after my husband. Alas. Hindsight is 20-20.

ETexasMom's picture

Yep bringing my "dates" was the best idea ever! I didn't feel lonely or cast to the side. I had a group to sit with and when DH got done with the "family" pictures I was already seated in the reception hall comfortable and entertained. He made a beeline right too us it was great. I should bring a "date" with me to everything step related!

notasm3's picture

For the sake of the baby to be and GF I sincerely hope that SS30 does NOT marry his pregnant GF. But if some travesty of marriage is scheduled I don't think I could attend.

Because I would want to stand up and scream "NO NO NO" when the part about "if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

Poor little GF was incredibly stupid to let herself get knocked up by an alcoholic domestic violence offender. But that is not my problem. She has parents - let them rescue her.

stepinafrica's picture

Staying out of the 'family' pictures was a smart idea. It sounds like you did ok. Too bad these girls don't realize how much they miss out on by being stupid. Oh well.

I love pearls!

ChiefGrownup's picture

Yay for pearls! Some seriously funny aspects to this story. No glasses or cake for guests? hahahaha! you handled it perfectly. and now, once again, yay pearls!

SecondGeneration's picture

Well done you for handling it so well and well done to your hubby for playing the father of the bride when needed and then being with you Smile Nicely handled

Andie91801's picture

I love pearls Smile I'm sure she has so many beautiful memories of her wedding to remember for years...LOL

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Well done ETexasMom! I can imagine it was hard to sit by and do nothing but it sure gets easier with time. They don't want us included for the good parts - so stay away from the chores too LOL.

Take care!

still learning's picture

Well done OP! You earned those pearls. I'm going to keep your story in mind if I get dragged to ss30's wedding.