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Most thoughtless "visit" and gifts, ever. Laugh or cry?!

2Tired4Drama's picture

Boy, I am not sure whether to laugh or cry over the THOUGHTFUL gifts I received this Christmas from SO and SD!

Since SD worked Christmas day, we celebrated a day later just for her. From her I got a generic Mastercard gift card and a man's sweater. Yes, that's right, a MAN'S sweater! I also got a watch that I believe she fully intended to give to her roommate - she had even told us she was buying it for her roomate a few weeks ago. Don't know if the roomate didn't want it or SD decided not to give it to her but I wound up with it.

Of course, her father got numerous well-thought out gifts.

Speaking of her father, he is in the dog house big time. We opened our gifts in the morning, before SD came over. I got the worst, and I mean the worst, thing ever. A gift card and .... a sex toy. Yep, you read that right.

The thing that pisses me off most is that just a couple of weeks ago when we were talking about gift-giving in general, I jokingly said something about sex toys being the WORST GIFT ever to give women. Maybe his brains got scrambled or something and thought that was a "hint." Or else this is passive aggressive behavior on his part. When he saw the look of shock on my face, he pointed out that it was expensive and top of the line!

Next year, I'm planning an out of town trip for Christmas and there will be no more gift exchanges with SD and probably not SO either. I am not putting any effort into it anymore.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Oh, and the part I forgot to add was that SD changed the times she was coming over for the meal THREE times in less than 24 hours - up to and including two hours before her arrival. I had to reschedule the meal prep significantly each time to accomodate her. She wound up staying over a whopping three hours, including eating a meal and opening gifts.

Harleygurl's picture

Well, as for that meal, pick your time, cook, and serve. If she isn't there at meal time or gets cold food so be it. My mom has gone through this for years with my step-sisters. She finally got to the point where she decides when to serve dinner and if they are there, great. If not, she points them to the microwave. If they are rude enough to not stick to a designated time then she's not accomodating.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Wish it were that easy - but since it was just the three of us for the meal there is no way SO would sit down and eat without his DD there. But I would certainly do what your mom does if there were others involved - I would NOT make others wait to eat to accommodate SD. Now I just have to adopt that same attitude for myself; and I will - next year, no home-cooked meal ... period.

thinkthrice's picture

I'm with Skeeter. Regift the sex toy to H.
The man's sweater was definitely a "crack" at you, obviously.

As far as the thoughtless gifts, last year for Xmas, Guilty Daddy got me THE UGLIEST wind chime ever. He knows I like wind chimes, mostly made of natural materials and pretty. He got me a metal windchime of a COVERED WAGON as in the 1800s. Seriously? I was going to exchange it but that would have been too obvious and an emotional upheaval for his sociopathic uber thin skin. It sits out all year long on my make shift clothes line. My good windchimes I bring in during Autumn.

He used to get me Victoria's Secret crap--more of a gift to HIM. He's stopped that since I've gained weight. BWA HA HA (I don't like the menopausal weight gain but in some instances it's a BLESSING) He didn't bother to wrap this years gifts. I went to JC Penney's and picked out a few pajama sets. DONE! Used "his" money (half of his net pay goes to CS so I pay ALL the household bills)

When the three PASlings were coming to our house, they gave such lame-o gifts it was unreal! Meanwhile we'd spend (err, I mean I'd spend) THOUSANDS on trendy gifts for them, which the BM had them publically renounce as lacking in some way.

2Tired4Drama's picture

I agree - Skeeter is on to something! But how about this - I regift the sex toy to SD and regift the man's sweater to SO. That should work well I think!

2Tired4Drama's picture

And I also know how difficult it is to be as thoughtless as them and not use what they have given. I had a gaudy flip-flop windchime on my clothes line, too! Smile

Frustratedlady's picture

I would totally expect the bad choices in gifts from Skids, but what your DH got you....shaking my head. I agree with the other posters, re-gift everything. But if it were me, I'd sure keep DH's gift! And would make it a point to leave it laying around too! He might have just shot himself in his own foot }:)

thinkthrice's picture

I like the way you think!!! LOL! Of course the "leave it lying around" etc. part was lost on me because I'm post menopausal, not on hormones and have lost pretty much 99.9% of my sex drive--that and the fact that I'm living with a sociopathic alcoholic doesn't help either.

2Tired4Drama's picture

I think this is SO's lazy way out of doing what HE should do! So yes, maybe I'll leave it lying around in its see-through deluxe box so visitors can see how thoughtful this "tired" man is! Smile

Frustratedlady's picture

"I think this is SO's lazy way out of doing what HE should do!" Maybe he did buy you the perfect gift Biggrin

Frustratedlady's picture

I am in the same boat as you, post menopausal, no hormones and was with an alcoholic up until 2 months ago. So I completely understand where you are coming from. But I didn't say she had to use it, just make him think she is and that she really really loves the gift Wink

AVR1962's picture

Oh boy, a sex toy! My goodness!! I too would not be happy with that gift either. So how did you react and what have you decided to do with this treasured item?

Ignore the presents from SD, at least she tried even if it was half SSs have not given me a present in many years.

I do think I would turn this sex toy into something fun, maybe not in the bedroom but I would definitely turn it in to something.