ME. I am the problem.
Truly. I volunteer to do things regarding the steps and then get angry at MYSELF because I think I am trying to buy their friendship approval but it is likely not going to happen.
case in point. As this list knows SD is getting married and it is going to just be she and her fiancé.
They then decide to use my husband's house that nobody uses anymore to spend a few days on the two ends of their trip. The house is only a few hours from the house I live in with me and their father. fine. However I embarrassed to say I volunteered to my husband only how it would be if we went there and got decorations, champagne, chocolate covered strawberries etc and I would make a wedding cake. I would be doing this totally for my husband who recently went thru hell with my own now estranged family.
However I am dialing it back to just ! Making the wedding cake which honestly I am doing because I enjoy the challenge of it.
And yes I am setting myself up to be the victim. Likely they won't change how they view me and then I will disengage again.