Married 6 weeks & I just can't with SD's games
He and I got married 6 weeks ago, we dated for almost 5 years, except the weeks when I would leave him from too much drama from his two daughters, now 20 and 24. Both of them flat out ignored me up until he and I had a talk with the younger SD. However, the oldest SD is untouchable...meaning he has NEVER told her that she should apologize to me, he simply won't back me on this issue...oldest SD admitted (to him) to ignoring me on purpose (he just told me this yesterday) when she told him almost 2 years ago when he was begging me to get back with him. Now that he and I bought a home, still unpacking, working and getting settled in...the oldest SD (look up Emotional Incest...these two are so bonded) will ignore me when she passes by me in the house during the day (I work quite a bit from home). She comes out of her room when he comes home from work, she's wearing inappropriate, revealing clothing, and full face of make-up and all, does nothing all day. She's all chatty when he's there, otherwise she barely says 'hi' when I say 'hello', she comes out of her room when I leave the house to go to my office or run errands. She does not lift a finger around the house and I stopped cooking, cleaning up, moving her laundry she leaves and taking out the trash. When her boyfriend visits from out of state, he leaves messes in the kitchen and around the house too. My husband will NOT hold her accountable for cleaning up after herself and her bf. My husband and I talked in detail with a therapist about this prior to getting married but nothing has been said to her. When I walk into the kitchen or another room when they are talking, they immediately stop talking so I politely excuse myself to give them privacy and he gets mad at me. He expects me to be her therapist and check in on her, take her to yoga and do things for her. Not ONCE in the past 5 years has she asked me about how I"m feeling, how my son (who is deployed again) is doing, or how my bandaged knee or foot or shoulder are doing after the surgeries I've had. Not once said 'happy birthday' but he expects me to go all out for his kids birthdays, and I have and won't do it anymore. I read about this disengagement so I need to do this. I'm looking for a therapist in my new city. I feel so alone and he talks to her and tells her more about his day and work than he does with me. Any ideas on how to live with this 24 yo SD with her behavior? Every time I talk to my husband about my feelings and what happens, he is quick to make excuses for her and ignores my feelings, ignores me when I cry then turns it on me or tells me his girls ignore him. Ugh! Help!