Made a Breakthrough Today....
So--I finally sat DH down and made him LISTEN to me. I framed how I was feeling in a new way that he would better understand where I was coming from. I explained to him that SD has not taken enough classes to transfer to the main campus, (I actually checked-it's right there in black & white on the website), therefore she WILL take some summer classes to make up for it so she can make the move to the main campus. There will be no "summer break" where she can hang out and just work and sleep in her free time. Nope. I also let him know that since we are planning to look at houses soon, she MUST take these classes and get ready to move on to campus or an apartment. He had no idea she was not taking enough credits (shock!) and I told him he needs to sit her ass down and point blank ask her what her goal is for being here because it seems like right now she's more interested in her job than she is in school. I told him the whole reason for her being here was to go to school and she has shrugged off countless letters from the University, open house invitations, and even scholarships, and that something isn't right. Again he agreed and did admit that he noticed how she has been blowing it all off.
He is going to call BM this week and find out if she's been talking to her first and find out where her head is. Then, he's going to tell her she will enroll in these summer classes to get the credits so she can make the transfer. He said he will also let her know we are planning on buying a home after summer and she must make a decision on what she wants to do. I feel so much more relief because he completely agreed with me and actually finally realized that he saw what I've been seeing-he just never wanted to admit it. He truly had no idea she was behind in credits, and now he can she has been stalling. I told him the reason is that she is too comfortable here and doesn't want to move out and branch out of the nest. She has GOT to focus on school and determine what she is doing here because if she doesn't want to continue, she needs to go back home to mom. She cannot live here forever doing nothing in terms of the education because again, That's the REASON she came here supposedly in the first place.
He is going to try and sit her down tomorrow. I told him he has got to be the "mean parent" and stop being her friend! Otherwise, (and I actually said this), she will be living with you till she's 30 and you'll be divorced.
Wish me luck that he gets something from her soon and puts a fire under her ass.