Loooong phone calls between SO and SD23
So I am disengaged from SD23 and SO is supportive. I am also supportive of SO maintaining his own seperate relationship with SD23.
Over the 5 years of our relationship, while SD was away at college, SO and SD would have long phone calls about once a month. I mean LONG - 1 or 2 or sometimes 3 hours. I thought is was odd but SD is needy and it was only once a month or so, I was fine with it except for one time when SO and I had plans to go to our complex jacuzzi after his call, which went on for 3 hours. Of course at that point it was 9 pm on a Sunday and I had to get up early for work the next day, so I laid into him about being considerate of other people's time and he needed to cut that phone call off after an hour if we had plans - even if they were just casual plans. He agreed and has been doing so ever since then.
So Saturday we were home and I made a nice dinner for us - homemade, fresh pasta and some veggie sides. He said at 5 pm he and SD23 had arranged for a catch-up phone call, so I said fine no problem. Now we don't have a set dinner time but typically eat between 6 and 6:30 pm. So 6 pm rolls around and they are still talking. It gets to 6:20 and SO finally heads downstairs. I was a bit perturbed and reminded him that the phone calls are fine with me but boundaries need to be respected, and dinner time - which for most people is between 6-8 pm - should be respected. He agreed and apologized, and said he tried to end the call at 6 pm but needy SD brought up some important topic (he didn't say what - I've told him he can talk about SD but not about any complaints she has related to me or the house as I am sensitive about those topics) and 6:20 was the earliest he could get her off the phone. I said ok, but going forward the calls need to be managed better by you (SO) as he knows this is SD's pattern, to drag out the calls because she is super needy. He said yes, apologiezed again, and did seem to get it. Going forward he will not be on the phone with SD during our dinner time.
Saturday night and SD23 has nothing else to do but be on the phone with Daddy for hours - unsurprising but still shouldn't affect our adult time together.