My GF and I began dating a year and a half ago. We knew each other in college but never dated. 30 years later, both divorced, we re-met and began dating. A few weeks into our relationship, there were accusations that I wasn't being faithful that my GF quickly shared with her four sons, now 26,24,21 and 19. We resolved the issue. Three out of four of the sons were good with my explanations. The next youngest refuses to believe anything.

Moving forward. We've moved in together. The two oldest boys are awesome and we're good friends. The two youngest live with us. They're 9th grade dropouts. They're unemployed. They don't contribute anything to rent or utilities and do chores only if their mom begs them. She usually ends up doing them. All they do is play video games all night and sleep all day. They both have smart phones, game systems and internet in their rooms that we pay for. The 19 year old rarely comes out of his room except to eat. Other than his hermit-like behavior, we get along ok.

I've tried to get along with the 21 year old. At his mother's insisting, I gave him the den that I wanted for my extensive home theater for his room. I framed and installed a door so that he and his GF could have some privacy. When he had a cash settlement and wanted to buy a car, I took him to a dealership and helped pick out a good vehicle and negotiated a great deal for him. He gets the driveway, I have to park on the side, driving in the dead grass in our front yard. I still don't know where he gets money for gas and insurance. (right)

Finances are extremely tight. My GF insists on buying whatever food these two want, usually two different things. I've taken on an extra job (job 5) and am paying in every dime of my income now, not just the amount that I initially agreed to.

The 21 year old doesn't talk to me and refers to me as a douche. His mom says she can't do anything about it. Tonight when we were looking for the 19 year old's lost kitten, I asked the 21 year old if he'd seen his mom. He wouldn't talk to me. When I pressed that I was worried about her, he implied that I was an idiot. Out of the blue, he asked if I was going to hit him. I told him no, but I wished he'd be nice to me since I'd done nothing but be nice to him. He brought up that he thought that I had been unfaithful to his mom a year and a half ago and that if I did hit him, he'd put me in the hospital.

I'm not afraid of him, I can handle my self very well. What I'm afraid of is what happens to me if we do have an altercation. I don't believe his mom would be in my corner. Since all my money is in the joint checking, I can't save to move out. I feel stuck. If he weren't in the house, I think that the GF and I could be great together. But with him here, it's like the proverbial elephant in the living room. She says that I need to ignore him. I can't anymore.

What to do?
Trapped