It still bugs me even though i am disengaged.
So SD is ramping up again. DH has been back at the house for 2 weeks to do some renovations and painting - we are selling the house.
So SD invites DH only to go out one evening this week with her kids. Some kid based activity - pumpkin patch or something like that. DH and I already had plans to go out for dinner. So at dinner he mentions it and it felt like he was saying, 'see, I do put you first... I didn't go to the pumpkin patch with Sd and gkids". All I heard was, SD is being disrespectful and rude by not inviting her dad's wife. DH said, well, she didn't invite you because she knows you wouldn't want to go. I said, oh, she reads minds now too LOL. I do love the gkids and that is my problem I guess. I miss them and would like to spend some time with them.
Our BS is away at a boarding school and we visit him every weekend. SD was asked by her dad to write our BS a letter. She did write one once before and we brought it to BS. Well since DH is going away for two weeks she wouldn't give the letter for me to give to BS. She mailed it instead, but mailed to the wrong place because she didn't even check the address. I took this as a passive agressive move as well. Like she would rather drive out - buy stamps - mail a letter, rather than pop it in our mailbox to hand-deliver to BS. We live 12 houses away for petes sake.
I just am sooo glad we are moving! Once we are out of walking distance the constant manipulation by SD on DH will come to an abrupt halt. It just doesn't seem to work as well on the phone. I know this because when DH is away at the cottage for weeks at a time, SD does not get in his head quite so well.
We didn't fight at all about SD though so that is HUGE progress for both of us. I dropped the subject as quickly as it was brought up. It does stay in my head though for a few days. That is what bugs me, I really need to work on not letting stupid Passive Agressive crap SD pulls stay in my head.
Any advice on how to do that? I try to shake it off but it pops back in quite frequently for a few days after.