is it fair to expect the same from a 17yr old as a 26 yr old
My partner of 11 years can't seem to help himself. When he is stressed about his own kids, he incessantly picks on mine - usually to me. Mostly, I can brush it off, but sometimes he pick's till he gets a response.
We live with my 2 daughters 12 and 17, and until recently, his son13, in 50/50 care. SS13 has decided he wants to stat at his mum's - freedom and bribery - and to be honest, It's taken alot of pressure of us. Now dysfunctional SS26 is going to be living with us. He is particularly lazy and lives like a pig. Last time he moved in, we (partner & I) argued 24/7.
My partner really doesn't want him back...but is guilted out easily.(victim child of divorce - yes he left ss26 mother.....20yrs ago)
Whats bothering me is how projects his disappointment in ss26 onto my bd17. I pulled him up on it..again.. but he doesn't think a 9 year age gap is relevant in expectations of a "child".
I know we are in for problems. I don't think we should be financially supporting SS26. I don't feel we should be obliged to taxi him around, because he won't get his license. I don''t want his filth in my face - this "kid" has had moldy plates on his sink for over 4 month's. He literally stinks because he wont shower.
I don't mind running bd to work at this stage, and she's doing driving lessons. She works f/t and also a fair amount of board. She can be a slob for sure - as most that age seem to. But she's 17, not 26.
Partner called me pathetic today, because I brought a plate out of bd's room, after I had been in there talking to her. I know however, he's really peeved cause he'd just seen the state of SS26 kitchen. He won't discuss it with me....just picks instead.
He say's it's because he dosn't want 17 to turn out like 26. How do I get him to see his tactics really suck.