Interesting Phone Call with DH and YSD
DH called YSD recently because he wanted to wish his 1 year grandson happy birthday.
YSD picks up and as soon as she does DH puts her on speaker and then walks upstairs to the office where I was working and tells her he is calling because we want to wish sgs happy birthday
That is the limit of what I will do at this point, have made it clear to DH that I will no longer participate in the video and phone calls with YSD, after way too many incidents of her excluding, not acknowledging, doing things to humiliate and hurt me, etc...
After DH mentioned that "we" wanted to say HB to sgs he says that Disillisioned is here too
I say a polite "Hi!" to her
YSD then says that SGS is out with SSIL right now but how are things going with us.
DH responds that things are going great yada yada
Surprisingly, YSD clearly picked up on the fact that I wasn't saying much because she started to say something about Disillusioned you don't sound...then stops, and instead says "Disillusioned how's work?"
Now YSD is really good at making herself look like she's innocent to all the things that she does, really plays the passive agressive thing well by doing things that are really not nice and then acting all sweet and nice, most especially in front of DH (or by group text that DH is on)
Anyway, I can play the game too and when someone puts in any effort with me regardless of intent I will always respond back and then some.
So I say, "work is rocking. Thanks for asking YSD. How is your work going?
Now, all would have been good with this if she simply answered and I say great or wonderful or whatever and that was it but of course DH has to jump right in there and say "Yes, YSD how is your work going?"
The way he said it really ticked me off as it felt like 'who cares how it's going with Disillusioned's work it's you I want to know about' this was especially infuriating to me that after all the crap she's pulled with me DH as usual acts like everything is perfectly okay while he talks to her
When she goes on about how wonderful and great everything is at her work DH continues his ass-kissing wth her going on how fantastic that is etc.. etc...
I didnt say much for the rest of the call, got back to what I was working on and let them talk. But afterwards I mentioned to DH that this is exactly why I don't want to participate, in these calls.
That the moment YSD says two words, especially if directed at me he falls over backwards like she is the best thing ever. No worries how she's treated Disillusioned, not only is he kissing her butt but even gives her the green light by acting like the only thing on the call that matters is her, and who cares how awful she has been to his wife prior to the call
I was expecting a huge argument with DH after this conversation, most especially based on the angry look on his face. But he surprised me by saying instead that he was sorry, he hadn't meant to do that it was not his intention at all
I said to DH, rather than an apology which I do appreciate, I would really prefer that next time we are all in the same space or on the same call for whatever reason, just stay out of any conversation between her and I. Unless of course he uses it as an opportunity to non-confrontationally reienforce that I matter to him and that he isn't going to tolerate the nonsense I've been subjected to
If she asks me something - let me respond and be done with it. Carry on the rest of the conversation without me
We will see