My response,  "you are absolutely right. Perhaps you should look for work closer to your home."

If your DH hasn't responded, let it go. His silence may not be as satisfying as the resounding no way in hell that you want, but it is a no all the same. 

She's not even being kind in her request to come to your house.  She's being snide and difficult.  Apparently you guys should get with the program that she's entitled to be at your home.

I have a stepmom and a Dad.  Not that long ago I came into their town before a wedding and needed a place to freshen up so that I wouldn't look like "travel" at the wedding.  We were late getting in and I knew I wouldn't have time to get to the hotel and get back in time.  So I texted my dad, who lived near the wedding and asked very nicely if it would be convenient for me to stop by for a bit.  I was upfront that I was needing to borrow their bathroom and would it bother him or SM to have us come by for about 20 minutes while I freshen up?

Because I was kind and considerate, not only did they say yes but they visited with DH and kept him entertained.  My SM had a basket of wet wipes and lotions and other toiletry things to help me ready and sitting on the bathroom counter when I got there.  My Dad had cold drinks poured for both of us.  Literally, they rolled out the red carpet.  I am a guest in their home and because I was considerate and kind and respectful of both of them, they treated me as such.

If I had said to my Dad "You and SM had better get on the same page because I need to come to your house", he would have rightfully told me that my hotel is only another 15 minute drive away and that I should have planned better.

You and DH are the one with "issues"? I don't think so. She sounds like she believes she is entitled to live in your home for her convenience. She is not. 

Her priorities are all wrong.

Why can't she go to Starbucks?  Or for a walk?  A 30 minute commute is nothing compared to what most people I know have.  I cannot imagine that your house is much closer to her than any number of other places she could go (restaurants, coffee shops, the library, a park, etc.), so I'm not getting the "preserve gas" thing.  Her request is ridiculous.  Grown adults don't go hang out at Daddy's house at lunchtime.  If you don't want her there, your husband should tell her no.  He should also tell her that the two of you don't have issues, you have boundaries.

Why can't she pack a lunch and eat with her co-workers????   

Let me guess.  Nobody likes her there either.  

There is no excuse-- for even believing you can be this rude and entitled.  DH needs to remind his sweetie pie, in no uncertain terms, that she owns zero portion of the marital home. Given her demanding expectations, she should never plan on coming over to your house for a lunch hour or anything else-- until she grows up and acts like a decent person. How old is this woman? Thirteen.....

I feel bad for you. NO ONE should have to rent an alternative place to live because they do not feel comfortable in their own home, which is being invaded by a self-entitled, disrespectful, hateful, adult who cannot grow up. The condescending tone in the email she sent to your DH is unacceptable.

If my adult skids or gskids tried to pull this at our home, I am sure my DH would reply to that nasty email telling the princess that our home is not your home, not your hotel. 

We would change the locks if she had a key immediately.

If any of the steps barged into our home and went through our things, I would call the police, as they are trespassing.

set up cameras if you don't have any.

If your DH is not man enough to stand up for you , his home and his marriage being respected, ask yourself how long you want to live like this. Adult steps don't get better, nicer or kinder; they get more hateful, disrespectful and nasty. At least that's what mine did and what seems to happen from what I read here.

good luck

I can't imagine the nerve of expecting to use my dad's house for my convenience. The thought would never cross my mind to even think of sending him something like that message, much less, to actually send it.

That very first sentence is very disrespectful and condescending.

She is an adult and can certainly figure out her own lunch break.

If I were your DH and were inclined to respond anything (and no response is fine..lol).. I would say the following.

DW and I are perfectly fine having you as a guest in our home to visit with me.  That, however, is not a solution to your commute/lunch issue.  My first suggestion there would be for you to pack your lunch and save the gas of not even driving anywhere.  Otherwise, there are sure to be many other closeby options such as a library, local park in good weather, mall, coffee shop etc...  Our home, is not one of those options.