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up2myiballs's picture

After dealing with my DH's inability to contain his BK's insolence toward me, because fear of losing their love--I have had enough. He has pilfered 35K from my business account to pay for out of state tuition (10k/semester) with a full ride, spending money and a sorority.

I have cut off the bank of me. Not wanting to strand the SD I offered to pay for one more semester-- instate only--no housing. Yes, this was my DH's fault to let this happen, but she owns this just as much--being 21 years old. She told "Daddy" it was unnecessary for me to make her out to be an "unappreciative naive child". (Oh Pleeeeeeaaaaase!)

The same went for his BS, 25yo. My DH, allowing him to be rude to me in our house, was my limit. I told my DH his son was not going to be rude to me again in my/our house. I would frog march him out the front door.
Now my DH feels as though I have muddied the waters, engages his BK as if there is nothing wrong, never breaching the issues. My DH wont admit he took advantage of me and my funds to save face with his BKs and now treats me with contempt.
Now I'm the bad guy?
All of you can go f*** yourselves. I'm done!

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

And he should pay you back for the money he pilfered from the business. wow. I am surprised you don't kick his ass to the curb.

Orange County Ca's picture

He stole $35,000 and now you're gifting his daughter another few grand? You're still buying love and it isn't going to work. What you'll get is contempt for being the fool.

I hope you're not just talking but telling all of them to leave otherwise you're just posturing.

up2myiballs's picture

No, the SD wouldn't accept my offer. She thought Daddy would cave but he couldn't. So the SD has encumbered her BM with the costs. I'm done. I was only trying to take the high road since I made a promise at the beginning.

The man behind the curtain, my DH, has been exposed--to me and his kids.

I'll recover from my mistake.

SugarSpice's picture

taking the high road gets you nowhere. i have learned to stand up for yourself if your husband wont defend you. its a matter of self respect.

up2myiballs's picture

Nothing wrong with standing up for myself with class and sophistication. I still get done what I need to get done--without lowering myself to their space. That's how I respect myself.

up2myiballs's picture

The money thing goes deeper than the 35K. I told him he had to sign his part of the equity in our house over to me--I put it sole and separate. Split the bank account and goods. He's out of the house and I'm going to get it ready to sell this summer. We were married four years. Now he has no house, no wife, living in a travel trailer at a local RV Park.

BUT? He has BK's that love him. Oh but wait--he doesn't have any more money to "LOVE" them with.

sandye21's picture

As Still_fearless wrote, he's a gold digger. It may take some time to get over this outrageous abuse but you will. In no time at all you will be back on track and thank your lucky stars you kicked his a$$ out. Just hope you can re-coop some of the money. You are strong and worthy of true love - especially the kind you give to yourself. You will find it but will know what to look out for. (((BIG HUGS)))

anotherstep's picture

^THIS^ I can see it being spun that she should not be punished for her father's crime but why are you obligated to pay for her education? The way I see it, she is lucky that you did not throw her father in jail and have her investigated as well. It may not be something you will be able to prove but I find it hard to believe that she did not know that the money was coming from somewhere it should not have been. Were there ever any conversations where she happened to mention how lucky she was that daddy was financing her? Probably not. I would bet a great deal of money that your H told her never to mention it. And anyone with half a brain would wonder why - which makes her at least morally complicit even if you could not do anything legally.

up2myiballs's picture

No, he made it look as if he was financing the school from his student IRA. Technically it was in a joint account that he used the money from. He took advantage of me. I'm not the litigious type so I wouldn't do that. Bad Karma. She is just an entitled little f***, and thinks she thinks since he left the family he owes her.

We were married for three years before I met the SD. During that interim she never asked about me or ever told her "Daddy" how happy she was for him that he married me.

The SD wants to be a Dallas Cheerleader. She already tried out once, on our dime. She knows the Vaseline smile and how to be "nice". So when I met her she was "SWEET"....until I pulled the plug. My DH told me that he told his BD that we were splitting up. I asked him if she did a cheer. I WIN!! I WIN!! Rah rah rah!

The sad thing is....they will always be this way. The good thing is....I won't. Smile

frustratedstepdad's picture

I think I would probably pick up a bat and smash a door if my DW did to me.
Yep don't give his raggedy ass daughter another dime. She can take out student loans like most people do.

I love my Pitt bulls's picture

I did not raise my 2 now adult stepchildren and after 32 years of trying to keep the peace, I have finally figured it out. I disengaged after their last visit and expected show of disrespect this past Thanksgiving and feel 100% liberated! My husband is trying to turn it around on me but it is not working this time! Now, his daughter need not play the poor daughter, (victim) blaming her wicked stepmonster. I've given 200% and all for nothing. It will NEVER change so I have now given up and moved on! I should have done this years ago!