I'm Back and Working on ME
Had an absolutely wonderful time in Illinois. Time with DD and her family is priceless. She had a good long talk with DH who was home down in the SW. Guess she told him that I could not go on like this because it was taking a toll on me both mentally and physically and she didn't like it.
I am in counseling and one thing I have found out is that I am VERY ANGRY with all that I have had to go through. My system, on hyper alert is always waiting for the next onslaught or problem. The anxiety of never knowing when THAT person is going to act up and cry to her father again about who knows what, and her constant problems etc. never seem to totally leave me eventhough I have worked through a lot of BS on this.
One thing the counselor noted to me was that whenever I would talk about THAT person I was inclined to break into tears or start shaking. Hearing just some of my history with her she says she can understand why.
DH, well he is concerned, but he doesn't seem to understand why I still have such a strong raction to THAT person as we moved away. He just doesn't seem to understand that every time she starts up it brings everything back for me.
Counselor wants to see him too, but not right now.