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I Have Been Talking with TWIT's BioMother

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

First, let me say my stepson, who is a wonderful guy, could use prayers. He has suffered a ruptured colon and has been in the hospital for a week now and today, due to even more problem, they are going back in. Which is why I have talked to Twits mom. SIL has a special needs child he is raising by himself and only the biomom is in the same area. The rest of us are hundreds of miles away.

Anyway, Twit started up with me last week. Seems the news came in about her brother and she wanted to start running the show and running everyone, except Twit who is ALL TALK, ragged.

H called me and I we all meet and listened to a barrage of carp about how someone, someone I tell you needs to go IMMEDIATELY down there and take care of her brother. Oh, she was ready to leave on the spot until H and I were ready to let her put her actions were her talk was and then all of a sudden Sept. is a busy month for her and she can't get away.

I listened to a triade from Twit about how her mother is worthless piece of carp, won't be able to take care of the baby (2-1/2 years), can't even handle the car seat, etc. Even more so, Twit's aunt (who is also nutz) adds to the fuel by calling down there all the time. I guess it got to the point where the mother won't deal with Twit (gee, wonder why) or answer her calls.

Anyway, Twit's mom is handling things quite well. She is staying at her son's apartment, taking care of the child and.....eventhough Twit said/claimed otherwise....has a car seat for the child in her car as well. H talked to her about the situation and got the picture of what is going on first hand from her, away from all the Twit fog. He has also talked with his son.

He and I talked about various things to do. While Twit and the aunt feel they need to be down there Immediately to take care of SS, H and I are thinking more of getting him help when he gets out of the hospital as he has a long recovery and won't be able to pick things up, lift the boy, etc. Of course Twit, knowing everything, disagrees.

IMAGINE, hearing H tell her to sit back and give it a rest. He had talked to his ex, and she had him signed up at the nurses station so he can get info on what is going on. That made Twit livid and SHE should also have that access.

So, for awhile there it seems that I was going to drive down with H. Twit started bleating about how I shouldn't take her mother at face value, she is a liar, not to believe anything she says, is selfish and on it went (say, doesn't that sound like Twit?)

When I talked to her she was complete rational, very pleasant, had things under contro with the grandson but was worried. Especially now so with this additonal problem coming up. Very nice lady, even said she looks forward to meeting me.

This afternoon, as things are progressing and we are waiting to see/hear the outcome with SS, I told H he needed to fly down there NOW and stay as long as necessary, that his son, grown though he may be, is in a very bad situation. I told him that knowing he had two people to rely on with the son would make it easier on him..

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Sorry this is long. H's grandson is special needs and has a multitude of health problems.

Twit's mother said I am very welcome and she would make up the guest room for us. Very gracious lady. Not at all what Twit claims, but then she probably has Twit's number as well. Seems Twit was complaining that calls to her mother about her brother's condition were not being answered or returned. The aunt was having the same problem, but then Twit and the aunt always make everything a crisis whether it is or isn't

This situation is serious with SS, very life threatening and serious. I told H I would drive him to airport when things calm down a bit and he cold help out with things and I would come down in a couple of weeks. Don't need a village to take care of things down there.

Twit is livid, she wants to go there, fly, then we should drive and she will fly back, then we can leave and she will fly back down. Her mother is a jerk, self-centered, etc. So, when H told her to go ahead and go right now, as she claimed she needed to because her mother is incapable of taking care of the child or doing anything, suddenly she has things she has to do and Sept. is pretty busy for her. Yeah, right. The big Twitski hero until push comes to shove and meanwhile she stirs the pot and gets everyone even more upset and anxious about SS than we already are.

Anyway, I am going to get to meet Twitski's mom and I have some interesting questions for her about Twit. Naturally I will be tactful, but I bet I hear a bundle from her about Twit as well. Do note.....the Mother is not answering any calls from Twit or returning them and of course Twit is livid. Mom is probably smart in keeping her sanity and not dealing with Twit at such a time. She has also cut her sister off on the phone as well. Who needs those two neurotics at a time like this.

Will be interesting. Twit is livid, livid I tell you because when she calls the nurses station she gets NO INFORMATION on her brother. Hey, if her brother wanted her to know, he would have put her on that list as well.

Anywat, Twit is in a tetther because she can't control everything. She is going freaking nutz. When I left H and got home, he said he was getting tired of her nonsense about how he should do this, and that and SHE would take care of this and that. If she kept it up he was checking into a hotel for the night or so before he leaves to go down there. He didn't need any more stress and nonsense from Twit. As I say, crazy is crazy and they get even worse when they, the Twit's, want to control everything. SuperTwit has had her wings clipped and doesn't like it. H says Twit and her aunt are spending lots of time on the phone gripping and trying to tell him what he should do and getting angry when he ignores them.

You know, perhaps it isn't the mother Twit got her nastiness etc. from, but the aunt.

sandye21's picture

Really interesting how DH can't put up with Twit's carziness but expected you to.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Twit considers the wacky aunt the only "normal" person in the family besides Twit. That speaks volumes by itself. Birds of a feather flock together, and so do troublemakers and neurotics.

emotionaly beat up's picture

I think I questioned TWITS version of her mother once before. You know twit is a liar. She has nothing nice to say about anyone, so why believe what she says about her mother. I can only imagine what she has said to her mother about you. Twit may actually try to sabotage your visit here to keep you away from her mom. She may if panicked enough just jump on that plane and get there ahead of you, then let you know you don't need to come. If I were you, I'd make it my business to have coffee and a chat with twits mom

emotionaly beat up's picture

Oh and by the way learn the lesson. Don't show any false sense of loyalty to dh or twit. Be honest and open. If it comes up about twit being domineering, or if your gut tells you to bring it up. Go for it. If dh thinks you shouldn't have disgusted certain things with his ex, that may just be the lesson he needs to learn. How it feels when your partner discusses private things with a third party. Eg. How you feel when he discusses private that's with twit. Maybe he needs to know how it feels when you believe your partner has done the wrong thing by you.

Trust your gut all the way here. You may have been given a golden opportunity. Perhaps the karma bs s on its way to collect twit. Her brothers illness may inadvertently set off a chain of events here which exposé twit for who she is. Ahh! Life, the twists and turns. Smile

sandye21's picture

Interesting that SD backpeddled when she was put on the spot. LOL I agree with you - the last thing SS needs is 'twitcrap' when he gets out of the hospital. DH can deflect much of it if he goes down to stay with SS. This will also give him another view of Twit now that he is not depending on her for lodging.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Yes, you did question Twit's accounting of her mother. We shall see now won't we. I know that when H and I were talking Twit was twittering about how I shouldn't believe anything her mother says, that she is a pathological liar. Well, I know that Twit is a pathological liar and will lie about anything for no reason at all, or to look smarter, well informed, etc. than she is. Have caught her in many of those.

Yep, all of a sudden Twit has a busy life. But she still wants to run our lives in this matter. H told her to back out.....he and the biomom would be handling things. And that she should tell her aunt to butt out as well. As H said....tell Auntie not to call us (and try to start problems, worry, tell stories), we will call her when it is necessary. You can bet that auntie doesn't like hearing that, especially the way Twitie is going to present it to her.....like her father is mean, won't let her go see her sick brother, I'm being a witch etc.

The very last thing the SS needs at this time is a lot of people descending down on him.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thank you ever so much. He is a great guy and is raising a special needs child by himself. Totally devoted to the little guy. In fact, that is his greatest concern right now, that the child is taken care of. Both his bioma and my H are old - in their 70's - so that is why H is going to fly down there and do childcare duties, split them the other gma.

They've been divorced for almost 35 years, and have only talked to each other a few times, but when your children are involved, in cases like this, they are still mom and dad.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Well, it hasn't taken Twit long to get her nasty ball rolling. The tweets and texts and cell calls between her and the aunt to scheme and create havoc have already started.

At first, H and I were going to go down together. Twit had volunteered to watch our dog. Now, she doesn't know the change of plans for us, but has announced that it would be very inconvenient for her to take the dog. This she actually called and told me, she didn't tell H. I laughed and said no problem at all, I don't need you to take care of the dog. Thus she started inquiring what I was going to do with him, that her brother's apartment complex does not allow dogs. It was great to calmly reply that it was none of her concern. I had to bite my tongue not to say I didn't want my dog to end up like her dog did....dead. Let's see what she comes up with next.

H said there are some stories the aunt is telling Twit that the mother isn't handling the child correctly, etc. Usually I say nothing, but this time I responded that I felt that story telling is going around to get every one upset and angry at the bioma. I also told him I wasn't interested in hearing any more stories Twit and the aunt were passing around. He got one about his son's condition and what was going on that was totally false. H knew it was false because he had talked to the nurses station and got the real low-down. When he told Twit the truth, Twit stopped dead then started blabbering that what she heard from the aunt had to be factual....after all, the aunt IS a nurse!

EBU, with the "facts" this nurse aunt is passing around, I think she should be sent down to watch "All Saints" down there and learn something }:) What tripe.

emotionaly beat up's picture

By all means send her down for some Australian Medical Training, she sounds like she'd fit in nicely at the training hospital that other fool works at.

Me thnks Twit is going to keep upping the anti to stop you gong down there. Me thinks twit is in panic mode. Be careful, she now needs to start a full blown fight between you and dh so he doesn't want you down there with him. Hence starting to ring you about the dog rather than go through daddy. Watch out SDM rats are furious and will attack in a frenzy when cornered.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh EBU, you are so right. Twit is in panic mode. H called and asked if I wanted to go to the casino and dinner because he couldn't stand any more of her braying - yep, that is what he called it. He didn't say what she was braying about, but I can imagine. He says her cell is always ringing and she goes to another part of the house to talk....which H says, means she is talking about him, us, etc. with the wacky auntie. H says sometimes she comes back in the room wiping away tears...that she wants him to acknowledge how upset she is and ask her what is wrong, but he says he isn't getting involved with her drama. GOOD! Since he is down there for now, I hope she keeps it up.

It is none of my business, but I think wacky auntie is also a big part of Twit's problems with her mother. I have no doubt the lies and fabrications that Twit tells the aunt go right back to the mother. Sigh, I just don't understand people like that. I am sure I have been a BIG part of their discussions. You see, Twit slipped when she was trying to rule everyone about the situation and made a remark about my going down and how there were bad feelings. There are no bad feelings, I get along great with the SS, always have. Never had occasion to talk to or meet the biomom before but it has been over 35 years since their divorce and BM remarried, and divorced, during the interim. This was done to make me feel uncomfortable about things and the situation.....Twit failed. IMHO it was just more Twit sh*t. Even H called her on that one and she stammered about her bio mom, etc., but didn't make any sense.

I agree that she certainly doesn't want me talking to biomom.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

One glimmer of hope in all this mess. H is getting a real dose of Twit carp and treatment....viciousness etc. GREAT! Now he gets to see and experience how she really is.

sandye21's picture

Yes, and it appears DH is doing anything to escape. Plus Twit's 'charm' is wearing him down. One day I hope you ask him why (maybe at the next counselling session), if HE feels the need to escape, why would he expect you to put up with it?

Also I wonder what wonderful nurse Auntie thinks of Twit's idea that you can learn how to be a good nurse from watching TV.

You are quite a gal, SDM! You are, at this point, demonstrating to everyone (even BM) that there is no room for B.S. when considering the seriuosness of SS's condition. Another woman of less character might have reacted differently.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Hey you two, you puttin' shit on the Princess of Darkness. Ill have you know, there is nothing, nothing about medicine that women doesn't know, she's watched months and months of All Saints re runs thank you. Probably sitting on the couch with Twits auntie :). God help us all.

I agree with Sandye, ask him. If he who adores her, needs to get away from her over bearing personality, how could he expect you to put up with it.

Towanda's picture

SDM, sorry your SS is going through this devastating illness.
The crap your DH is going through right now with twit though sad, unwarrented and not needed at this time still makes me secretly grin.

I think he is about to become "unTwitmatized"! }:)

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi Towantda and thanks for your concern about SS.

Yep, here it is a time of crisis and Twit is me, me, meing all over the place. The BIG savior to the family (so she thinks). Me thinks she should start looking at her own clan.....why her one son is a big as a house and only works part time at a local grocery store....he is almost 30.

Why she is still "taking care of" the former Marine, who, according to her, couldn't mail out a package at the USPO on his own.

Why the third son hided away through drugs and now spends as little time around her as possible while he gets his life back on track.

Yet she is totally jealous of my daughter who has a degree, a good life, and a good husband. I know she feels very inferior to DD which is the reason she is so nasty to her. She started rumors about DD having an affair and cheating on her husband a little more than a year ago. Rumors untrue and unfounded. Heck, DD lives in a different town so had no clue, has little if anything to do with Twit as she can't stand her. I heard them and confronted Twit and pretty much told her I would rip her apart with my teeth if she kept it up. Of course, Twit claims she did no such thing, didn't know what I was talking about, etc. But, she did shut her foul mouth.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thank you Sandye, your comment makes me blush. I believe in family and that family helps each other in times of crises especially....Twit or no Twit. There are times that one has to endure Twit, like right now, and take care of the important things..SS and his child.

And yes, it is thrilling that H is getting a full blast of Twit nonsense.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh, comment on wacky auntie. Twit was braying that ole wacky had called her brother 7 times before 9 a.m. the morning after his late night surgery! Now, wacky, being a nurse, should know better than that. Besides, wacky lives on the other coast and there is a 3 hour difference in time so wacky was up REAL early to do the calling....if she really did it. With Twit it is hard to know what is truth and what is her delusions.

Both are upset that they don't have access to the nurses station due to the HIPPA laws.

I only met Wacky Auntie 2 times. She didn't impress me, seemed sneaky even then. The kind of person that can't look one in the eye when talking about anything. In my experience, people like Wacky are troublemakers and gossips. They live for drama and backbiting. And, of course, Twit likes to talk about Wacky and how her husband is so bad and she has it so tough
This is so Twit can believe life and family are above all that menial stuff The wacky auntien has a gorgeous house and a yaught boat on the Pacific ocean. Oh, it is awful that Wacky the nurse has to actually work at a hospital...she wants to just be a school nurse (translate....easy job), no real responsibility. LAZY IMO.

Now if Wacky were my friend, I certainly would not be discussing her maritial problems or job problems. But then I believe in loyalty to my friends, not backbiting or spreading the dirt about them.

emotionaly beat up's picture

I wouldn't be believing anything Twit had to say about whacky auntie, BM or anyone. Look what she said about your daughter. Twit just has to make everyone look bad to make herself and her life look good. She also has to make herself look as though she is the family Oracile and everyone goes through her, Twit, the keeper of family secrets.

The more Twit talks, the less you believe. These nurses are a worry, aren't they. The same goes for the one over here. She works in recovery, only two different shits to work, the latest finishing at 7pm. No weekends and public holidays are rostered. She doesn't do night shifts. She has a germ phobia (TRUE), so she doesn't do ward work. And of course, keeps her training up to date watching defunct tv shows.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

And once again EBU, you hit the Twit nail right on the head along with the nurse Wacky auntie. Oh the drama!!!

Almost choked on my coffee when I read your comment about Twit being the keeper of family secrets. I know you certainly jest there. Twit is more like the town crier if any one has a problem or she suspects any one of having a problem.

I have to laugh when Twit was going on about the BM etc. and about how she is always being asked by them for money. She claims the BM just asked for $3,500 from her. When I see BM I am certainly going to inquire about that.

Yet, Twit the rich, can only bother to give cheap gifts, used carpy ashtrays, box lot junk, garbage. And for entertaining, frozen pizza and pretty much throwing us out the door! Makes me laugh just to think of the B-B-Q she once invited us to - which consisted of 1, yes 1 hot dog each, 1 bowl of sausa and tortio chips. Drinks were one pitcher, yep, one pitcher of lemonade and when it was gone that was it. THAT is what she calls entertaining family. I call it cheap, cheap, cheap, and classless.

By contrast, when H & I entertain, we have a smorgishboard of various foods and plan on left overs. But I have noticed, much to his credit, H hasn't been opening up his wallet for Twit entertainment nor has he invited them over like he use to. I think he is getting tired of feeding them (and they eat like beasts and Twit also wants leftovers to take home for her 350 lb. son). We don't give out left overs anymore, not since Twit left with a half of tray of lasagna before we realized just how much she had taken....all that was left!

Yeah, I just know H has been having his fill of Twit and I love it. He's down with son/grandson now and he says Twit and Wacky burn up the phone. He has stopped answering their calls, as H says, nothing changes with SS in 3 hours. Ya gotta love it.