I Feel So Alone!
Feeling alone and at my wits end!
I'm married (20 yrs and 30 total together) with two adult sons with my husband and one adult step son. We had a rough start being so young when we got together and started having children. Finally, after 12 years of being together and after forgiving one another and repairing our relationship we got married. Was one of the most happiest days of my life. From then on my life with him and our children was like a happily ever after story. I thought all the heartache he put me through was over. Then one day he confessed he had an affair and he believed it resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. I was devasted and I still cry about it till this day. I felt I was stabbed in my heart. I never thought my wildest dreams he would do this. Long story short we tracked down the mother and child and had a DNA test done. It came back that my husband was the father although someone else had thought they were, she lied to her husband that it was his! My husband and I had counseling because I wanted out of the marriage I was so hurt and felt tricked into marrying him. We got to know the child who was just 10 years old at the time and my husband took on emotional and financial responsibility for his son. It was all good I had accepted him as my own, he was a wonderful, loving, smart child. Fast forward about 15 years later. My step son is an adult who made some very bad choices after graduating high school. He is now married and already has three children at only in his early 20's and no job! I hate absolutely hate being a step mom now! It has grown complicated especially now that my step son's wife. When they got married we weren't invited because the BM said so she hates my husband. The step daughter in law used to call my husband and I to tell us she was being mistreated but we weren't allow to confront son about it. I was furious. If my biological son's were being accused of that you bet I would get to the bottom of it! My husband complied and that set the stage for my unhappiness with this situation. I don't care for his wife, they use the grandkids to tug at my husbands heartstrings and my step son's wife don't have a very good relationship and she used to compare him to my oldest son who is happily married by saying why can't you be a hard worker like him. I asked her to stop doing that as it would cause friction with my son and him. She also has bad mouthed and put her mother in law on a peddlestal. When they come over the grand children are bratty have no discipline and they all dirty my house and I have to cook and clean up after everyone! I have tried to express my frustration to my husband who will temporarily put a band aide on the situation and then my step son will quit coming around and replying to my husband's texts and my husband will practically beg him to reply and come around. My biological son's have started to see this pattern and my frustration and we feel we have to tread lightly otherwise their dad and my husband will be offended. I'm so at my wits end I never wanted to be a step mother I feel tricked into this situation I hate it so much!