I could use some advice
I have been married to my DH for 2 years. My kids are are 24 and 20 and on their own. They are happy with their step father and have caused no problems. My DH has a daughter (only child and very spoiled) who is 18. She was 15 when he and I began dating and his divorce was almost final. I had nothing to do with the split of his first marriage. She was very cold to me and would not come around when we were dating. When we got engaged, she agreed to be in wedding, but at the last minute would not come (which was humiliating in front of family and friends). The situation only got worse after we were married. My husband never stopped thinking that he only had one child – and he still needed to give her whatever she demanded. I protested and explained to him that we actually had 3 children now. He agreed to my face, but snuck her money constantly on top of paying child support. We make good money, but we have a mortgage (because he didn't want to live in my house that was paid for) and car loans so we don't have money to throw away on designer clothes and snowboarding! Around March of last year all of the sudden, she started coming to our house and bringing her boyfriend. I was ecstatic and thought things were going to work out! I was very nervous and wasn’t sure how to act so I tried to be her friend and we kind of picked on her dad. All of the sudden she quit coming to the house with no explanation – at least to me. My husband told me later that she didn’t like the way I treated her father. ???? I was just playing along with her to try to be friends for God’s sake. Anyhow, her graduation came along and she only gave her dad one ticket. In other words, she didn’t want me there. I expected my husband to tell her to give us 2 or he wasn’t coming. Nope, he just went without me. I was so humiliated and that is exactly what her and her mother wanted. I knew other parents who had kids graduating and I ran into some of them and they wanted to know why I wasn’t there. I told the truth – I wasn’t invited. I had a conversation with my husband and I told him that he and his first wife did not raise their daughter to have very good manners or morals. He told his daughter I said that and she flipped out! Her and her friends all went to the beach after graduation. One night while they were there they decided to call my cell phone and mark the number private so that I couldn’t see who it was. When I answered they all started to call me names and said I better stop talking sh** about my step daughter and that I was the one who had a fu**ed up daughter (my daughter got pregnant at 17- but she is a great mother and is raising my grandson very well). I just stood there listening to this attack on myself and my daughter and then I hung up and called my husband at work. He did call her and he said that they were all drinking and one of them called my phone. He admits the way I have been treated is horrible. I said that I deserve an apology. Well it has been 5 months and no apology. She went off to college in Aug and didn’t even call him – she is 3 hours away. He hasn’t had much to do with her other than a few calls about her wanting money and wanting to see him without me being there. He is completely miserable. We went to a football game where she is and he called her to see if she would come see us and she refused because I was there. Just yesterday, he told me that her mother called and told him that her car broke down and he is going to go get it and bring it home and fix it. He bought this car and the BM would not help at all. My advice was to have the BM call a mechanic and have it fixed there and SHE pay for it. No way – he is going to get it tomorrow with a car dolly and pay for everything. I have no say in anything and I work 2 jobs and make as much as he does. And he informed me last night that he is going to help pay for an apartment for her next year because regardless of how she treats me, she is still his daughter and he loves her. I told him there was no way I was going to continue on in this marriage like this. We have been miserable because of this girl since day 1 and I only see more misery ahead. I guess he has made his choice and it isn’t me. I am tired of being the butt of jokes and humiliated. Please am I being unreasonable????