I am at my wits end and need some serious advice please!
I am a 49 year old mother of two, ages 25 and 20. Both are good kids, etc. I divorced their father about 8 yrs ago due to domestic violence issues. I got remarried about 2 years ago to a nice, Christian man who has 3 now adult children, ages 19, 25, and 27. At the beginning, of course, things were great, no issues really, just his ex-wife's jealousy which got quickly resolved. Now, for the past 1 1/2 yrs his kids have been making our lives a living hell. And I am not exaggerating. His oldest daughter hasn't given me any problems for the most part. It is his youngest, 19 yr old daughter who is constantly causing trouble, not only with me, but with my daughter and others in her family. I have tried to be nice and decent but it just does not work with her. She is very rebellious, got hooked on pot and then meth with a loser boyfriend. Has a baby by another boy that she lost custody of due to drugs, neglect, etc. She constantly lies to her dad, my husband, and he believes everything she says, while I can see right through her. I am a psychology major in college, so I know what I see and how she really is. She is so disrespectful to her dad and it makes me sick especially because she is so disrespectful to me. She has called me horrible names for no reason, to her it was a reason, like getting her car taken away for doing drugs. My husband is also under major control by his widowed mother who truly runs his life. In the beginning I truly thought it would get better, especially after we married, but no. His daughter needs serious help. I even tried to get him to spend time with her more while we were dating and he refused. Just wouldn't do it. He was always at my place. This part troubled me for I thought how could he just ignore his daughter? Well, fast forward to now. Now, he is usually gone most of his days off at his mothers house, which is fine, however, he stays gone so long and I get lonely. Its like we are not married at all. And his mom, daughter and his son are always having private phone calls and little "conferences" about issues that I feel like I should be involved in because I am his wife. I am a nice, sympathetic and kind person who would give anyone the shirt off my back. I have stayed quiet in the past but now its getting more and more difficult. His daughter lies and manipulates her dad constantly to get things, to get her way regardless of who it hurts, etc. She is on her own with a loser boyfriend who wont work and does drugs as well. There is so much more I could tell but its all the same type of issues: she wants something, lies to get it. and she has even stolen large amounts of money, recently, from her own mothers checking account. Nobody in the entire family makes her pay anything back, never tries to punish her or get her serious help. I am just so sick and tired of all this. My husband's son is also a real winner. He is gay, I do not have ANYTHING against gays at all, however, he, and excuse my language, prostitutes himself out constantly to get money. He is on all kinds of those hook up sites and people have sent me screen shots of what he posts and its quite sickening. The entire family has no morals whatsoever. They never were in church and were never punished when little, etc or taught how to treat others with respect and kindness. They only know how to lie and use people to their own advantage. My husband is a sweet man, don't get me wrong, He is just too sweet and too gullible. He refuses to admit his kids have any problems at all. I cant get over it. Our marriage is in trouble now because its just getting very old and I am too old to deal with this drama. That's the problem, constant drama with his kids. his mother and ex-wife thrive on it. My husband says he loves me, etc. but I don't know. And I sure don't know how to handle this anymore. I feel like I am going crazy and just want to run away. Please help me. If I have left out anything important please let me know, for I am upset even now while typing this. Thank you.