I am Going to be Alone for Christmas Day
and that's fine with me. I have planned my day, Church, brunch----ummm Dutch Baby, then talking to DD et. al., bing watching all 8 episoldes of Season 4 of Poldark while doing some rug hooking. Topped off by watching Call The Midwife Christmas Special on PBS. If you have not seen that series, it is extremely good and can really touch your heart with very well acted characters.
I digress, it will be strange being all by myself like this after so many years but I think I will manage.
H has asked if he can come over Christmas and I declined. Too easy to fall back during the holiday season. Last time I saw H he looked terrible - loosing weight etc. He wants me back but I am not ready to do that until issues have been resolved.
He is still doing counseling, as am I. I saw the counselor today and as I talked about things, I told her one thing I absolutely had to have in order for him to come back into my life, is his keeping his Twit, her life drama and trials, etc. OUT OF MY LIFE! I just can't handle all the carp she brings along with her attitude and snipes etc. at me as well as all I have been through with her before. Just talking to counselor about her I started bawling and shaking.
The last time I threw H out I would, at his request, pick him up at Twit's and we would go out to a movie, the casino, dinner etc. This time Twit is not around - not that he wants to go back there - but I realize that by doing that back then only put a bandaid on the problem.
Man, this is tough and I don't know how it is going to turn out. Counselor is going to put us together for a session next week. Will see how that goes.