husband disrespects me to SD, what to do?
My SD is now 24 and since DH and I married (18 years ago) I've felt that DH has disrespected to me to SD on various occasions and has enmeshed her in our marriage problems as SD got older. We went to intensive marriage counseling and the counselor admonished DH for enmeshing SD and not allowing her to be a child (no matter the age) and that it was never appropriate to keep secrets with SD or enmesh her with discussions about me that were not respectful. Things have waxed and waned over the years but its always an issue. I monitor his texts (he doesn't know) and SD is visiting for the holidays, tonight he wrote her a text asking her if she wanted to go shopping today to look for after xmas bargains but he added in "(not to be advertised)". In other words, he was telling her that it was to be a secret trip that I shouldn't know about. I know why he said this....because SD pays for nothing while still in college and although she works a part time job he does not hold her accountable for any financial contribution. He had just made a big deal last night about buying our younger daughter candy at the movies, now I see this text to SD. Should I feel disrespected by this text? I've lost perspective for sure. And I don't know if/when I should confront him because I'd have to tell him that I looked at his texts.