How would you handle this?
My last post I gave some info on my situation with adult skids. SS27 and SD29.
Just a quick refresh. SD29 and her loser BF came over in April for us to meet this loser. 7 months later I discover all my percocets are gone from the medicine cabinet.....well, after being alerted by another family member that they may be doing this drug of their choice. DH doesn't want to believe it was SD and keeps saying it was the BF who took them. (no I didn't physically see them take them, because they shut the bathroom door) I don't care because I KNOW for a fact that SD took pills from someone else in the family.
So, I put up the sign in my med cabinet and hung it there for "whoever" looks in there that shouldn't be rummaging thru my cabinets. It said "you already stole all the percocets, so go look in someone elses medicine cabinet!!" Well last night, DH took the sign down. I got pissed off. I didn't say anything and put it back up.
Obviously, he wants to sweep everything under the rug, like everything else and I would like for SD to take responsibility for what she did and be called out on the carpet. of course I know she's going to deny it and cry, wah wah wah and I'm going to look like the bad one, but I just can't seem to let this go.
How would you handle this situation and what would you say to DH and how would you approach SD? I tired of feeling like a dumb doormat.
She also stole money from me, but once again, I didnt SEE her take it, but the situation was that she was the only one around!! DH and I agreed on trying to get her to confess by telling her that I didn't know about it and it was jsut between DH and her because we thought maybe she would be more willing to admit it, if it was only between her dad and her that knew the money was gone. She denied it completely. So, now I can't confront her on that issue.
grrrrrrrr.....
Putting something else in the
Putting something else in the bottle --- HMMM! How about a strong laxative!
Hahahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahaha
I wouldn't say anything to
I wouldn't say anything to her at all I just would tell my husband that since he is choosing to ignore it that she is no longer welcome. If and when he decides to speak to her and then she decides to return your stolen items (or replace them) then she MAY be allowed to visit with very keen supervision. It wont do you any good to say anything to her...you already know what will happen. Nothing, and she will just be your "victim". So say nothing but enforce that she is not allowed in the home under current circumstances until conditions are met!
hidden camera to capture your
hidden camera to capture your suspicions? wild idea but it works.
Thanks for the comments and
Thanks for the comments and suggestions.
I would love to ban her from the house. I already told DH she is NOT welcome in the house. He swept that under the rug and shortly after the last time I said it he tells me she is on her way over! WTF
It is going to be a fight. I know.
and Mamabecky you are right, it won't get me anywhere if i say anything to her.
Maidita, I love the hidden camera idea!
if you cant ban her from the
if you cant ban her from the house; I agree setup a camera. Better yet, fill it with more drugs for her and then do it...I would tell DH that if indeed she has a drug problem and you're ignoring it-its on your head. I warned you. They always say, "you can judge a person by the friends they keep".
It doesn't cost that much to
It doesn't cost that much to get one of those little cameras that no one can see. Just play it back after they're gone. Kind of "set them up", you know?
You may want to remind DH that "Possession/Selling of a Controlled Substance" is a felony and you'd just HATE to see the little princess dressed in orange!
Bwahahahahahahah!!!!
Here's a really fun way of
Here's a really fun way of seeing if anyone is going through your medicine cabinets - carefully fill the cabinet with marbles and close the cabinet doors. The next time someone decides to snoop you'll definitely know it! Make sure you place enough marbles in to scare the bejeebers out of them when they come tumbling out!
We have a friend that comes to our house and I keep threatening to do this to him.
Or get one of those musical
Or get one of those musical birthday cards. tape it inside the door and to the back. When the cabinet is opened it'll start playing and they're busted.
Also like laxatives in the bottle, and a motion sensor camera.
Hi Horsefly, I'm new here,
Hi Horsefly,
I'm new here, but unfortunately not new to the world of step-crap...
I had a problem with sticky fingered SK's too, and a DH who only considers self-witnessed, concrete bound fact as grounds to address issues, sigh. Do you have a guest bathroom that is separate from the bathroom where you keep your medications? I made my private areas in our home off limits to the SK's, although they violated it all the time, it did give me the ability to make DH responsible for my personal space being breached. It took the theft of all of my jewelry for him to concede that I had a right to disallow them from our home - too little, too late as is usually the case in these situations.
I would tell your husband that you are legally responsible for controlled substances in your home, and that if they go missing again you will be forced to file a police a report so that you don't compromise your ability to obtain necessary medication in the future.
FWIW - if she has a drug problem, it's just a matter of time before other things of real value go missing. If you don't have a safe, you should consider getting one. I am still sick over the loss of my jewelry, and a safe would have saved me a lot of grief. The IP camera idea is pretty good too, you can monitor your home from a laptop when you're away, and because it's time and date stamped it's legally admissible.
I hope it works out... Sorry you're going through it.
Thanks to you all for your
Thanks to you all for your comments. I'm glad I found this website and it's comforting to know that even though I feel alone, I can come here and not feel alone at all!!
I am going on Friday to have my other hip operated on and SD called DH yesterday because she wanted to know how to sell her treadmill on Craiglist. (um....it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. She must need money for more drugs) and I told him "DO NOT TELL HER I AM GOING IN FOR SURGERY!!!! MY LIFE IS NON OF HER BUSINESS" !!!!!
I'm going to have him get me the medicine and I"m going to keep it in my pocket, so I can count them and keep an eye on them. (I only need some for the first 2 days or so)
I am going to talk to DH about cameras inside the house. We actually have survelience cameras all around the outside of the house, so at least I can tell if she has been over without us being there. Plus got a new dog, who does NOT know her and is very protective of his house! (I don't want him to know her either)
sixteenmom, love the idea about the laxatives!! haha
Thanks again, my friends.
I also like the marbles idea.
I also like the marbles idea. Those are loud and it will be no doubt she or her bf is the one that did it when they fall out and they will come out with red faces! LOL
I envision these types of
I envision these types of problems with my MSS and he is only 9. He is in for a life of crime and theft I am absolutely sure of it.