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How Twit Tried to Ruin Christmas

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Well, Twit surfaced just before Christmas Eve. Figured she would as she doesn't want to miss out on any goodies. DH invited her over to our Christmas Eve dinner. My own DD was suppose to be here but with all the bad weather and snow, bad traveling I told her to stay home...I miss her and her family, but it is a lot safer.

So we fix the fixings we were going to have, lasagna, salad, italian beef, fries, apple pie all done from scratch (DH and I love to cook) for dinner to be served at 6 p.m. Six thrity no Twit family, they finally show up about a quarter to 7. DH insisted on holding dinner for them. Luckily, keeping lasagna warm is not hard.

So after dinner we go in by the tree for dessert etc. She hands out a few nicely wrapped packages. I got a used, auction lot small cheap wind chime and a 4" resin plate with a lighthouse on it. DH got a plastic box with a light house on it. Well, after a few minutes DH looks at me and says to get Twits gifts out. I told him I didn't buy anything that he ws to do it as we discussed (this was said right in front of her). The look on Twit's face when she realized she was getting nothing for Christmas from me (as I do the gift buying) was priceless. DH, well, he looked pretty uncomfortable. Me, all I felt was, hey, not my problem. I could see Twit scanning the packages under the tree that had my daughter's name on them with longing. Too bad.

Seems she also asked her daddy to come over Christmas Day for Christmas Dinner. He didn't ask me, as I wasn't around when this occured, but that's okey. With my DD not there I had nothing else to do.

Anyway, after the gift thing, she announces that we should be at her house for "dinner" by 12:30 and she is serving pizza. Strange, not exactly what one would think of as a Christmas dinner.

We show, and get served frozen pizza on paper plates. About 1:30 she says that she thinks we should leave and get home as there are blizzard storm warnings out and she would be worried thinking about us on the roads in those conditions. Sounds touching until you know that those blizzard storm warnings are for later Christmas night around 10:00 p.m. We left.

spent the rest of the day in front of the tree. Our Christmas dinner was left over lasagna and a good wine...delicious. And, luckily, Twit's hoard didn't quite eat us out of house and home the night before.

What I found interesting is that Twit never called the next day, or today to see how we dealt with the storm that came through late Christmas Night and on Dec. 26. Not a word.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Hah! Good one. I am so happy to hear of a successful moment for a SM for a change. I am going to do the same from now on!

Good on Twit for getting her just desserts!

You handled it beautifully and with class. That makes it all the better Wink

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thank you 20years. It has been a tough row and I know there is more to go. Twit might be just starting to realize that when you carp on the gift giver you get nadda. Wouldn't waste the money to buy a stocking filled with coal as that would even be too good for her.

She will be back, rearing her evil head with more problems. She is one sick puppy, which is sad. We could have had such a nice relationship, but I won't tolerate from her things I wouldn't tolerate from my own daughter.

I have no doubt there will still be times I need to talk with my friends here on this board. DH still has a long way to go and right now he vacilates between being for me and then for her.

bi's picture

"We could have had such a nice relationship, but I won't tolerate from her things I wouldn't tolerate from my own daughter."

i've said this myself many times. sd could have had it made with me as a sm. she is the one who chose to spoil this relationship. i have a lot to offer, but i don't keep giving when getting shit on is my thanks for it. she has a hard time comprehending that. she thinks i owe it to her to always be there and always be doing for her no matter what, because i'm with her dad. :?

i think she is starting to realize that i'm seriously done with her. her inane idea that all should be forgiven within a day or 2, no matter what she does, is ridiculous. i don't owe her anything. i sure as hell don't owe forgiving and forgetting and opening myself right back up to the offender when the offender can't so much as mutter an insincere apology for ANYTHING.

twopines's picture

I agree with this as well. SD27 and I actually had a great relationship for a few years. We really were like friends. Her temper and verbal-diarrhea mouth ruined it. She doesn't get the benefit of my resources anymore, and it's glaringly obvious when gift-giving time rolls around.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Agree. I put $20.00 bills in the napkins for the grandsons. DH laughing says that one of them has a $100 bill in it and you should have seen Twit grab her napkins to take off the hapkin ring etc. I told her not to bother, there was no $100 bill (sorry GKs) and only the GKs got something). Hey, just because Twit is a jerk doesn't mean I/we should take it out on them.

DH didn't fail to notice how fast she grabbed her napkin when he joked about this. Twit thought he was serious.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Soo greedy! It seems to be a common denominator with the nasty SD's - they are all really self-centered and GREEDY.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

20years - Yep. For some reason it seems that the greediest are also the nastiest.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Exactly. For years I treated both girls, my DD and SD the same. But then I didn't really know SD that well as it was over the years she proved to me what she was.

And it is her loss because she enjoyed the little trinkets, tickets to the theatre for the 3 of us (the guys aren't big on that stuff), etc. But if Twit was going to act like a jerk, a cruel, mean, vicious, vindictive Twit, I want none of it.

And it's not like I expect her to have the Lexus waiting outside my house with the big ribbon on it 'cause that type of thing doesn't matter. But being given an ash tray one year, 4 STAINED yellowed, wrinkled, dirty napkins one year, etc. shows a complete disdain for me. Yet, she brags about how they made her husband's mother a lapis and cloisonne necklace because she would like one, you get the drift. Take, take, take. You can bet she wouldn't dream of giving his mother something dirty, trashy or stinky from an auction or thrift store. Nor would I even think of doing something like that.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I believe we were asked early and pushed out quickly because she didn't get nothing for Christmas ['cause she has been nothing but bad to the main gift buyer...ME]. That once we left the stuff came out for their real Christmas dinner. No one eats Christmas dinner at noon because most of us have a late breakfast.

Anyway, today DH says that next Christmas Eve we ought to do things simplier...I know what he is thinking/saying, but I'm not going there. I tell him I would be okay with hot dogs and potatoe chips in a matter of fact manner like I am just giving a suggestion to what he said. Funny, he burst out laughing and gives me a hug and a kiss. I think he feels real bad about what she did.

But, do note, he has not said one word about my not buying Christmas gift for Twit. In fact, when I picked up her cheap gifts on Christmas Eve, he had asked me what I was going to do with them and I said garage sale/charity pile for them.

WHAT is interesting in this whole matter is that I did not find myself getting upset by Twit, feeling bad by what she pulls, etc. I actually pitied her for being so small, mean and classless. I actually found her actions/reactions almost commical, entertaining. Perhaps this is the result of the disengaging and the fact that I no longer go out of my way for her. When you have no investment in someone they can't hurt you. They can be rude, but they can't hurt you.

Oh, I am not foolish to believe that all situations are going to be like this. I am certain Twit is going to come back even badder, nastier and crueler than before because it is her nature. And I do feel pity for her because of what she is, but she is making and has made her own bed.

I am also certain DH is not going to be having his calls returned for a long time, or until she needs something, someone to watch her dog, etc. That is fine just as long as DH doesn's start on me about her. He cannot fault me, I am always polite to her, but I don't take carp from her and she knows it. Nor do I let her draw me into something where she can say to Daddy.....look, it's HER fault. And, honestly, it takes work, but it makes me feel so good.

Now it is up to DH to get his act together in dealing with her. That will be the tough part. He knows, but he still hopes.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thank you. As I said, it rather surprised me as well. Last year I was in tears not understanding why Twit was so cruel to me. DH was telling me to be big about it and Twit was cashing in on my generosity. It has almost, and may still if he doesn't get his head on straight about dealing with her, cost me my marriage.

I found this board looking for some kind of help and started disengaging. It is not easy and the carp, unfortunately, keeps coming. But I actually feel peaceful about things this Christmas. I invested nothing in her so I expected nothing out of her except her usual drama. Though I admit, with the early frozen pizza alleged Christmas dinner and then practically pushing us out, that was a new high for her. But I found myself amused by her actions and lack of class. She should have saved us the gas by just calling up Christmas morning and telling us not to come.

But, as I said, Twit's kind don't quite. All her life she has made trouble for people, and I mean some pretty nasty stuff. She didn't like what happened and, as she herself says, she NEVER FORGETS, so I will always watch my back. I just hope she keeps exposing her nasty side to DH and that he eventually has his fill of her.

bi's picture

i don't and never have understood what sd20's problem with me is, either. i used to try to figure it out. the only thing i can come up with is that she's pissed and jealous that fdh has someone in his life besides her, and i think it burns her ass big time that he has a family with bd17, bs4, and me. maybe i'm wrong. i don't know. i'm beyond caring. it's her problem. i won't let it be mine ever again.

why i can't stand her shouldn't be a mystery to her, but she acts like it is. she probably truly doesn't understand, as she doesn't think she's capable of doing anything that isn't either sweet, cute, funny, or amusing. :sick:

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

bi - Are you saying that when she does something mean and you call her on it she jumps on the clueless bus? That is an agressive tactic to make YOU think that the problem is you, the failure to admit that she might have hurt your feelings, or done something that upset you. I learned the hard way that you can't reason with someone like that, they just won't admit it or own it. But your SD is only, what, 20? She still might be coming out of that pouting stage they hit about 14 when they think us "older" people, natural parents or not, don't know anything. Went through that with my own DD.

Twit one time did a hip hit on me where I almost fell over. I have a bad leg and am not always as solid standing as I would like to be. When I confronted her and asked what that was about, she didn't know what I was talking about. When I told her it hurt me what she had done, she right away turned the tables about how the problem was me and not her, I was making it up, it didn't happen. Was very, very strange. This from a then 46 year old woman. She actually didn't see anything wrong in what she did, which is not normal IMO. Her response is to get mean and nasty to me right away. This incident resulted in her telling some pretty nasty, untrue stories about me to her Father. Very vicious. When she started doing that I called her and told her that she should be very careful about what she was doing because there was no basis in her lies and she was starting trouble with DH and I. She continued. Luckily, DH knew her stories were not true, but it showed what an evil person she was and how she is unable to see what and how her actions affect others, she immediately brings it all back to being about her. It's all about her and how nasty you are to tell her that she almost knocked you over with a hip swing. Strange, real strange. That is why I have to make sure to keep an eye on what she is doing and where she is coming from. But now that I am disengaging instead of getting angry, I find I pity her more and more but I realize what she is is of her own choosing.

bi's picture

not so much clueless as full of excuses for her behavior and making me out to be unreasonable and mean. when she was younger and said shitty things and i called her out on it, she was always "just joking, geez!" yeah, sure she was. now that she's older, it's all me, i hold a grudge, etc. she can call it holding a grudge if that makes her feel better about her behavior. i call it refusing to be shit on by her anymore.

Amber Miller's picture

As disabled person who walks with a cane I find this extremely offensive. I too can be easily knocked off my feet. I would be furious if someone bumped into me hard enough to make me fall and not say " excuse me". I don't even think princess brat would stoop this low. While she can't stand me I don't think shed ever try to inflict physical pain on me. Then Twit blamed you for the hip bump? That's disgraceful. My legs give out and I fall sometimes so I know how you feel in regards to a weak leg. My whole body is weak so I can totally sympathize with you. I have to admit princess brat is a problem but Twit sounds more malicious than she does. The truth is that my SD is bipolar and has a great deal of narcissistic and borderline personality features but I know she'd never physically hurt me. I know she does have a heart and somewhere deep down inside feels bad that I am so sick. I believe this because she told me and I believe her. It's a little different because she is legitimately mentally ill so I have to cut her some slack for that but Twit sounds ruthless. I have communicated with you for only a short time but I am a good judge of character and uou seem to be a nice lady. I couldn't imagine hip-bumping you unless it was an accident and if it was I'd say " excuse me; are you ok?". This is a big issue for me and that's why I'm responding. As a disabled person I am horrified at the lack of acknowledgment for your bad leg. I am away from home right now, traveling 4 hous away from DH because of the barrage of verbal abuse I was subjected to last night regarding princess brat. I know she's sick but I had to draw the line somewhere. I am so sad. I miss my DH already and am not going home until Sunday. Hopefully he will realize how much he misses me. Even though SD is mentally ill, it doesn't give her and her daddy a right to abuse me emotionally. Maybe this is the wrong place to post this. Perhaps I should start my own discussion but I just wanted to let this out here and now. I miss my husband

Towanda's picture

Amber I hope you do start your own discussion on this. Traveled 4 hours last night to get away? Fill us in on a new post. I am sure you are very distraut right now!

Amber Miller's picture

Hi Towanda. Thank you for saying that. You're right. I do need to start a new post. I have to ask for the wi-fi code here at my relatives house because I'd rather type on my iPad instead of my iPhone as it's a long story but I don't want to disturb my aunt and uncle as the are enjoying private time right now. I'll fill you guys in. It's a sad story but I had to stand up for myself. Yes, i was distraught but i immersed myself in the love and happiness that i feel when im with my family so actually i took a sad situation and turned it into something fun im actually having a really good time this was a good move on my part to leave. Thank you for encouraging me to start a new post. I have found that I tend to spew my story under other peoples posts rather than starting my own. Perhaps starting my own post will attract others to read my story so I can get some advice. Have a wonderful night and thank you again

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Yes, Amber, we want to hear more. Did you and your husband have it out over Pricess brat, or did she speel the verbage. FWIW, part of disengaging is not responding or bringing up the jerks. Believe me, it does help keep the peace when I don't call Twits actions to my DH. DH is not obtuse, he knows, he hears, he sees. He just doesn't like confrontation and dealing with Twit's tears etc. DH always use to tell me to rise above it, not let her bother me, let it go, etc. Well, I have, I have disengaged. Now it is almost amusing to watch Twit spin her web and get caught in it. The disengaging means I not only have risen above it, but I don't do any of the nice things I use to do for Twit, it is like she doesn't exist to me. One of the best things ever is when Twit flies off the handle at me and I just look directly at her, laugh, and walk away. Drives her off the deep end every time and I find it amusing.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thank you. As I said, it rather surprised me as well. Last year I was in tears not understanding why Twit was so cruel to me. DH was telling me to be big about it and Twit was cashing in on my generosity. It has almost, and may still if he doesn't get his head on straight about dealing with her, cost me my marriage.

I found this board looking for some kind of help and started disengaging. It is not easy and the carp, unfortunately, keeps coming. But I actually feel peaceful about things this Christmas. I invested nothing in her so I expected nothing out of her except her usual drama. Though I admit, with the early frozen pizza alleged Christmas dinner and then practically pushing us out, that was a new low for her. But I found myself amused by her actions and lack of class. She should have saved us the gas by just calling up Christmas morning and telling us not to come.

But, as I said, Twit's kind don't quit. All her life she has made trouble for people, and I mean some pretty nasty stuff. She didn't like what happened and, as she herself says, she NEVER FORGETS, so I will always watch my back. I just hope she keeps exposing her nasty side to DH and that he eventually has his fill of her.

twopines's picture

I would have loved to see her face when she realized you hadn't bought anything. The adult brats need to live in reality.

bi's picture

you are awesome! i'm glad dh didn't give you grief over not buying gifts, as you already told him that was his job. it does amaze me how they don't take us seriously until they see the results of disengagement firsthand. sd got exactly what she deserved!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

bi - Oh, he already knew that I was through buying for Twit. When we went to Gatlinburg this summer I picked up some earrings for my DD, in the past I would do the same for Twit. Having detached she was SOL. I told him to get something for Twit....just to give him a heads up and I had told him earlier I was done buying nice thing for a Twit who gives me crap as gifts. "But, but Daddy its the Thought that counts", was her excuse. He didn't. So when we got back and I was wrapping the earrings to send to my DD, he says he is going to call Twit to tell her to come up and get hers. I looked at him and said: "Did you buy her something?" Then, too, the look on his face was worth millions. He didn't say anything as I had told him my feelings and how things were going to be regarding Twit before.

So he knew. That he choose to not get her anything also says a lot, and should have also said a lot to her as well. But, not my problem. Actually, she might want to have blamed me, but having put it out in the open, she has no one to blame but him for not getting anything AND, most of all, her own actions. And, trust me, she WILL take it ou on him, and she WILL try to drag me in so she doesn't have to face reality. Not that she would know reality if it hit her in the face.

bi's picture

i told fdh after the way sd, then 16, acted during Christmas '08 that i was done buying anything for her. i told him he was completely on his own. i was sick of the criticizing and thanklessness out of her. he was almost as bad. every time i bought her something, he would say "i don't know if sd will like that..." well fuck you then. pick something out yourself. i told him about him always saying that, too. suddenly his tune changed. he was sure that whatever i got her would be fine. LOL. too late, pal. i'm DONE. i told him i didn't care, i wasn't doing it again. the following Christmas we were shopping and went our seperate ways in the store. i told him if he wanted sd to have a stocking to get stuff to fill it with. i got my kids things. he "forgot". so he ran to the grocery store (amazing they were open) on Christmas morning to get her some candy for her stocking. she definitely noticed the difference in her stocking and my kids' stockings. she made a passive agressive comment about it. i just smiled. not my problem. nothing i ever do is good enough, so this is what you get. she hasn't had a birthday cake, stocking, easter basket (which she is now too old for) or anything else since then! }:)

funny how what we do is never good enough, but they surely do notice when they stop getting our not good enough gifts, don't they? Biggrin

emotionaly beat up's picture

What no photos. Her face would have been priceless.
You needed to share that Hallmark moment

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Sigh, I only have the memory of that moment. But it still is PRICELESS! It is embedded in my memory and a treasure.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh, and as for the frozen pizza early Christmas dinner and the boot out the door. Funny, that doesn't bother me at all. I mean, I noticed what was going on, but then I expect as much from Twit so I was not surprised by her actions. I am surprised that I didn't get upset about how terrible she was treating me/us etc. I know she was trying to get my goat, pull my chain etc., but I just didn't care. Well, there were a couple of times she was trying to get a rise out of me and I found myself just chuckling at her, and she didn't have a clue as to why I was so it disturbed her as it wasn't the reaction she was looking for.

As I said, I pity her, but I certainly am not going to do anything for her.

Guess as I said before, when your not invested in these monsters, their actions, rude as they are, don't hurt you. You just feel pity for them and in my opinion that falls far below hating, being hurt by, etc. Those emotions take effort and show you are still connected. Pity, it's the bottom of the barrel.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Rising - I need to be real about it. This Christmas I am above SD's nonsense and it has taken, as you know, a lot of tears and help to get here. I am human, I have no doubt she will get under my skin many more times and cause many more problems.

Sometimes I worry about the future. DH is starting to have some "issues", old age issues - perhaps the start of dementia. This has been going on for several years. I once talked to Twit about her father. Oh, she wanted to know all the details, but not a word about how hard it must be on me to deal with. So now she cries to us about how her hubby's father is having a hard time and all the things she does for him (no doubt she's watching the stuff) but pretty much ignores her own father. Though, even as Twit claims how much they do for her husband's father I believe that is also a crock of bull meant to make her look good as Twit is concerned with just Twit. She isn't going out of her way for anyone unless there is something in it for her. And with us, she knows that it is me with the money not her father so I guess she figures why bother that much especially now that I have her number.

FWIW, one of the problems DH has is understanding things. Sometimes, not often, he doesn't get what is being said and starts talking about something completely different. Now, this cognizant problem doesn't occur constantly, there are just occasional lapses for now, but sadly with time it will get worse. Doc thinks it is just aging right now, but we are watching. Twit could give a ratz arse. Funny, my reaction would be to spend time with him now rather than cry later when he doesn't know who you are.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

catmom - Yes,I am concerned about retaliation from her as she is vicious, cruel, malicious and just flat out evil. I can tell that she doesn't quite now how to go about "handling" me, getting to me because I have changed the rules over the last year. And you are right, this one she didn't expect at all.

Her trashy gifts were almost humorest as I bet she spent more on the wrapping paper and ribbon than what was inside the boxes. And, because I disengaged and stopped buying her nice gifts and getting trash from her, it totally didn't bother me when I opened her box. Maybe because I got the last laugh, so to speak, by not buying a gift for her at all.

She's probably pizzed right now because she gave me this junk that she could have gotten a quarter or dime for at a garage sale and feels gyped.....ha, ha, ha.

As I said, when you aren't invested in them, what they do doesn't, can't hurt you.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

catmom - Yes,I am concerned about retaliation from her as she is vicious, cruel, malicious and just flat out evil. I can tell that she doesn't quite now how to go about "handling" me, getting to me because I have changed the rules over the last year. And you are right, this one she didn't expect at all.

Her trashy gifts were almost humorest as I bet she spent more on the wrapping paper and ribbon than what was inside the boxes. And, because I disengaged and stopped buying her nice gifts and getting trash from her, it totally didn't bother me when I opened her box. Maybe because I got the last laugh, so to speak, by not buying a gift for her at all.

She's probably pizzed right now because she gave me this junk that she could have gotten a quarter or dime for at a garage sale and feels gyped.....ha, ha, ha.

As I said, when you aren't invested in them, what they do doesn't, can't hurt you.

Sickofthem's picture

((Well, after a few minutes DH looks at me and says to get Twits gifts out. I told him I didn't buy anything that he ws to do it as we discussed (this was said right in front of her). The look on Twit's face when she realized she was getting nothing for Christmas from me (as I do the gift buying) was priceless. DH, well, he looked pretty uncomfortable. ))

I don't know which is better, the fact that DH forgot that you told him you were no longer buying the twit gifts, or, imagining the look on twit's face. Either way-- LOVE it!!!!! Good for you!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

DH knew my stance. I think he was hoping that, in the spirit of Christmas, I would buy something for Twit. Surprise, surprise. As of yet, and we are now into Jan., he has said not one word about my not buying Twit anything, not one word. He was told and he knows it, so it is his problem, not mine.

But then I don't see him running to the stores looking for something to appease Twit with either. Hmmmm.

1.step.mom's picture

I'm new to this board, and like you I have come looking for some support as I start to detach myself from Skids that have taken all I could give for 12 years now and given nothing back. This year my middle SD is 18 and I got her some stocking stuffers and a gift from my son and my SS (as he is 12) and that was it. I went back and forth feeling guilty about doing it but this girl has put me through hell. ( DH didn't seem too concerned about doing the shopping for her himself either..he knows how's she has been)When she came over expecting and was obviously disappointed..she gave us her cheap gifts and left.( Truthfully I'm not materialistic but some show of thought from her would have been nice ) After that I knew I made the right decision and was glad I didn't let the pressure and emotions get the better of me. Reading what you did actually gave me a chuckle and encourages me to stand my ground. Though I hate to think anyone is made to feel like these kids have made me feel I am glad to know I am not alone.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Just because we become "family" so to speak, with these kids/adults doesn't mean we have to accept bad behavior we would not accept from others. I have long believed that, but in the interest of listening to DH and trying, always trying, I didn't put it into action.

Well, at my old age I really don't give a ratz arse if she likes me or not, which obviously she doesn't like me. Her loss not mine.

As I have said, she is really a piece of work and even DH walks around on egg shells around her. I know when the man I married is acting like a phony, and around Twit he acts like a phony, trying to be overly nice, etc. Kowtowing is what I call it and I find it disgusting but, hey, its up to him how he wants to treat Twit, just as long as he doesn't take her nasty actions towards him out on me. And I learned that with the support of the fine folk here on this board as well.

Amber Miller's picture

My DH acts like that when princess brat calls. He gets this phony voice with a phony laugh. He works so hard at keeping the conversation going. I don't know why a parent can't communicate with their adult brat in a normal fashion. It's really confusing. He puts on the biggest show I have ever seen when he's with her. When his sons calls he sounds happy but he uses his normal voice. He's so afraid of displeasing his daughter so he puts on his best behavior in an effort to please her. It's really disturbing. I can't imagine how I would feel if I had to act that way towards my kids. I gently asked one time about how he talks to her. I feel sorry for him as he said she's just hard to have a conversation with but he feels obligated to check in on her as she has a ton of emotional "issues". It's strange to me but I know how she is so I get it. Her life is a mess and he's trying to be supportive. So she's not good at conversation but she sure had no problem conversing about how much she can't stand me, etc.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

What Twit does for me for Christmas.....She, like we do, attends auctions. She buys the real cheap box lots, the ones that get thrown together because they are full of junk and sell for $1.00 for all. THAT is generally where she gets the carp she gives to us, that and at yard sales etc. I know this as a fact because I have been at the auctions she buys the carp and know what is in those boxes.

There is no thought in it. She just pulls a piece of carp out so it looks like she is giving something. Actually I believe she does spend a good amount of time picking out the garbage that she can't sell at her garage sales....she doesn't want to miss out on a quater or dime. Then she wraps it beautifully in a box with very nice paper and ribbons so it looks, to others, like she actually gives a hoot.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

cat - it is sad that a grown woman would do something like that to any one. But as I said, in the past I would feel hurt and bad this year I just didn't care, I expected it, was ready for it, and since I knew what she was going to do, I disengaged and did MY THING, which is no longer to buy nice gifts for Twits that treat me like trash and expect the very best. Twit is DH's problem. Oh, and I am sure she noted that I said HE was suppose to take care of it. Twit misses nothing when it comes to her. DH is gonna pay BIG TIME for that, you wait and see. She is also going to go after me, but heck, I'm ready for her. You see, I just don't care what she does but she isn't going to snot at me, get nasty, or start her other vicious shite.