How to politely keep my distance and discourage dh's intrusive "step"daughter?
Dh has a daughter he considers like a stepdaugher from a former relationship. Him and his ex gf dated from the time she was a baby up until age 5. They broke up and his "SD" recontacted him at age 15. In foster care. At 18 she became pregnant. Said she was giving the baby up for adoption-ended up keeping baby. She was supposed to make an appt but didn't and ended up losing her home (had something to do with her foster situation). Asked to stay with us, supposedly so she wouldn't lose her kid. Dh wanted to, gave me these reasons...her "needing to save money" even though she worked (how could she save money if she has to commute like that, and I told dh she could pick up more hours), she "wouldn't need to stay long" (first off I didn't buy that for a second and seconly even if it was true she wouldn't need to stay long then there wasn't much of a "need" to begin with, much less a dire one). I also let dh know that she should've followed through with giving the kid up for adoption if she wasn't prepared for motherhood. When the baby was still a newborn she wanted us to keep him overnight, which dh said no. When she wanted to stay with us, dh told me he told her we didn't have room. I found out that he'd messaged her and said that if it was just him he'd let her stay. Needless to say I felt very thrown under the bus.
She contacted me via messenger when she wanted to come see dh, saying she's his daughter (she's not by biology or even marriage) and can I let him know she's trying to get ahold of him? I felt very uncomfortable with her messaging me and it seemed pushy to me. I ignored the message even though I was able to see it, I didn't have to "accept" the message. She sent me some GIF for mothers day and tried to friend me. I blocked her.
This was AFTER her trying to stay with us so why in the WORLD would she try to contact and friend me? I detect something fishy but cannot pinpoint what.
Yesterday dh was looking for a ride to pick up a cheap dining room table. She pops on there and says she has one daddy waddy can have...dh said he already had the table picked up (after he posted) so she starts in on how she's gonna buy him one, AFTER poor dh is hinting that no we're ok but thank you!!
I get a sense that she doesn't know proper boundaries but idk how to explain it to dh, because he's overly attached to her and vice versa,
If she buys this at Christmas and drops it off, do I go in my room so she understands I am uncomfortable? Or stay and send her on her merry way after an hour?? I really don't want a relationship with her...trying to move in with us was a huge turnoff to wanting to get to know her on any level.