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How long will they be little princesses???

iloveit's picture

Ok so I have read some of your blogs on adult SD's and how they act as little princesses. I was just wondering...about how long did your DH treat them as innocent little baby girls? When did he get sick of the attitude and stop being guilty daddy? Did he ever come to you and take your side that they are treating you poorly/unfair?? I am just wondering how long it will be until my bf sees that they are not poor little infant girls but women who need to accept responsibility for their actions. I have begun disengaging and as difficult as it was for me to say I had to do that...I believe now that it was the right choice and it is getting a little easier for me. Share your stories with me on this I would love to hear your experiences...it is most helpful to me.

DaizyDuke's picture

you know what's funny... my DH does NOT treat SD12.5 like a princess and I'm really not sure why... not sure if it's because they had a rocky start to their relationship (BM was a one-nighter who conveniently got knocked up... DH didn't want anything to do with SD or BM at first but them came around and started seeing SD when she was like 2) SD is a nice girl, very smart and caring (which suprises me because the rest of her family are total trailer trash dead beats) so it seems like it would be very easy for DH to treat her like a princess but he doesn't.

Now, on the other hand we have SS11 (different BM) and HE is the Holy freeking Grail. Mr. Precious gets the royal treatment and I don't ever see that coming to an end.... ever. I really do think it's guilty daddy syndrome... DH's father left when he was just a baby and he never saw him again so even though DH grew to hate SS's BM, he tried to make it work (which lasted about 6 months of SS's life) so I think he is always trying to "make up for it" by treating SS like a freeking prince.

Freedom2005's picture

I agree, once a princess.... However, I was spoiled, then my Dad got remarried.... well, THAT was over.

My mom kicked me out when I turned 18 and I have had to reform myself. It is NOT easy. I have tried to explain this to my BF, that he is doing his daughter a disservice by treating her as if she were a glass figurine on a pedestal. But he will have none of it. Even his own 14 year old son will not scrub dishes so they get clean, it hurts his hands. :O

I agree, the role models these girls have suck today. Not to mention all the STUFF! My SD11 has a shirt that says, "I am Daddy's little Princess, I never get in trouble" :jawdrop:

I have come to accept it will not change. I tell my daughters I expect more of them because I want them to be independent women, and they smile huge smiles. My oldest LOVES the fact that she can do more than SD11.

good luck!

Eyes Wide Open's picture

How long will they be the little princess? To infinity and beyond!!!!!! SD24 is not only the little princess, she's the center of the universe. DH has a son, too, but SD24 is "it". NO matter what she does, it's wonderful. When she dropped out of high school, it was her brother's fault because she had no friends. What?????? When she was sleeping with every boy who would have her, it wasn't her fault, she was just acting out. When she was 16 and followed a convicted felon half way across the country, it was her mother's fault. When she FINALLY managed to make herself a meal ticket, with no education, no job, and no desire to have either, it was OK because it made her "Happy", and that's all DH ever wanted was for her to be happy. When BM's husband had enough of her and her baby daddy and put her out of the house, BM made sure she had a vehicle and a place to live because BM's husband was being unreasonable when he was expected to support them all and refused. It goes on and on and on. Ironically, all of SD's children are girls, so they are also "little Princesses". Sigh....the cycle continues.

no fairytale's picture

HAHAHA I would LOVE to know if it ever ends. My SD24 is a royal biatch and rotten and it is all because of my DH.

On Christmas Eve she really messed up in front of his entire family. He was so embarrassed and let her know it but once day 2 came around we are back to kissing her ass.

Now me and DH have not spoken for 3 days... and once again it is due to HIS daughter.

Happy New Year

iloveit's picture

Maux I have read your blogs and understand that you have been through quite a lot. Thank you for your perspective, you know how this goes and have a lot of experience. I am hoping that after awhile he won't be such a guilty daddy anymore. Perhaps I am dreaming but that's the hope. SD23 has actually been a lot more independent and has gotten her act together way more especially in the last 6 months or so. She's decided what she wants to do with her life (at least for now) and will be moving into her own place (hopefully) by the spring. She does not live with bf and I, both daughters live with their mother. As far as disengaging, I have begun that process and from what I have seen on here, the earlier the better and SAFER for me. I don't want to make any excuses for their behavior but bf and his wife/ex whatever she is are not officially divorced yet so I feel as if they are still trying to figure things out. It's taking forever but come spring (actual date has been decided by court) they will be officially divorced and then I will be celebrating. The latest comment by bf about SD20 was..."she's having a tough time growing up and doesn't want to." He feels sorry for her. Oh really???? Well tough shit you don't have a choice. I find it odd that any teenager/young adult is not in a hurry to grow up. I couldn't wait to have my own apartment!!! The only thing holding me back was money, so I got a job and got a teeny, tiny, miniscule apartment but who cares...it was MINE!! These kids who are not kids but adults WANT to live with daddy and cry about it. What is the matter with them??? I don't get it are they developmentally challenged or something??? If you can't live at home live with friends or for crying out loud GET A BOYFRIEND and LIFE of your own!