Home security
My SS, twenty, recently moved back in with us. We have a whole host of issues to deal with, but his lack of responsibility is directly impacting me feeling safe in my home. Not because he makes me feel unsafe directly, but because he secretly leaves doors unlocked and the house alarm off when he sneaks out at night. Tonight he left the house at 10pm, I know because I heard the alarm being disarmed. I went downstairs about an hour later to find the alarm unset and the back sliding door open (not just unlocked, but open). He loses his keys constantly! In his brain I guess this was a good solution. Does anyone have any suggestions on imposing the need for keeping the rest of the family safe, respecting our boundaries and being responsible for his keys?
A few other notes: he is a charming pathological liar and gets himself out of most situations by lying, storytelling, distorting the truth and telling people what they want to hear. He is unemployed, no car because he failed to register it and keep proper maintenance to pass smog and has what I feel are delusional job aspirations. According to DH I am not to judge those aspirations. He is delusional too if you ask me.
The next time he sneaks out
The next time he sneaks out lock all of the doors and turn on the alarm. When he returns he will be locked out and may even set off the alarm. This will wake up DH and he can let SS in. The next morning you say something like, "I got up to do ______. Can you believe we left the door open and the alarm off?"
DH sees himself in SS. If you judge SS's aspirations DH will see it as you judging him. DH has to deal with SS completely. That means he chauffeurs SS around, opens the door for SS in the middle of the night, and continually has keys made. If DH suggests you do anything for SS you will always have an excuse for not doing it. When DH speaks of SS, or SS starts his lying or storytelling, you will change the subject. Stop reminding DH of SS's birthdays, Christmas presents, etc. All you have to do is disengage and let DH do it all. If possible, separate all finances and only pay for 1/3 of the household expenses.
Personally, I have always
Personally, I have always considered security to be the most important thing in life, which is why I hired security guard companies houston from https://pivotalprotection.com/security-guards-houston a long time ago because that's the only way I can feel safe. Especially since my job is complicated and it takes me a long time so that the house remains unattended. If you need such services, I recommend it with confidence.
My niece used to do this when
My niece used to do this when she was living with my parents. She would crack a window with the intent of she and her friends visiting from overseas sneaking out to party with her State side friends. Unbeknownst to her, the alarm system tells specifically which door or window is open, my dad would closethe window, leave it unlocked, and activate the alarm. That made for lots of fun at night when the alarm was set and my niece would open the window.
Technology can be fun during the teen sneak out years. I never did sneak out, but I did sneak GF's in though not until I was in my 20s and was home from school.
I would make it a point every
I would make it a point every night to do a double check walk through before you fall asleep and lock all the doors and windows and reset the alarm. And I'd never say anything about it.
Close all the doors, windows,
Close all the doors, windows, reset the alarm and go back to bed. Say nothing. Let the Skid jar your DH awake when he attempts to get back inside. And do it every single night.