...He's not a baby anymore- SS is a grown mid-20s married man.
…He’s not a baby anymore- SS is a grown mid-20s married man.
So, here we sit with this once beautiful vintage vehicle in our backyard for the past 9 years. Each morning I wake up and see that it is rotting away, left abandoned. It was in full working order and we paid for half of this fancy vehicle for adult SS whom has had a very cushy life since I have been in the picture (we on the other hand have NOT and have sacrificed quite a bit to give him a better situation than ourselves- vintage vehicle at 16? No problem! School trip to Europe? OF COURSE, etc.) Now we’re moving. And every year I ask what’s the plan? And every year there is no plan from SS and my DH defends him as if he was a small child. WHEN SS was a younger kid I was much more lenient with this kind of stuff but now he’s not 16 or 17 anymore and he’s married. TIME TO COME UP WITH A PLAN. So, I told DH- it’s time, talk to him and figure this one out. So, DH lightly brings up the topic to SS who immediately falls into victim-mode feeling slighted by the suggestion of having to take care of his things as an adult. Couple weeks go by and I bring it back to DH – it’s TIME. We are flippin’ moving OUT of the house and we have NO where to store or take this vehicle. DH gets defensive, “All in due time. Poor guy. He’s down on his luck and this is just going to be another stress for the poor boy.” I get quiet and angry inside. DH comes back after 20 minutes and says, “I am sorry I barked at you.” I tell him, you didn’t actually yell at me BUT you continue to put this adult male in a child-like position where he is some sort of “victim” and I am the aggressor. He needs to be responsible for these things especially gifts that I unfortunately contributed to financially to. I told DH, “You enable this baby behavior by an adult 2x the size of me and protect him from being responsible for his own terrible decision making. The responsible and reasonable thing to do at this point is for you two to step up and get this vehicle OUT of the backyard.” At first it made me feel like I was being a real bully asking for my adult SS to be responsible/accountable for his own vehicle that lays rotting in our backyard for over a decade and then my father-in-law stepped in and said, “Yes. Do this- DW has been way too patient. Figure this stuff out now.”
Love advice on next steps or your stories over indulgenct SKIDs who turn into adults and cause problems for you because they are not accountable or responsible for their things, etc.