He's ALWAYS Sorry
That is what I told the counselor last week. And I am sick and tired of it.
Counselor said that H was sorry and upset immediately after I left..repentant. That he leveled with her about T totally and she told him to tell me about it, ALL of it. Hence the letter I received from him.
I have not seen him or answered his calls since that last sessin together.
H's letter explains why T's Mother, and siblings have nothing to do with her. It also explains why her hubby's navy buddy's wife doesn't want her around etc. (though this was not in H's letter; it was easy to put 2 and 2 together).
Let me just put it like this, Twit, the little coniver, has a history of all sorts of things, being mean to people, makeing accusations as she did to H about the old man that lived on her street....how he was making passes at her. Heck, the guy was in his 90's! That in itself was weird because she would make these accusations and then invite the guy over for a holiday or something. BUT, that was because she had her eye on his property. She has this thing about zeroing in on older people hoping to get something she wants out of this. With that old man he surprised her, he left EVERYTHING to his children, whom T knew nothing about! She was figuring that she was the only one he had and would get the house, etc. SURPRISE!
Some of you may remember about my writing how Twit was concerned about things as what her boss thought about her hair, etc. I remember calling her out ans asking her why she thought it was any of his business. Her husband made her quit that job.
Actually, I am totally drained by this latest episode and told counselor so. I need time to thing, breathe and get my thoughts etc. clear.
He asked her to ask me for another chance and I exploded at the counselor asking just how many chances and how many times I have been accused should I take? I apoligized for blowing up at her, which she understood.
Oh, counselor was also
Oh, counselor was also surprised by his attack on me that day.
Hold firm
SDM, You have gone through stuff that would be a very bad dream for many of us. This whole thing reminds me of the movie that came out a long time ago - 'The Bad Seed'. I am sure, considering what you've gone through not only with T. but with DH as well, that the counselor fully understood why you exploded. You've given more than enough, been more than patient and understanding. It is definitely time to "think, breathe and get my thoughts etc. clear." It's time for you now. Take care and (((BIG HUGS)))
My DD dand her family are
My DD dand her family are coming in tomorrow for a visit. I am sooo glad.
My BFF, the profiler, told me, when I told her about the latest incident, that she warned me something was wrong with Twit Big time. And that I should have no doubt that Twit would do something if she thought there was something in it for her.
She said that H as afraid of Twit, not because of what she would do to him, but that everyone would find out what she was and is. Once again she told me that there is no way I could ever have a relationship with someone who lies, cheats, steals, is cruel and always looking for a way to get a dig in. Dealing with T, as H would like, would only be a waste of my time and lead to more heart ache.
She also said that it would not be long until the "newly weds" would throw her off because of the demands she makes on her "babie". She gives that marriage about 5 years unless they move FAR, FAR away. T looks at people, like her father and "babies" as property not individuals. Interesting point of view
I missed something
and I went back and read a couple of your other posts. What letter?
You got a letter before or after the invite to go to brunch? Just curious about the content and the timing.
P.S. My DH is also always sorry. Based on how things play out, it's just a way to drop the subject but not actually do anything differently.
i cancelled the brunch with
i cancelled the brunch with him. On that Monday I got a letter from him all about Twit and what she is etc., and how sorry he is etc.
Because of the nature of details, I do not want to disclose it. Let's just say, as Sandye put it, the movie "The Bad Seed" comes to mind in some ways.
Thanks, now I'm caught up
I just don't see how one letter with an apology is gonna fix years of lax parenting and lashing out at you (especially in the recent counseling session).
It is not. H has to figure
It is not. H has to figure out that actions speak louder than words.
Forgive me if I am down because of all this. Hopefully DD her hubby and my GK''s will perk me up.
Your DH is never going to
Your DH is never going to stop and see his child for what she is. He thinks that if he convinces enough people to see his child the way he does it will make her a normal person, but that's never going to happen.
I don't know what exactly the counseling is doing for you both, but it sounds like even when he has a "breakthrough" it's not enough.
Hi Advice - We seemed to e
Hi Advice - We seemed to e making good progress for a good while, and then BOOM!
One thing I know he got upset about was when he was talking to counselor about Drunkie, how worried he is, etc. She told him, point blank, that Drunkie was lost a long time ago when his mother, the T, enabled him along his ways. There was and is nothing he could have done as she has far more influence on him and likes it that way.
IMHO it is only a matter of time until Fatso has some serious health problems. There too she enables him with food, etc. because it keeps him tied to her.
Sad to hear you are still going through this mess.
Take a break from it all. Go do some things you want to do. See some shows, take a cruise, spend more time with your grandkids. Do you live near them? If not then why not...sell that house and go live near them so you can bake cookies and spoil them on a daily basis. You need some time and distance from anything to do with this mess. It cannot be fixed. Your Dh needs to never bring it up to you again. Or just go his own way back to T town. Find what brings you joy and happiness and peace. Do those things each day. I hear Iceland is lovely and very safe to travel alone. You got this...leave it all in the dust of your rear view mirror.
^Agree. Sometimes it's
^Agree. Sometimes it's better just to let it go for awhile and look at the dynamic from a distance. It sounds like you've had much more peace while living separate from DH.
Your DH is living this dysfunctional life so long
He is think dysfunctional is normal. That your the problem because you don’t embrace that life. He never going to change. He works on trying to be somewhat normal, but dysfunctional wins out in the end. I don’t know how you deal with it, or if you can deal with it
Yes. I am the only one that
Yes. I am the only one that questions T when she comes out with some outlandish carp. Every one else seems to go along with what she says no matter how bizzaro. Example, if T were to say the sky was chartreuse, no one would question her as bizzare as that is. And, in the past when I would ask H about what she said he would back her up by saying: Well, that's what she says. As though it was factual. If I were to say something like, the sky looks blue to me, she would go off all angry and crying and well, just goofy claiming I was picking on her, calling her a liar etc., and everyone would run to her defense. BIZZARO! You cannot believe the things she says that are absurd, lies and delusional and everyone acts like it is normal.
Right now DD and her husband
Right now DD and her husband are talking to me about selling the house and moving in with them. They have more than enough room for me. She says the same thing....it will always be the same nothing is going to change.
She says that if I decide to stay with H (only if he straighten's out his T problem), he is welcome too. Their house is big enough to hold the two of us without being underfoot. BUT, she said that if he starts up again, she will show him the door!
DD's hubby says that if I want to sell the house and move in with them, he will take care of all of that for me. They both agree I am under a lot of stress. DD says I tried by moving thousands of miles away from the cretin and it just isn't working.
That this T changing her phone numbers is not the end. She is just playing a game, trying to make H feel bad so he falls back in line. After all, he was becoming free of her web.
Lot to think about and great to be able to write out my thoughts, feelings etc. here while I sort through all this.