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He saw the light!

WaffleZone's picture

I'll have to give DH some credit, he's standing firm on making SD refinance the car before he lets her take it again. He even had her come to the house and clean it up. BUT! Without talking to me about it, DH offered to sign the title of his older truck to SD. I was pretty pissed about the offer because we still use that truck and the fact that he didn't discuss it with me. When he offered it to SD, she got pissed because she wants the car. That's when he saw the light! This was this pastTuesday.

Since then, he has told me several times how sorry he is that he didn't listen to me. I take no comfort in this. It's been a long 4 years of feeling disrespected, lied to, and played. It has taken a real toll on our marriage. Him saying sorry to me seems so empty because he really doesn't know how much the disrespect and him being on the fence with every issue only to side with SD on everything has caused our marriage to fail.

This morning he started another argument, got pissed, and left. I went to work. He thinks that since he said, "I'm sorry," that we just need to pick up where we left off 4 years ago. He's upset because our intimacy is no longer there. What does he expect? He's also accusing me of not communicating how I felt throughout these years. Excuse me? Why do you think we fought so much? I feel like he is taking his anger for SD out on me. I don't know but I'm getting tired of all the stress and nonsense.

Orange County Ca's picture

Do you want to save the marriage? He has a point.

If its over just leave, why drag it out and then leave.

WaffleZone's picture

I'm not at the point yet of just walking away. I don't think it's realistic of him to expect me to just forget about the last four years either. I would like to talk it out but he can't do it. He gets mad, starts yelling, and leaves. I feel we need to talk this out like reasonable adults so we can move on.

Orange County Ca's picture

Go to counseling alone if need be. S/he can give you pointers and husband just might get curious. Hint that you're getting advise on how to find new friends in your life.

WaffleZone's picture

I think I will go. I need to. Everybody in my life has their own problems to deal with. I feel somewhat ashamed of my situation and feel so alone.

I need to talk to somebody.

WaffleZone's picture

Cat, you are about spot on.

He avoids confrontation from anybody, but me. Not all, but most of our discussions end up with him yelling at me. I remain calm, which he sees as me being coy or cocky. Neither is my intent, I'm trying to remain calm to resolve an issue.

However, last Saturday when he showed up at the house with SD and came at me with both barrels blazing, trying his best to start a fight while SD was here, I told him I was happy he finally found his balls. SD was outside at the time and not within earshot. By this point, I had taken enough of his badgering but I didn't think it was an appropriate time to start such a fight with SD being here. It was almost as if he was dead set on fighting with me to prove his loyalty to SD. Like he wanted us to fight in front of her.

Then SD blew up on him Tuesday.

Since Tuesday, he's been sorry and we've been able to talk about things other than SD. It was nice. Until this morning when out of the blue he started an argument with me.

I've brought up counseling before and he didn't want to go. I'll bring it up again when the time is appropriate.

Thank you all for just letting me get this out!