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Have any of you ever felt afraid of SKs?

Bethany's picture

In a big nutshell...36 year old SD has been mooching off us since she was 18. Blew through 75,000 left to her by her uncle. She is the one who is now planning on getting pregnant with an unemployed man who ALREADY has one child (about 4 or 5) from one woman and ANOTHER woman JUST gave birth to one in ealry February! SD was pregnant in March, but lost the baby. BUT, they are actively trying. We have bailed her out every time...and, I told DH this is it! I will walk if he bails her and this lazy boyfriend---even if another baby comes. It's NOT our responsibility. She has an 11 year old who has been through too many losses.

In any event, he told his daughter we will no longer pay her way. She is furious. I lock all the doors at night because she is raging at me. I have always been blamed for every bad choice she has made. Blamed ME for having the first baby! She expected we'd pay for everything. She lived here for 6 months, then moved out, but always came to DH for money to pay the bills.

I fear her as she did physically attack me at age 18. And, now with the final ultimatum, I am fearful she will retaliate. Maybe I watch too many Forensic Files!

AlreadyGone's picture

If she leaves messages or notes, (emails, etc.) save it all, and go get a restraining order on her. If she shows up raging, call 911. Make sure you keep copies of police reports. These SK's can get pretty nasty when the bios finally start using the word, NO! Wink

sammigirl's picture

Follow AlreadyGone's advice. You can take all documentation, including Police reports to a Victim Advocate in your area; they will assist you in filing a restraining or protective order, no cost.

It works, I did it. I am not and never have been afraid of my DH or Skids; but I put a stop to their bullying a year ago. It was something I did not plan, it just came to a head one afternoon and I stepped up. I made believers out of all of them, including DH, when Law Enforcement showed up to escort him to SD's house, with protective order in hand. I even surprised myself; I never dreamed I would feel strong enough to do it.

I never mentioned it again, after everything was peaceful; but I WILL do it again if necessary.

It is normally approximately a 24 hr./36 hr. process, by the time a Judge signs off on the order. I also obtained a property possession order and froze all of our bank accounts. I just made sure I had withdrawn what I needed first.

Your SD sounds like you need to begin documenting for your safety. Don't tell anyone you are doing it, just do it; that's what I did.

notasm3's picture

I don't think I am actually afraid of SS30. I don't worry that he will come and try to do something awful to me or mine.

But I also know that my censor with him is totally gone. I will not tiptoe around him so as not to provoke one of his rages. So I've just written him off.

SS has been known to be extremely violent when drunk and he perceives a "slight". It would only be a matter of time before I would piss him off. If he ever touched me his life would be so OVER.

I do not sit around worrying that I will be attacked by a bear. But I am prudent enough not to get up close and personal with a wild animal like a bear.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I've never been physically afraid of SDs, but there was a point where I cought a glimpse of YSD's mental illness, realized how ill-equipped DH & I were to deal with it, and felt frightened for the future.

If your intuition and gut are telling you to beware, then you should. Many of us dealing with dysfunction in step life feel the stress of waiting for the other shoe to drop, and several have been attacked/beaten/injured by a skid. Things generally get worse before they get better when you draw a boundary, so you're right to be concerned. Please be careful.

florencek's picture

I admit I have feared my SC before. My oldest ss has shown violence in the past and my youngest ss is so introverted his mental state sometimes frightens me. I don't think you are over reacting. Be cautious.

florencek's picture

I admit I have feared my SC before. My oldest ss has shown violence in the past and my youngest ss is so introverted his mental state sometimes frightens me. I don't think you are over reacting. Be cautious.

ItsGrowingOld's picture

No, I don't fear DH's adult daughters. But, I do know they are capable of causing hell in peoples lives and damaging property. I'm lucky that they moved over 1,400 miles away.

DH's daughters were raised by a BM that does not take responsibility for anything, she is always a vicitim, nothing is ever her fault, and men are just supposed to pay and shut up. His daughters are basically following in BM's footsteps.

DH stopped opening his wallet a few years ago and they pretty much stopped having a relationship with him. **shrugs**

Your SD sounds crazy. Any time you can get away from a crazy person, do it! Those were words of advice from DH's marriage counselor in 2000. Crazy people cause way to much stress and drama and who in the heck needs it!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

OP - I am quite scared of my Twit and have been for years. It is not a comfortable feeling, I can tell you.

Do keep a record of any calls, threats, harassment etc. If she comes by raging (and I had my Twit do this and did call 911 but she took off before they showed up).

It got so bad I threw my DH out, we went to counseling and reconciled but he still had/has difficulties for a LONG time. I final told him I was moving, I couldn't live near this cretin and feel safe, and he could get his head out of his butt regarding her, or he could stay behind and live with her.

Well, he chose the former rather than the latter. We are doing the paperwork on a home many, many hundreds of miles away from Twit and I can't wait to get away from her and her manipulations.

Stepdrama11's picture

I am physically afraid of my SKs. Fortunately they live far away and DH has agreed that they are not allowed in the house. not what I signed up for, that's for sure.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You are lucky they are far away. Twit has already gotten physical with me once when she tried to knock me over. That, and her craziness scare the begesus out of me.

Fortunately, we will soon be gone from this area as Twit is way too close for comfort (about 9 miles away). I can't wait.