Hard time keeping quiet
Forums:
I'm having a hard time not unblocking the steps from my phone and facebook and going off on them! Since DH and SS talk he's now texting DH random things. This morning he sent DH a picture of hot wheel star wars (dh collects them) asking if DH wanted SS to get them for him :? Weird and random thing to text but I worried he would show up at our house today.
Then DH posted really nice pictures of my son in uniform at his graduation and while everyone else is posting Nice stuff they are putting laughting faces on them. I'm about ready yo unblock them so they can be spammed with all the pictures and well wishes from everyone! I'm so tired of their crap!
Breathe and realize less
Breathe and realize less contact is for your own sanity, not their's. If there's ever a moment not to not cut off your nose to spite your face, this is it.
No, disengaged SM needs to
No, disengaged SM needs to stay disengaged. You can't give them the satisfaction of letting them know they 'got' to you.
Delete their crap and then block them on DH's FB. Tell DH why you did and that he can unblock them later if he wants. I'm sure he had no idea they would be so childish. Big *ss babies, being rotten because they're jealous.
Congrats to your graduated son.
You are blocked on your phone
You are blocked on your phone and FB. If your SS is blocked, you shouldn't even see his stuff on your FB. I guess I don't understand.
I don't read DH's texts on his phone and I don't have access to his FB password; therefore I don't see his FB, unless it comes across my FB. I have SD56 and SGD31 blocked from my FB; therefore, I don't see any notices they may send to DH on FB.
I wouldn't read any of it and ignore SS. It used to bother me when DH's phone would beep with a text and he never told me who it was texting; of course SD56 or SGD31 were texting, but I didn't ask nor did DH tell me.
If I hear their names, I see red. But as long as I never see, hear, or read anything about them, I'm a happy person.
It took me a long time to be completely disengaged and not caring; but I am there. I know I will have to deal with SD and SGD in the future, if not for anything but an emergency; I believe it will be much easier for me, because they are more and more strangers and completely out of my life.
Stay disengaged as twoviewpoints post reads.
Yep.. all of the above! You
Yep.. all of the above!
You can not control what they think, feel or post. You can't control whether your DH wants to have a relationship with his kids.
You CAN control whether you allow yourself to stick yourself in the eye with their virtual forks. You can also control your reactions.
IMHO, the kids are immature and jealous. Maybe some of it's justified and maybe some of it is they are just selfish and don't want to share their dad. First kids can feel threatened and jealous of kids that came later. Sometimes later kids even in "in tact" families get better "stuff" because their parents are in a better place financially later in life. Sibling rivalry is not new, but because you are not related to them, you don't have that unconditional love that their dad does that allows for him to forgive these kinds of things.
Best approach is to ignore on your end. Don't torture yourself by checking your DH's facebook etc.. there is nothing you can do to control how they feel or act and it is only going to generate resentment with your husband.
I never blocked SS30 on FB,
I never blocked SS30 on FB, but he is not my friend. I just got a friend request from him - but I am ignoring it. He posts all sorts of political crap that is off the wall. I do not want that on my FB page.
Especially in today's world I hide virtually all political posts - from both sides of the aisle.
OSD blocked me the minute I
OSD blocked me the minute I left her house after finally confronting her on her crap. Silly narc, that's by far the nicest thing she's ever done for me. No contact is BLISS, I tell ya.
I've since blocked both skids and a bunch of their extended friends and family. The skids are no longer relevant to me, and they're referredto as fb FRIENDS for a reason.
Tighten your circle, and put out the trash.
It can be sooo tempting to
It can be sooo tempting to check to see what the steps are doing but all it will do is make you upset. Stay unplugged from them and don't worry about what they do or don't do to your DH.
I know it can be difficult, but believe me, for sanity's sake it is the way to go.
Keep them blocked and don't
Keep them blocked and don't look at your dh phone messages and do not go into HIS fb and see what they are doing. If you unblock them and go off on them, they will ramp up their crappy behavior.
DH was obviously very proud
DH was obviously very proud of your son's accomplishment. Skids are jealous and are showing their nastiness to all who can see. I'm sure DH is not pleased w/them right now. Stay disengaged, don't waste your breath on those air pirates.
Your post affirms that I made the right choice by deleting my FB acct.
Congratulations on raising an accomplished young man.
I agree with this. They are
I agree with this. They are jealous that your DH is proud of your son and showing him off. You don't need to "go off" on them to prove to them that they are disgusting. They wouldn't believe you anyway. But you should get satisfaction from the fact that anyone who saw their laughing faces on your son's photo probably feels equally annoyed at them.
Except they have those exact
Except they have those exact same photos with DH. He attends all their graduations too.
Yes, step away and take a
Yes, step away and take a deep breath. You won this one. Your df is proud of your ds and he posted a picture, what pride. SS is trying win his df over with hot wheels. The laughing faces could also be taken as symbols of happiness and not making fun. You are giving to much power of your emotions to skids. Only you can stop the effect they are having on you. Disengage!
I have never regretted
I have never regretted keeping quiet. Though it is very difficult for me to do. Rather than engage in a FB war just let the trash do what trash does and stay above the land fill.
Rags is correct! Keeping
Rags is correct!
Keeping quiet accomplishes at least two things: (1) You will never regret the fact that you didn't engage in this word war. (2) You have won by letting them wonder what is going on; you are above it all.
My SD56 and SGD31 tried to engage in an e-mail war with me, then a FB war. I ignored all social media. Then it was driving my SD crazy (she lives less than one block), because she didn't know what was going on in my life. Almost 2 years ago, SD56 couldn't stand it any longer and wrote me a 2 page hate email, mostly about what an unhappy person I was, blah, blah, blah. I printed it out and let DH read it, due to the statements that she swore was true, and DH knew different.
Being quiet is a weapon that can be used in various ways. }:) I love the silence and now she stays away from me totally. I took the email to a Victim Advocate and they told me I could file a restraining order against SD. I told DH; "I will not lower myself to respond to this email." "I WILL file a restraining order against SD, if she comes near me, including our home, while I am here, or continues to communicate with me." DH must have told her about the restraining order, and for SD to leave me alone, haven't seen or heard from her.
So try to stay silent; it is worth it. If I end up in Court over an order, at least I have not put anything in writing or said anything that can be used against me. I will NEVER have words with my SD she is not worth it. Then you never know when you may need to communicate with a person, for whatever reason, and you have nothing to be sorry for.