I am making an exit plan but cannot move forward until i have a job again. Usually I start work in the spring and work until the snow comes....and then I work when I'm called during the winter. Covid had competely stopped my returning to work fulltime. 

My SS who is in his 40's lives here with us because he came to learn to drive truck and then H and him decided to run the business together, although H has never put SS on anything to show that he is a partner. He says that he will leave the business to SS when he passes- and leave everything else to SD. I care for my SS- for awhile it was difficult when SD lived here as well because she constantly causing so many issues and SD had SS believing that I was the 'terrible' one for quite awhile until she showed her true colours and started treating SS (her brother) almost as bad as she was treating me. He brought his daughters here around xmas time for a visit (they live 15 hrs away)and SD wouldnt even look at them - they tried a few times to talk to her but she would just ignore them or pretend to be on the phone. SD became very jealous of her brother because she found out that my H was leaving him stuff in the will. SD believes that EVERYTHING should be hers only. She tries to get her brother (my SS) to be 'a family' when she needs him to do something for her, like fix her truck or detail it for her etc. My SS and I have a decent relationship but he knows how difficult its been for me here and he tries to help, but then the wrath of my H and SD come down on him. So, i try to keep him out of things as much as I can. 

My H would always go to my SD and SS and talk s**t about me but finally my SS said he didn't want to hear anymore and told his dad to leave him out of it. My SS says that he loves me and that he hates to see how I am treated and hopes I can leave soon. He says I'll be happier away from here.

My H works in the shop when he wants ( he has a business here based out of the property ) so thats what he does. Both my SS and I work drive truck for his business. H and SS do all the servicing of the trucks and maintence on them plus they also do that for other trucking companys ( friends) My SS does the majority of the work though to be honest- very hard working guy.  

H says he's leaving something but hasn't actually change his will. All I asked for was that if he were to pass that I not be immediately evicted from my home which will go to SD. I know that he won't even be 'cold' before she will have the cops here to remove me post haste. I should be allowed to stay in my home for a reasonable amount of time. But when I bring the subject up he calls me names like 'greedy' and goldigger' So, I stopped asking. SD brings up the will all the time - and that eveything should be put in her name in case he FINALLY comes to his senses and divorces me then I'm entitled to nothing. For all I know he has done that. He lies by omission. I was at one time put on a life insurance policy but I share that with SD....and he has threatened numerous times to remove me and leave it all to SD. So, my bet is on that I will recieve nothing but a very fast eviction. 

And yes he does pay me like an employee. But work here is slow starting with the covid pandemic. I have been applying everywhere - will even relocate far away from here. Would actually prefer to move far from here, then I wouldn't be sucked back into this vortex which feels like living in the twilight zone or a insane asylum that's run by the patients - both analogies apply here. Or maybe this IS hell and and I died and didn't know it???? 

Hi again 

so my gym equipment is located downstairs in the 'family room' so there's no door for a lock. I cannot just stop doing everything I do because H gets very angry when things aren't done. My name is not on the house, it is solely his. He had it when we met. 
And togs, I'm 49. Lol 
 

We have been married almost 2 years but together for 7. And I signed a prenup before we got married because he said if I didn't then I had to move out that moment. 

Today, my H told me that I had to fix this thing with SD because he thinks its stupid. I said 'my boundry is stupid? Me protecting myself against someone who constantly disrespects me and causes chaos and drama in my marriage...is stupid? ' He said that Im stupid and my boundry is stupid. I said 'I wouldn't feel the need to protect myself against her by disengaging if he would've stood up for me at all' Then its went down hill from there....name calling and belittling as usual. He is also saying that I stepped over the line by taking my friend to her new job the other day. He honestly believes that I only did it to be spiteful and vinditive to him.....who thinks like that? I'm not a spiteful vindictive person....never have been. When H is happy with me (which is rare these days) he also says that I'm to nice and that I need to be more of a b***h or ppl walk all over me. He says that he didnt tell me about him leaving for 2 days because we weren't talking (and by that he means that he was punishing me again for not giving into SD demands and was giving me the silent treatment) and if we weren't talking why would he tell me anything. But then proceeded to tell me that he will be driving his friend to a city a few hrs away today as well and that if I can do that then he can too, and it better not upset me. Doesn't that seem spiteful???? Honestly I dont mind that he do that...if that is what he's doing. I just find it so coincidental and revengy, yeah? 

Loverofreailty, my life and situation are not made up in anyway.....I truly wish they were. Truly. But, this is my reality. H says things like this on a constant loop....sometimes when he talking at me I try and say 'whatever youre going to say, try saying the opposite of that' or I say 'what did saying that (whatever mean thing) accomplish??'  My H has no concept that he is abusive in any way, even when our pastor told him that he was treating me badly he never heard that at all. But, we stopped going to that church right after. My H says all this drama is my fault with SD - regardless that when H is happy with me he acknowledges that she is horrible to me. He says that she has changed ( I highly doubt that ) so when I asked for an apology from her to start the 'healing' process...she said 'I have nothing to apologize for, when is SM going to apologize to me??' What???? And they believe that I SHOULD apologize to her. When I ask what exactly am I apologizing for, no one has an answer. But, I'm told that if I just apologize that we can be a family. I tried that when she moved back in the house and was treated like I was invisible, she lied about where I was at times to cause problems (even when I was at work and could proof that that's where I was) she repeatedly 'whispered' horrible negative things about me in my H's ear. She called 'family' meeting and DEMANDED that H get a divorce because she was uncomfortable with me living here.  I had to clean up after her, and she would complain when I didn't and say 'what's the big f*****g deal -you have to clean the house anyway, don't you? My H never seems to have my back. So, maybe if I was reading these posts and had never lived through it, maybe I would wonder if they were 'made up' but sadly they are not. I could literally write a book on stuff and crap that I have not only lived through but tolerated because my H kept telling me that if I just waited alittle longer than he would treat me better, treat me nicer. I know that I tolerated alot more than other ppl would have....and that's on me totally. But, I am by nature an optimist and had always hoped for a happier tomorrow and marriage. Everyone says just leave.....but I have no real money of my own ( my savings always seems to get deleted so fast ) and I have no job. I have applied everywhere......no exaggeration. I applied for jobs that are barely minium wage and cannot get a job. I'm stressed and my anxiety through the roof. Before this relationship I had never known the' silent treament' or the undermining of my self esteem - I had never lived like that. I never knew what a naricisst was or bi polar disorder and what a terrible condtion it was to have both. ( H has never been diagnosed either but he shows all symtoms) I feel like I was lied to for so long, that if I just was better and tried harder and accepted eveything he would love me and treat me with respect and alittle kindness. I didn't know that he told SD that he would take care of her forever and not take care of his wife that he married in the eyes of God (whom he says he believes in)  And I am heartbroken by that knowledge...even today as I write this I am heart broken and wonder what I didn't do right.  Am I so lovable? Am I not worth respect...what is wrong with me. Why am I heartbroken and defeated and H is out enjoying his day...not heart broken like I am. Do you know how horrible it is to know that your very presence makes no difference to the person who promised to love, honour and cherish you to death do you part? I am so insignificant to him. Thats heart breaking.
I know that you didnt mean anything offensive to me, but this is my real life. 

I signed a prenup that cleary states that if we are to separate regardless of the why I have no right to have him thrown out of HIS house on any basis. I am allowed to stay here in the event of separation or pending divorce for 2 weeks or as long as my H deems appropriate and then I have to vacate the premises. WHILE I remain in this house I WILL pay what is set inthe prenup or I have to leave.

And before anyone asks why did I sign? He took me to his friend (who is a lawyer and drew up the prenup) who got a lawyer friend of his to go over the prenup with me, because it wouldnt have been legal and binding without my own counsel. My counsel went over with me and said 'personally I wouldnt sign this because it doesn't cover you at all, there is not one provision for you in here. It's all for him. Do you understand that?' I said that I did but told him that on the way to see my counsel my H told me that if I didn't sign this today that I had to move out that day. Immediate!! I was also not to tell my counsel that he said that.I did share it with him anyway even though I wasn't sure that my H wouldnt find out.He never did, as far as I know.  He said that constitutes duress- and said I didn't have to sign and shouldn't sign it. But, I was so scared what would happen and how my H would react that I signed it.Then we went out for dinner with his friend the lawyer who drew up the prenup and they joked about how it was an ironclad prenup. So, I am scared that if I was to try to keep him out of the house I would lose because of signed prenup. And I would be scared what would happen to me after cause he would be so angry. 

Loverofreality,

Thank you for saying all that to me. Although it made me cry, I only cried because they were kind words. So, thank you. One day when I am finally free of this - I pray that it will be the best decision I ever made and I will be happy and enjoying my life. I took off my wedding ring today and put it away- I've never done that before. I know this will be extremely difficult because I imagine this is how to feels to be addicted to something that you know is slowly killing you and having to choose to walk away from it. I am unbelieveably scared and unsure of what life will bring, but I pray that eventually it will be glorious. That I will finally be able to breathe without this weight around me. My marriage is ending! I have to accept that. It's not SD fault completely - my H allowed all this to happen and loved watching it destroy me. So, I have to keep to my exit paln and forge ahead, yeah?

I won't make a scene, big or small. I will be safe and do things safely.

My savings get depleted fast because I have to pay bills here, buy all groceries and and anything I may need.( cell phone or personal things) My job is mostly seasonal ( April - Oct/Nov) H doesn''t actually take my money but since he doesn't have online banking I have to be the one to purchase things he needs. example: if he needs a new grill for his rat rod car(s) or he needs to buy anything that he finds on amazon, auctions, or buy and sell sites  like headlights, a truck he can salvage for parts etc. I know some of you, probably most of you would never allow that to happen and tell him no, but if I say no the wrath of his anger is to much for me. Or he will quilt me into it - by saying that I'm being selfish and greedy or the dreaded silent treatments starts again. Sometimes he pays me back for it - but not usually. If I question him about repayment then again I'm 'selfish'  I have asked him to use SD to purchase things and although I'm not 100% sure -I think she's said no to him. I end up doing it because I just want some peace and harmony here. So, my savings is pretty much depleted as of now.  I think he knows by keeping me with little to no money I can't leave and start over.  I've been reading alot about narcissits, controlling partners, sociopaths, mental and emotional abuse. H exhibits almost all of these traits, and when he knows roughly that I'm pretty close to broke (remember that I work for his business so he knows how much I am paid) the threats of being removed from the home become more frequent. And so, start the cycle of anxiety, terrible migraines, loss of sleep for me. 

Thank you to ALL of you with your replies and advice. I will be contacting lawyers tuesday(it's a hoilday wekend here) to see if anyone can look into prenup and to give me an idea what my rights are.

Olivia, my SS could never help me because he knows that it would anger my H. When my H is threatened or precieves a threat from someone he will make them pay and pay dearly. H has completely destroyed ppl by sueing them, destroyed ppl reputations with lies and deceit. He feels no remorse for doing these things because he believes that he is above everyone and normal rules don't apply to him .I have witnessed these encounters first hand. So, I would never ask my SS for anything or put him in a terrible situation.  I have come to the realization that my H has NPD - from everything I've read lately it all fits like puzzle pieces - I am reading everything I can, soaking it all up like a dryed up sponge. I understand that he will never change - they cannot be fixed , this is WHO THEY ARE. As sad and as heartbreaking as that is to realize , it also makes me feel better (even briefly) that there's nothing I could've ever done to make this relationship work. 7 years of crying, begging , pleading for him to just treat me nicer (even slightly) was all in vain - he is incapable of real love. But, all this info has made me numb today...and although I feel slightly disconnected from him right now, I know this feeling won't last. Master manipulators that they are, he will pull me right back in to this vortex. I have to leave. 

Rags, I absolutely do see what's wrong with my financial situation but as I mentioned before it is extremely difficult to say no....you have no idea the pressure he will put on me to do the things he wants. It's so much easier just to give in and have a sense of peace for even a short duration, then dealing with all the name calling and belittling which turns into silent treatment for which I'm blamed for.......it always twists around and I'm the bad person who ends up apologizing. Like yesterday  I mentioned that he informed me that he was driving his friend to the city few hrs away....but he was in the shop most of the day. So, when he came in I mentioned that I thought he was doing that and asked if something happened to cancel the trip. His answer to me was ' I just told you that to prove a point. If you think that you're going to just galavate around with your loser friend all the time -then I can do that as well. I said to teach you a lesson'   Galavant around??? I never go anywhere but to the grocery store, maybe the hair salon, or to do errands. Seriously GALAVANT??? This is crazy making. So in the end its just much easier to do what he wants and aviod the punishment to will come. 

Again, thanks to everyone for taking the time to listen to me. I know when I first pop up on this site I truly believed that my SD was the cause of my unhappiness, and she is (believe me) to a certain extent but someone on here said that she was actually just a symtom of the problem and to that I agree. My H is the true issue. I dont know if I would've made that connection without listening to what all of you were saying. Thank you. I actually don't belong on a site for SKIDS - although I'm happy I found it. Maybe I belong on a NPD site???  Anyone know of a good one?