Members on this board try and retain their privacy. If what you talk about here gets out in the "real world" it can cause you a lot of problems. You should remove all real names and the photograph. It is easy for people to find your information if they want to. The abbreviations for stepkids are SSage for boys and SDage for girls.

53 isn't that old.  

Yea, that would annoy the shit out of me. You have a kid who justifiably needs all your attention.

 You're a prince for standing up for your wife to her daughters. But your wife clearly doesn't want to be saved from them.

Go get a real house of your own with enough space to spread out. When you get your own house, lay down the law about the SDs. It sounds like you did it before, so you can do it again. Tell your wife to babysit the grandkids at the grandkids' houses. That means you'll be a single father to your daughter while she's being a parent to her daughters' kids, but at least you'll get some peace.

You are right -- the more kids the SDs have, the more they'll encroach on your space and your schedule. Have you suggested to your wife that she talk to her daughter about slowing down, using some birth control and paying for a babysitter? If your SDs learn the real cost of having kids, that will be the best birth control.

Negotiate and negotiate hard with your wife for a reasonable babysitting schedule at your SDs' houses. She might bulk, but tell her if she's going to use her free time to babysit someone else's kids, then you need your own free time to lay about in your boxers while she tends to your daughter. You both need free time. Make a schedule if you have to, but put her back on the job of raising her own kid.

You sound as if you've handled some already unpleasant situations with your SDs. Time to apply that to your wife to get some free time and peace back in your own house. It's not unreasonable.

I feel for you. The only thing my SD ever did for me was not reproduce. One of her in this world was more than enough.

Glad you're here. Common codes/references:

• SS18 = step son, age 18
• SD9 = step daughter, age 9
• BM = biological mother
• DH = Dear Husbsnd
• DW = Dear Wife
• GUBM = Golden-Uterus Birth-Mom
• HCBM = High Conflict Birth-Mom
• GBM =Grand-bio-mom
• Etc.

I applaud that you have retained your balls in this relationship though it is sad to me that your bride has allowed herself to become her elders spawn's beck and call girl. 

If you do not drive clarity into DW's skull you are in for a very long and unpleasant run in your retirement years.  My parents have close friends who are in a similar situation with their breeding aged daughter.  I am 54 my parents are 76 (in 2 days) and 73 respectively and their friends are of similar age to my parents.  The wife in that F-ed up situation cleans the daughter's house, goes every AM to get the GrandSpawn ready for school and cooks dinner for the daughter and her entire family including the daughter's husband. 

The husband in that marriage has extricated himself entirely from the situation and has little to do with his own daughter, GKids, etc... and just lets his bride work herself to death catering to their infantile supposedly adult breeder of a daughter.  My parents and that couple go on RV trips together periodically and invariably the wife attempts to end the trips early to rush home to address some non-crisis for their daughter.  The husband tells her to not let their RV door hit her on the ass on her way out and to call when she figures out how to get home to her job as the daughter's chore bitch.  My words, but his tactic. 

I truly hope for  your sake, your daughter's sake and your brides sake that she can gain clarity on letting her prior relationship breeding experiments sink or swim on their own as adults.  You nor your young daughter deserve this.

My parents gave me clarity on how it works regarding elder children Vs younger children when I was in my early teens.  I am 6 years the elder to my next youngest sibling.  I was having a teen boy brain fart episode when my dad took me on a walk for a man to PITA boy talk.  He told me ...."Son, you have had your turn at being (6-8-ish).  Now is your brother's turn and you will not be allowed to interfere in his turn to be the ages you have already been just as he will not be allowed to interfere in you being the age that you are."  Even through the fog of a PITA teen boy brain fart it made sense to me and it did give me clarity.

Try giving your bride the same talk.  Your SD's have already had their turn to be children and it is their job to raise their own spawn.    It is your daughter's turn and considering her special needs... mommy needs to extricate her head from her own ass and gain clarity.  That  your bride is prioritizing her adult daughters and your GSkids over her/your own young daughter is nauseating. 

IMHO of course.

Good luck and take care of you and your baby girl.

And... Welcome by the way.  I hope that you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute and to pick up some usefly perspective and advice from others who are living the adventure of the blended family dream.