Financial planning/distributing assets
I realize this is a very private topic, but if anyone is willing to share, here’s my question.
For those of you in a long-term committed partnership (married or not), with adult Skids involved, and with some amount of financial assets… how will your assets be split when one of you dies? Does everything each of you brought to the union go to your own bio kids or other family/friends? Or does some of what you have together as a couple go the surviving spouse/partner and the rest to the bio kids? Does anyone have everything going to the surviving spouse and nothing to the adult skids in either direction?
I’m not looking for advice about wills and trusts and estate planning – I know how to do all that when the time comes. I’m just wondering how couples decide who gets what, when one of you is gone.
I have a SO (2 years) who is talking about us being together forever. All kids are in early 20s. I have 3 kids who we enjoy and see frequently. He has 2 kids – SS is harmless but distant, SD is hostile and now estranged for almost a year. SO admits he doesn’t enjoy his kids and seems to be happy becoming a part of our family. Assuming things stay this way, I’m having a hard time accepting that if something happened to my SO in the coming years, I’d get nothing and his bios would get everything that is his. I suppose things need to be fair across the board and if something happens to me first, I will want a lot of what I have to go to my kids but since they’re a loving part of our life, that feels right to me. Am I being a hypocrite? I think if I liked his kids I’d be taking more of a “team” attitude, but I don’t like them and as I said they’re not a part of our lives and I really doubt that will ever change.
Would love to hear how other couples/families have made these types of decisions. Thanks!