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The Final Count Down --- Yippie!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Two weeks to go and well it will be good to get away from Twit, I sure am enjoying the crisp mornings, the changing of the leaves and, yes, even the acorns that are falling and hitting the house. Having coffee in the morning in our 3 season room it seems more than a few of them come down and hit the roof, the deck, etc. at a time and it sounds like a war zone.

Almost everything is ready to go. Hate living around boxes but won't be that much longer.

Haven't heard from Twit...she is sulking and pouting like she does when she isn't getting her way. Especially since the last time DH talked to her she wanted to come up and see if there was anything we weren't taking that she might want. (Yep, this one never, ever quits). DH told her that there was no reason for her to come up; that if she wanted to be nice she could take us out for dinner. DH said that fell on her like a lead balloon. No way is Twit ever going to spend a dime on us unless she wants something.

I was packing away some of my old journals and flipping through them Once in a while I would find a section that mentioned the Twit. I was surprised at how many warning signs there were in her behavior that I didn't see back then (hind sight is 20/20 as they say). But then I have never ever encountered anything quite like Twit.

Happy quiet times are coming and DH and I deserve it. Just hope Twit stays far away from us. Maybe I need to go out and hang some garlic on the mail box on the street, etc. to keep her at bay....blood sucker she be. }:) The second week in Oct. the movers will be here. Once they are loaded, we are off across country. We will be at our new home for about two weeks before they get there (truck has more than just our stuff on it).

jam's picture

I used to journal and now tell myself I need to get back to doing it again. When I go back and re-read the past I find that the "hind sight 20/20" shows me things where even worse than I had originally thought. What is really interesting is that I did not even journal the worse times as in those times I would be so exhausted & depressed about it all I would not even journal. Example being when I was invited to msd baby shower which was held at bm. I did not want to go but dh did not want his little princess to feel rejected. I went & that has been the last time I saw her. Over 7 years ago. So as I was writing this and realize dh did not want little princess to be rejected while the facts lived out were "I/WE" were really the ones rejected.

The truth is that although I really felt deeply hurt then, I am now so thankful to have the strife bearing sd out of my life.

When you arrive at your knew place you can do your "happy dance" while singing "Happy days are here again":)

Good luck. May everything go smoothly for you and your dh.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

So agree jam. Isn't it interesting how when we go back and read what we wrote, it didn't jump out at us at the time? But then one incident does not a pattern make.

I just read yesterday how Twit was telling me that she required unconditional love. At the time I figured she was just spouting that guy Depak's stuff because she was really into him. Now I know she feels that whatever she does and say one should take it and lover her anyway. Ummm, I wouldn't take that kind of stuff from my own daughter, nor any of my friends because if they acted like that they wouldn't be friends.

As others have said, narcisissts aren't wired like normal people and I honestly believe that Twit didn't and doesn't realize just how telling she is about herself in what she says to people. I have never, ever, in my long life, had someone tell me they were not normal and never had been and do it with pride. That was just plain chilling.

sammigirl's picture

I think about you daily, SDMC. I know you are so, so excited and I don't blame you.

As you know, my SD56 lives just a block away. DH and I have discussed, since we had a separation, about putting our property on the market and moving back to a neighboring State. I was the one who didn't want to make the change, because we have a beautiful home and put so much work into it, the past 10 years. It was new when we bought it and we landscaped and built a beautiful place.

SD56 finally drew the last straw two years ago, by sending me a two page hate email. I blocked both SD56 and SGD31 from my social media (email, FB, etc.) completely. I didn't want to have words with either of them, because they are not worth taking the low road. It's a long story, which I have posted about previously; I am disengaged from both women (mother/daughter) and have been now for 6 years. SD is not allowed to come around me; they have been told I will have a Court ordered Restraining Order served on either, if they attempt.

With all of this behind us, it is much more peaceful. I didn't want to have to make a change because of SD, although, I understand it is a big part of my decision. There is always that dark cloud, that lives just one block away.

We both have family and friends in the neighboring State, which we intend to relocate. Health care services for my DH is a big plus also. I will be 30 minutes from my 100 year young Father. Then of course we will be rid of the dark cloud up the street. We said nothing to anyone, but we listed our property with a Realtor this past week. The sign went up in the yard and SD56 immediately began calling and texting DH. We are shopping for a home and will relocate. It will take time and I know it will be a big change for us, as well as a good change.

I know SD56 will come to visit SGD31 in the same area; but it won't be a constant dark cloud. I'm still very hesitant to leaving our beautiful home. DH and I both realize there are changes in life we don't really wish to make, but are necessary in our case. I know we will be good with this move, but I am nervous. I envy you to be settled soon. We have made up our minds this will take some time and we have nothing to lose by beginning a new adventure.

Keep us posted here on how you are doing. I am excited for you!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Sammi - It is difficult to make a long move at my age. The last one, 6 years ago, was tough, and this one is going to be no easier because we are going farther.

I sometimes get angry that I have to do this just to have peace in my sunset years. I like this house, I like our neighbors, I like the 4 seasons. This was a journey that darn near killed me and made DH realize that he, too, has to cut ties with Twit.

sammigirl's picture

SDM: It makes me very angry to think that our dream home has turned into a haunted house; I understand your anger. But I am willing to make a move and for us to begin again, away from DH's dysfunctional DD56. My husband's health has serious issues and I am way too old to be doing this, but I have a "no failure" attitude. Smile

I am wiser now, then before, where these women are concerned. SD56 and SGD31 will never make a haunted house out of our home in the future; they will not be allowed to bring their gossip, hate, and ugly selves into our home. We have always had a warm and loving home and DH allowed this situation to happen; he knows it will never happen again.

I am very excited for you and know you will never regret getting away from all the drama and unrest Twit has caused you and her family. I also believe that if you and your DH don't know every little detail of Twit's self inflicted problems, you will have so much fun and peace.

I am so looking forward to moving, now that we have made the decision. SGD31 lives in the same city, approximately 10 miles east; SD56 will be visiting often (her DD); it is a 3 hour drive, in one direction, for SD56; but there will be no reason for her to come to our home. DH can go to his GD31's to visit them all; I'll even drive him if he needs.

Good Luck and please keep us informed.

sandye21's picture

SDM, I have kept a journal since I was 14 years old - and I'm old now. Reading back to earlier entries sure does open your eyes, doesn't it? Especially because when we wrote about a concern we did not know what the outcome would be - and now we do. I've documented several instances in the beginning of our marriage when the red flags were waving like crazy but just didn't seem to put these all together to see how very wrong the relationship was with SD, DH and myself. Also realizing that I wasn't imagining anything! It's kind of rewarding to read about the B.S. you were going through and know that not only did you survive it, you conquered it. And you did, SDM!

Please keep us posted. (((HUGS)))

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi Sandye - I, too, have been journaling since my teens. It is fund, abiet sometimes a tad embarrassing when you go back and read what you thought and what your main concerns were when in high school, etc. The upside is it lets you know just how much you have grown up.

That being said, there sure were red flags about Twit, but as she didn't live near us and I had nothing to base them on, they slided by. Occasionally I would jot down something that seemed strange but one thing does not a Cluster B make.

Will be signing the papers with the real estate agent next week. So the for sale sign will be going up soon.

What is sad is that, as DH said to me the other day, once we move his daughter will probably never talk to him again. If he meant to try to guilt me it didn't work at all, or maybe it was just him realizing how far she has pushed things. I don't read into things and only take them when they are directed to me. Anyone passive aggressive would have a hard time with me, which is probably wy so many of Twit's remarks bounced off until I really started to see the pattern because she really started to get mean. Oh well.

I just had a terrible thought....a nightmare so to speak. Just suppose that Twit decided to move out where we are going and started all over again? Yes, I know, it isn't going to happen but just the thought crossing my mind gave me a chill.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I'm so very happy for you, SDM! You've allowed us all a window into your long, strange trip with Twit - the ups, downs, dirty ashtrays, tantrums, your separation and reconciliation with your DH, etc. - and at last, it's almost over. Thank you for documenting it all, and for demonstrating how a strong woman handles her business.

I doubt you need worry about Twit moving to your new state. She has so much dysfunction going on in her home that it would be very difficult to pick up stakes and leave. What would she do with her helpless adult babies?

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

"What would she do with her helpless adult babies"

No Julie, I doubt she will follow us, BUT you can be sure she will be checking the internet to see if there is ever an obit for us so she can swoop. The word for her is GHOUL - they use to rob graves looking for jewels etc.

You know, I can't believe DH ever thought that she would help us out in our golden years. I know I would not trust her with my health or wellbeing. I mean, just look at how she screwed her own family up.

As for the "babies"...that whole situation is tragic. She has made them all so dependent on her that they are ruined. But, the real truth is that she needs them to be as they are. This is far more psycho than them just being attached to Mommies apron strings.

jam's picture

Hi Sandye.

When I was keeping a journal and writing about a particular concern, I just could not put my finger on exactly what was wrong but knew something is just not right. I would see red flags were flying but any complaints about the situation would bring on the "your paranoid" statement. It seemed to me abnormal became the normal and I was the paranoid one when I would be treated crappy and dare to complain about it.

SDM, I am so happy for you. My situation is no where near as bad as yours WAS (or soon to be in past tense) but I have hope in seeing those like you getting away from such a toxic abnormal environment.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi jam - I know what you mean about red flags. Something would happen and I would question if I heard it right or if what was just said was meant because it just blew my mind away.

But as I said, back then we didn't see a lot of her so when we did if she threw a tantrum I would just figure she was overtired from the trip, or.... Never for a moment thought she was flat out crazy. Then, when DH wanted to move down here, after we bought the house it really started...the nastiness, meanness, etc. It was like, when I look back, she had us where she wanted us so she didn't have to bother to even try to be normal, caring, etc.

I was packing some things with DH earlier and he was wrapping up something he said Twit would just LOVE to have. Before I could even say anything like....hell no, etc. He finished by saying it was just too bad because she wasn't getting it, and wouldn't appreciate it any way; and continued packing. Stopped me dead for a moment Blum 3

sandye21's picture

Jam, When I was journaling about SD's rude behavior such as slamming doors in my face, putting me down, having sideline conversations with her hubby while in the same room, treating me as if I was intellectually inferior to her, unjustifiably snapping at me, treating me as if I was invisible, using my kitchen without asking, ---- the list goes on and on. And all of the time I was told I was imagining things or not making SD comfortable. I documented this but they were all separate instances which eventually built up to a full meltdown by SD. That was when I hit my saturation point. All of those events blended into one and it all became clear: It was NOT me!

Acratopotes's picture

}:) you will miss Twits stalking.......

and we both know Twit wants those paper weights are you going to give it to her as farewell gift }:) }:)

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Trust me, I am not going to miss the cretin at all. I will, however, continue to pray that someone sees Drunkie gets appropriate help but that is all I can and will do.

As for the paperweights...I sold a good portion of them already and Twit isn't getting anything. And I feel real darn good about that.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hello Dunwiththem - Hope all is going well with you. I hesitate to ask, but have you seen Daisy? I think about you and what she did and how she acted. You didn't deserve that.