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Feedback would be appreciated! (long post, sorry)

cpreston's picture

My Step-son and his g/f still live in our house with their 6 month old baby…
(she’s lived there since December, “the load” as I have taken to calling him has never spread his wings and departed the nest)

SHE works 2 days a week, five hour shifts for $8.00 an hour and she blows the little money she does get on stuff like manicures and pedicures and gas to drive herself the 20 minutes in each direction to go visit with her mother every day that she’s not working
(I know, you’re asking yourself, why doesn’t she just go live with her mother? Long story short, the mother dumped her on our doorstep in December to go live with a boyfriend, told her that there was “no room” for her to live there… the mother’s boyfriend then dumped her on her ass so she got a two bedroom apartment for her and her youngest son, no room for dear daughter and baby…

My step-son does OK, but probably can’t survive to live on his own to support him, her and the baby

The company I’m working is hiring part time for $12/h for 28 hours a week, $336 a week before taxes
It would be enough (if they saved it) to get them the hell out of our house… BUT then I’d have to work with her, and I know my husband he’s going to be all like “why don’t you carpool with her?”
I like my solitude in the car… it’s my ONLY alone time anymore.

Do I use the little bit of pull I have around here and see if I can get her the job? If I do, I’d insist that she drives her own damn self to work (she would report to work later than I come in anyway… I just realized my good excuse to be adamant about NO she’s not driving with me!!)

I know jobs are scarce (I also know she hasn’t even LOOKED for anything better) so I guess it’d be a good thing for her to have this job, but then again… I’ve been with this company for ten years and I’m afraid of what’d be like if she’s a screw up (she dropped out of community college, and lied to all of us about it, we thought she was going for an entire semester when she had NOTHING else going on)

But then again… it’d be REALLY nice to get them the eff out of the house…

Still Have Hope's picture

I wouldn't jeopardize my job for an unworthy candidate. I would suggest your SS get a second job to support his family while she looks for a better job. Dr.Phil suggests setting a date (give them 60-90 days to save a rent deposit) for the moochers to move out and don't back down.

Sweetnothings's picture

I wouldn't want to work with her...and would it reflect badly on you if she only managed to stay in the job for a few weeks??? Imagine all the reasons you mention, and really is she REALLY worth all this effort??? With her spending history I don't see her saving THAT much......

Is there any other way to get them out ??? Does your DH give them money still ?? Maybe he can give them a deposit and a little help to get them gone.... i know this is a bad idea, but it may be worth it and save your sanity!!!

neversecondplace's picture

Hi. Probably NOT a good idea. Because she will most definetely fk it up. I know the thought of them gettin out must be heaven-but you dont want it to reflect poorly back to you!! Wink

Shannon61's picture

Please don't do this. Years ago, I recommended a buddy for a position because I had a good relationship with the hiring manager. My buddy was already employed at the company and posted out for the new position. She didn't get along w/her new boss so she called in sick at least 3 times a week, and then finally came in one day an hour late, and quit. Her boss asked her "can we discuss this?" and she told him "no, my husband is waiting for me in the car." Her boss was upset and told me "well Shannon, you recommended her." I was mortified, and promised myself I'd never do that again.

Help her by trying to find her a better job . . outside your place of employment. Or recommend some type of training so she can get a better job.

Don't tarnish your reputation by bringing her on board.

buttercookie's picture

I concur, we got Stain a job a friend of my husband hired him, that caused my husband the lose of a life long friend when Stain screwed off. Husband wasn't mad or anything at the friend and didn't blame him for firing his son at all but it changes things when you recommend someone and they don't work out.

novemberm's picture

I agree with everyone.....I don't think it is worth the risk of her ruining your working relationships.

My boyfriend's son has been asking him to get him a job with him. So far, my bf has said no, bc he knows it would be a disaster. His son is 19, has never worked, has said many times that he does not feel like working. He is probably doing this so he can sit on his butt like he does at home, but at the job, he could do nothing and collect a pay check while his dad works. My bf has a great reputation at his job, and I think his son would ruin it quickly. He is obnoxious and immature, not to mention sneaky as hell.

I also think that if you got this girl a job, she may think that entitles her to a free ride on the job. She may feel like it was given to her, which may give her a bad/lazy attitude, bc she did not have to earn it.

trystme's picture

My DH got his DD a job at his company and it isn't working out. I wouldn't do it. It is a bad idea.

irritatedgal's picture

Give them notice and get them out, ASAP! It might be a little tight until she gets a better job, or an additional one, but that's not your problem it's THEIRS! They could always move into a smaller place if that's what it takes. They aren't willing to do more b/c they are too cozy having all the expenses footed by you guys. Gotta pull that out. They'll probably qualify for welfare anyway, and if they do they'll be required to do activities 30 hours/week to find work.

Madamx28's picture

I agree with everyone else, don't recomment her. My BF got his 23 year old son a job working at the same place as him and even on the same crew. BF and I had plans to go on vacation so he made sure his son had a ride into work while we were gone. The work they do requires them to go into people's homes to do work. 2 weeks before we left for vacation a customer called the store and complained that one of the workmen had stolen money from him. Everyone on that crew (which included my BF and his son) were called into the office and spoken to about the missing $$. Naturally everyone denied knowing anything. 2 weeks later we took our vacation leaving his son to take care of our house. When we got back all hell had broken loose at work. His son was fired, no real reason was actually given to us from his son, he simply said their had been alot of argueing and fingerpointing going on and that everyone was blaming him for all the problems on the crew. He also got evicted from his apartment at this time and had to live with us. Of course that didn't sit well with his dad who believed every word out of the kids mouth and 2 weeks after arriving back from our vacation my BF was fired as well, accusing him of stealing the money.

My BF has worked for this company for 5 years and never had a problem like this. Now all of a sudden they are accusing him of theft. To make a very long story short, I'm positive the kid put the blame on his dad to try and get his job back. I'm almost certain of it. Ever since that kid has come back into our lives we've had nothing but big problems to deal with. I think the kid lies, steals, screws people over and doesn't care at whose or what expense. I look into that kid's eyes and I see no emotion - nothing. It's almost scary. So I'd have to say, "no" to getting her a job.

It's just not worth the risk and I wish with all of my heart that my BF hadn't have done it. Of course he doesn't think his son would ever have done such a thing, but I know for a fact that he would. He doesn't see the side of his son that I see.

Good luck to you, whatever route you choose! Smile