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Don't trust SD reasons

mommaofboys's picture

I am new to this forum and website. I have been married for 18 years and we have 3 young children. My DH was married before and had a daughter. When she was 6 he allowed her step father to adopt her at the request of her and his ex...This was a very difficult divorce and he tried very hard to visit and keep a relationship with his daughter throughout the years. Anyway...Once her BM divorced her adopted father the ex starts calling my DH and informing him of what has been happening in the SD life...The SD is now 22 ... I met her when she was 20 and she came at a time when she was trying to take her SF to court with claims of sexual abuse...SHe lost..I do not trust her at all and I want nothing to do with her or this relationship. She has him so fooled I can't even stand to look at the two of them together. I feel she is only here for our money...Never mind that her BM is pretty much a loser and lives with her mother now and has no job...I have never met his ex...Now the SD is talking about getting married and wanting my children in it...Along with I am sure us paying for it..We have only met her 3 times...Who does she think she is coming into our lives NOW!!! why not when she was 18? A decision will have to be made..Either me and the boys go or she never comes back...Why do I hate her so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jsmom's picture

Why can't your husband have a relationship with her. Be skeptical and don't pay for a wedding, but what would it hurt to let her into your lives a little? She is his daughter. She may have ulterior motives, but she may just want a father figure in her life. Let her try with just your husband for awhile, and see where that goes. But, he should be skeptical if it is just for money. Maybe with all the changes in her life she may just miss having a relationship with her dad. I did at that age and came slowly back into my dad's life. Now we talk on the phone at least twice a week and he is a really great grandpa.