I think several of us mentioned we thought it would be wise for you to discuss your anxiety issues with your MD.  You once said you briefly brought it up with your MD and I would urge you to do so again.    

You and your DH moved to get away from your SD, yet you say you continue to have severe reactions to mentions of her name.  However, you seem to look for ways to bring up issues related to her.  

After reading your posts for several years now, I say this is the most caring way possible:  Your fixation and reactions about your SD (even when she is not around) is not healthy.  Please talk to your MD again about this.   

I spent some time trying to figure out what is wrong with my OSD. How did she get that way?  I am a problem solver - maybe I was thinking I could fix her? I concluded she is either histrionic narcissist or a narcissistic histrionic. But over time I concluded it really didn't matter; it was my being my analytical self again. Unless she did not treat me in a civil manner and with respect, I just don't care.

This has been discussed before and I understand it too well.....the fact that you are still ruminating on her behavior might be an indicator of PTSD....something I am very familiar with. I don't feel I made headway until I went to see a therapist.  

So, in short, it doesn't matter what her problem is.  Your DH might be forthcoming about her issues, but it won't change anything.  What DOES matter is YOU feeling better and gaining some well-deserved peace at this stage of your life!

If a catchall when people show certain thing.  Thinking dreams are real is one of them.  They dream something, like winning money,  three for four days later they actually think they won money, but can’t find it ?  Don’t know what happen to it.  So someone must of stole it from them. Then they get mad, that someone stole there money. And can get violent,  You can see them change from happy to angry in ten seconds.  

There is no cure for Bipolar.  There drugs to keep them carm so they look normal.  But these drugs make them fell funny and most likely not perform sexuality.  So they stop taking them. Becomes a bad cycle 

There always seems to be excuses... err.... reasons for toxic behaviors.  The toxic nearly always have endless "justifications" for their toxicity and demand that everyone else accept their chosen toxic behaviors.

I for one don't give a flying Rat's F- - - why they do what they do. I care only that they do it.  They can either make a different choice around me or ... get called on their toxic choices.

I do not have the emotional bandwidth to delve into the seemingly infinite bullshit "reasons".  Focusing on the behaviors saves me that personal emotional upheaval and mitigates much of my personal pain when addressing life's issues.

Don't invest in researching this latest round of Twit bullshit unless you feel it is important.  At least that is my recommendation.

Take care of you.

SDM YOU will not be able to understand crazy because you are not crazy. Please steer clear from Twits crazy ass, she will never come to terms that your DH loves another woman, YOU! I empathize with your trying to understand Twits psych because like you, i am a fixer but you can't fix what you didn't break. She doesn't want your empathy, she wants you gone. Please take care of yourself and enjoy your DD, who loves you back!!!

I know how you feel.  It is crazy making to have such a gut level almost panic attack over the thought of having minimal contact with one's abuser when you know how strong you have always been.  I'm in my early 70s and sometimes I look back in amazement at the challenges I met and conquered in life.

Yet I was just brought to my knees last summer at the thought of being near my SS and his GF at a family event just a few months after their home invasion.   I'm doing much better now that another year has passed - but I just wanted to crawl in a hole and not come out in July 2017.  I just felt so VIOLATED after they moved into our home, slept in our bed, ate our food, drank or stole gallons of liquor, and went through my most personal possessions.   I felt like an assault victim.  

My reaction was not calm and logical.  I liken it to when someone has a true phobia about say being on a high floor or being in an elevator.  It's not logical and rational - but it just IS.

What has helped me immensely is that I have had ZERO contact with SS or the GF.  I literally have not uttered his name.  Fortunately he did not show up to that family event - but by that time I'd already skipped a day of activities and gone late to the last day. 

My DH has not been perfect, but he probably gets a B+ or even an A-.  I'd give him a full A if he hadn't tried to get me to buy my new car where SS works.  Heck no - he wasn't getting any money in his pocket off of something that I bought.  Plus I hate that dealership - they are very sleezy.  I think DH thought he'd just go take care of it without me.

But DH knows how egregious their behavior was, and that I am DONE.  DH only occasionally will mention his name in saying something like where he is going.   I am not doing it on purpose, but I know that when I hear his name I have a look of utter revulsion on my face.   I do not limit my DH's visits to his son.  But DH always seems to arrange it for when I have something else to do.  It's never interfered with our plans.

I am glad you  are going to have a good visit with your daughter.  I know you will feel so much better.  But it is time to let your DH know that Twit needs to be 100% out of your life.  He needs to arrange an alternate address for any mail.  And he needs to NEVER mention her name to you nor pass any info about the "babies".  He's not going to have a good time while you're gone so he should understand that you don't HAVE to come back if he can't stop the Twit crud.