Does the BM still get to spend Christmas with DH's family?
Hi this is my first real post- so apologies if this has been covered a zillion times before.....or if it's in the wrong place. I'm just happy to have a place for support.
This year will be the third Christmas since my DH split from his wife and we are trying to plan this year. They were married for 20 years and the split was messy and they essentially don't speak unless absolutely neccessary. She is very bitter and in the victim role. (He left).
The first year- they did a version of what they have been doing the last five years or so - which is spend it with my DH's cousin and her family. (He is an only child with no living parents). I was dropped off to spend the day with my cousins, then Dh took the skids to HIS cousins for lunch- then around 4pm he came to get me and we went onto my parents for dinner. BM then went to spend time with DH's family and then took the girls home (they live with her) .
Last year both the skids were o/s travelling so great- we spent the day with my family.
This year the girls really want to spend time with DH's family and we'd been wondering if BM would also want to and how it would work. Yesterday we found out= without any consultation with us that the three of them (skids and BM) have made plans to go down to DH's cousins together in the morning. I have never even met the BM (and frankly have no real desire to) and don't plan on Christmas day being the day. I feel this doesn't give me the option of going. I am pretty hurt.
My question is: when you divorce, don't you lose the right to spend the holidays with your exes family - especially if the DH has repartnered?
Do we need to do year-on-year-off type thing? Though this seems odd as the girls are 20 and 23.
Am I being too precious.
We have the youngest sd's 21st in Feb - but that's a whole other post. Sigh,
Thanks in advance