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Do any of you live near adult skids?

Mostthanklessjobever's picture

I started the same post just now and my finger slipped and hit enter by accident and there was no way to finish or edit.  Whoops.

 

Any of you live near adult skids?  I'm talking right down the road.

My FIL is gifting to SD23 a piece of his land on his farm (which I advised him against because he is in failing health at 85 and giving away assets right now to me is not the best decision financially, you never know what the future holds). 

I'm honestly sick about it though.  I cannot stand this SD or her sister or BM and the thought of her and them at times being right down the road makes me sick.

What makes it worse is my husband is at the farm almost every evening and weekend.  So BM will always be there popping in along with snowflake SD20.  

The entire situation has really angered me because I told my DH that he really needed to make SD24 pay for this land because I know how much money my FIL has and if he needs nursing care or a Nursing Home he has about 1 years worth of money in the bank to pay for this.  Giving away a parcel that could be sold to help him out I feel is foolish.  My DH says that FIL insists on her having it free and clear and my DH doesn't see anything wrong with it.

I've really struggled over the last few years with my feelings changing in my marriage and toward my DH but this situation here as honeslty been the icing on the cake.

So much of this generation today is take, take, take.  Neither of my SD's do a thing to help my elderly FIL out.  The sad part is, my FIL isn't even any relation to my DH or the skids.  He and his wife took my DH in and raised him when he was little.  

I'm just angry, looking for some advice, direciton, etc.  I'm really trying to be "in the moment" and focus on myself but it's so hard when all this swirls through my head.

 

 

tog redux's picture

Your DH and FIL are allowing her to take it as a gift, so why is she the one that is being blamed?

hereiam's picture

As much as it angers you and make you sick to think about what this means for the future (as far as SDs and BM being around), there is not much you can do about it, FIL is going to do what he wants and your husband apparently is not going to try to get him to do anything different.

You say that your feelings about your husband and marriage have been changing over the last few years, so I can see where this would have you even more frazzled. Maybe look at everything else that has you feeling differently towards him.

I would try not to think about how this will affect your marriage, what you think may happen, might not. Maybe SD will get greedy and sell the parcel, herself. Whatever happens, you can deal with it when it happens, maybe you will have more clarity about your marriage by then.

FIL not being related by blood to your husband and his kids is really not an issue and just doesn't matter. He obviously feels that this is his family.

A funny side bit, spell check wanted to change my SDs to STDs.

 

Mostthanklessjobever's picture

Just the kind of response I was looking for, something to give me some clarity.  

Yea, the spell check thing is pretty funny, STD's I like it lol!

hereiam's picture

I, myself, can stress and stress over things, so I know how you feel. It sucks. I'm doing it now over a situation at my job. I'm really trying to not think about it, but it's hard. I wake up in the middle of the night, and bam, there it is and I can't go back to sleep, my brain won't stop.

A lot of times it turns out to be not as bad as I imagined, so that's good!

One step at a time is all we can really do, especially right now with everything else that is going on.

2Tired4Drama's picture

If he chooses to give SD the land, it's his prerogative.  I certainly understand your practical feelings about it but no one knows what the future holds.  

Like others  have noted, I think this is just another situation which is making your doubt the foundation of your relationship with your DH.   Reading between the lines, I think the bigger issue is that your DH is over there with BM and SDs with frequency.  That leaves you out.   Maybe this is something you can address with your DH.  

 

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

We lived very close -- to close -- to the Twit which eventually forced us to move.