Disney Dad (exH) finally gives up
So I get a text from exH yesterday saying that next week he is bringing DS20 here to live w/me because he is making no *progress* with him. No asking me if it would be OK, can I afford to feed an unemployed grown man? Nothing, just "He's yours now, deal with it."
It's been 2 years since ds20 graduated High School. I've begged DH to get him enrolled in a tech program, get a job, volunteer, anything at all. exH fought me the whole time, calling me overbearing and controlling; all the while enabling and coddling ds20 in his video game playing and trips to the fridge. ds20's adolescense had been overextended while ds17 who has lived with me, is off to college on a full ride scholarship. One is out the door and the other is back!
I know it could be worse. I hear the horror stories about 30 year olds in this situation so luckily I'm able to catch it now and redirect him to get off his @$$ and start moving in life. So annoyed that I have a classicly coddled COD and disney exH who fought for *custody* of this grown man for 2 years and then just dumps him on me.
I believe the real reason behind this is that exH has a new gf who told him that she's not moving in if he has adult kids living with him. DH is not thrilled about the situation but we are both committed to getting him to adult ASAP. DH coddled ss32 for years and does not want to spend the time or money coddling my kids. We've decide that he's not going to get too comfortable and will not get his own room even though we have spare bedrooms. He gets to bunk w/ds15 and will have limited space unless he pays a full rent.
I'm hating exH so much right now. He's robbed ds of 2 years of his adulthood then just drops him off like an unwanted puppy. What a giant @$$!