Disengagement is a band-aid, NOT a resolution
I don’t speak for the ‘wicked step-mother’ types who want to cut out their husband’s previous life altogether, but those of us who, through loving our man, start out wanting to do what’s right by (his) children. All too often it’s an impossible task.
The lives of those of us who fell in love with a man who has children NOT OPEN TO CHANGE will never be happy. There will be pockets of happiness (with him declaring undying love etc) which will serve to enhance and continue the dream, yet in reality only prolong the eternal torture.
So, even in disengagement, there remains a chasm of silent conflict, secrecy and distance that slowly erodes all intimacy, trust, respect and the wholeness necessary between a man and a woman.
Some say ‘so what, I still have my man?’ – and that’s fine because they’re ‘coping’ and life’s about coping. Kudus! But I urge any woman not yet embroiled to consider RUNNING FOR THE HILLS.
It’s like diet and exercise– think long term health benefits!
In reality I don’t expect one single person to listen to this because we all make our own mistakes and then come looking for answers. And so it goes on…