DH's joke to SD pissed me off
I've posted here before about the enmeshment that DH has with SD (age 24). We had a blow up over NYear's where SD disrespected me at family gathering. SD made a rude comment about me to my BIL's wife and they both laughed (BIL's wife is not nice either). I saw SD do it and heard her whisper my name to BIL's wife. Anyway, I told DH that SD had just said something rude about me and he refused to believe me, but then he did confront her by text and she finally admitted doing it. Then she called me a few days later and left an apology by voice mail, which was nice, but I had already started disengaging. DH and I had it out and I told him that he needed to stop enmeshing with her and start presenting us as a united front and that he needed to respect me to her. It seemed that DH was complying and things have calmed down as SD lives 4 hours away and hasn't come to visit and DH showed me a text where he told SD that disrespecting me was the same as disrespecting him.
So today DH calls SD and has the call on speaker. He is outside on the patio but they both talk so loudly that I can hear the conversation from where I'm sitting inside the house. DH tells SD about his favorite joke since the virus started, one something about a guy who says he doesn't want to be isolated with his wife and child. I felt it was disrepectful fo him to say that to SD, as it implies that he (DH) doesn't want to be here with me. Then SD says rather smugly, "hows it going being stuck there at home right now?". I could tell that SD wanted to open the gates to dissing me and she wanted to see if DH would bite. DH said it was fine and changed the subject (thankfully).
After the call I told DH that I thought I was a poor choice of joke to share with SD as it encourages the disrespect and enmeshment. DH said I ruined his day and that it was shitty of me to "listen in" and that I had no boundaries. I told him that I was sitting at my computer and could hear every word because of his loud voice and that he wouldn't tell me I couldn't sit in my own kitchen just because he choose to call SD. Also pissing me off was the fact that he never once mentioned me during the call nor did SD ask. You'd think with all the virus stuff going around that SD might ask how I'm doing or DH would mention to her that I'm fine. I realize this is probably way pie in the sky.
Just looking for opinions on whether DH telling the joke was out of line.