DH still wants to provide meals for coddled SD (27) living at home
My SD (27) lives with us and is now on the same work schedule as we are.
DH has recently started going out of his way to make sure we save her food or will make sure we cook enough dinner to include her. I've reminded him on more than one occasion that she's an adult and we're not obligated to provide her meals. She's gainfully employed and her rent does not include meals. Providing dinner every once in a while is one thing, but providing meals on a regular basis is quite another.
Last night we went to my favorite place to pick up take-out. Before leaving I asked if he was going to pick up something for SD. He looked at me like he was surprised that I would ask such a thing because it was his intention. I lambasted him and told him yet again, we're not providing her dinner . . nor are we obligated to provide her meals . . she's an adult and he wasn't doing her any favors. He wised up and told me "you're right." After we got in the car, I reamed him again because I was just so damn mad that he was actually going to ask her if she wanted something. I asked him when was the last time she treated us to dinner? He couldn't remember. Thus my point, I'll be damned if she's going to mooch off of us for free meals.
Finally, I told him that she'd been shopping for clothes and if she wanted dinner should could have picked up something herself (he pretended he didnt' see her shopping bags on the kitchen floor).
Somebody please tell me why these grown ass men insist on providing for and treating adult children like 10 year olds? Do they want to feel needed? Is it not enough to feel needed by their DWs? What is the psychology behind this foolishness? Pathetic!
Opinions/comments please!
SD is getting married next
SD is getting married next year . . thank God. And it won't get here soon enough. Since she's been on the new schedule, she's started scrounging the fridge for leftovers after we go to bed so she's trying to be slick as well. She won't ask us, but DH offers to buy her food if he's buying take out for us. Or if we cook, he'll make it a point to tell her "daddy cooked some steak and pasta and left you some in the fridge" and she'll say thank you. It's sickening.
These kids today are going to be ill prepared for the real world. I feel for her future husband.
Mustang1 . .your comment made
Mustang1 . .your comment made me chuckle. What tha? Whew. Too funny.
I've noticed SD has cut back on buying food and I'm assuming it's because they are saving for the wedding . . but she has money for new clothes? Why buy food when she can mooch off of us? I'm not putting up with this foolishness. They haven't set the actual date yet . .but it will be in April. . . I'm planning a "new beginnings" party. SD is the definition of pathetic.
Mustang, I asked DH that very
Mustang, I asked DH that very question last night? If he was going to go to her house and cook for her after she got married . .
Also she doesnt' have many friends . . I wonder why.
I don't think her fiance has a clue that she doesn't know how to do anything and it's a wonder she can cross the street by herself. He's going to see the damage caused by daddy's enabling . .because I sure as hell can.
Why is it SD's never get the
Why is it SD's never get the concept that when they are adults they ACT like adults? Is it my imagination or isn't it just plain good manners for adults to take turns paying the bill for restaurant or take-out food? If you had a friend whom you always had to pay lunch for, you would sooner or later dump them. SD36 has a well paying job, a home, a working husband, etc. DH is trying to make ends meet on Social Security and a part time, minimum wage job. When they visit us we pay for the meal whether it be at home or in a restaurant. When we visit them, we STILL pay. They won't even cook us breakfast! One time we even tried to 'wait' them out at the table and sat there for what seemed like hours - they still waited us out and we wound up paying. It amazes me in that DH just doesn't see it. It is hard to know if he is motivated by guilt or pride.
PS - I forgot to add that
PS - I forgot to add that SD36 has never asked that DH apy - she just expects it!
These women . .child . . aka
These women . .child . . aka ..pathetic creatures, have a sense of entitlement.
Heck after the wedding . .I'm just hoping they'll go through with a wedding. She doesn't seem to be in a big hurry to get married.
The reason she is home after work . . instead of going out w/friends, etc ..like I used to do when I was her age . .is because she doesn't have a life. Her daddy is her life.
Her hobby is coming home going to bed. She also expects everyone to greet her like she's been away at war or something when she comes home . .like she's the only one whose every held a job. Not happening . .especially since she shouldn't be here in the first place. She has no shame at being home at damn near 30!