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DH has Decided to Go to Vegas with US == YEAH!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Yep, he made that decision this morning.  Seems he decided having a good time with us was going to be better than dealing with craziness.  As he has said, the Good SD is nothing at all like Twit and he is not surprised we get along.  She and I have been plainning...Vegas, Grand Canyon, antiquing etc.

Interestingly DH has not brought up the wedding etc. before this which tells me he wasn't keen on it anyway.

I did receive an email from Twit's hubby about how Twit was all upset because [we] don't want to be part of the family.  What BS!  Guess she is also concerned about what "stories" we are hearing from her sister, which I find sadly paranoid on her part.  We never talk about her at all.  Twit's hubby was saying how Twit is concerned about stories being told.  I take that to mean that since SHE tells all kinds of falsehoods about people, she assumes others do the same.  She is also scared that people are going to find out what she said about them though she alays goes into denial and claims she doesn't know what you are talking about if confronted.  When you think about it is sad, but not my problem.

futurobrillante99's picture

Congrats!!

My stbX is obsessed with what my friends think of him. Sad that my opinion of him doesn't matter more.

Survivingstephell's picture

So hubby is one of her flying monkeys.  Wow..  Are you two ready to completely block that part of the family from everything??? (phones, social media, etc)

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Yep, Twit's hubby is one of her flying monkeys.  I thought a lot better of him for a long time but then I noticed that he tended to repeat excuses she made on things.   FWIW, according to him Twit had absolutely nothing to do with us not originally being invited to THE WEDDING.  Yeah, right; but with Twit's evil mouth about people you can bet she poisoned the TBG and TBTB against me/us.  But who the heck cares what or why because we are not gong and going to Vegas to have a good time.

sandye21's picture

Does her Hubby know you and DH were purposely excluded from the wedding in the first place?  Then when Twit changed her mind you are supposed to dance for joy?  In the 'old country' they call this 'jacking' people around.  Twit brought this all on herself.  It does look like she has mental issues, and it is somewhat sad, but she still knows right from wrong.  SIL is doing anything he can to make it easier in himself.  Have fun in Vegas and let Twit deal with what she created.  (((HUGS)))

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Sandye - He knows.  He gave me this crock of carp about how his own borthers and only 1 of his sisters (one that tolerates Twit) were not invited which supposedly upset him.  But then I have to say I don't believe anything he says because - well - he has to  live and deal with Twit.

Kind of funny, all the times she cut us out, invited us and left to go shopping, forgot Father's Day (claims she has problems with her short term memory and DH seemed to believe it). BUT when she wants to feel good about herself it is a command performance.

Woman definately has mental problems.  She has a hard time telling the truth even about little insignificant things which blows my mind away, but then she is so secretive.  IMHO secretive people are those that have something to hide.  Certainly people like privacy, but when you ask her a benign question like what she did the night before, she can't even be straight about that.

She also sees people as looking to rip her off, cheat her etc. which is quite strange too.  That is why she has all the dogs she use to  let run loose.

And paranoid?  Well, she is warey that her brother and sister are telling DH "stories" about her when she never comes up in the conversation.  Makes me wonder what she tells people about us that she is so afraid of.

It is impossible to have any kind of relationship with someone like that.

Sometimes I wonder what really went on in that house that made her 3 babies turn out like they are.  It could not have been normal at all.  I once noticed that when other people are around her for more than a day or so, she starts to get nervous like she can only be "normal" for so long.

sandye21's picture

"Narcissists will do anything to avoid responsibility and accountability. They will do anything to avoid facing the truth about themselves. They lie, deceive, invent stories, and blame anyone, but themselves. They will willingly destroy other people if needed, to protect their own fragile narcissistic ego.

And the paranoia, is evident. The paranoia is a way of blaming someone else. When actually deep down, they know the real issue is themselves. And that’s why they are paranoid. But they cannot bear to admit this, even to themselves. Leading to all the narcissistic behaviours of lying, blaming others, failing to look within, avoiding all accountability, no self honesty.

And of course, when anyone actually figures out who they are, the smear campaign starts. They lie and try to deceive more people."

Sound familiar?

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

That article was right on, Sandye.  You know, it is difficult to believe someone could be like that but then they are not wired normally.

FWIW, I guess Drunkie is going back home to Mama Twit.  Seems he lost his job again so she is taking him back in.  The kid is a yoyo.  Going back to Mama is the WORST thing that could happen but then she IS his enabler because she can bleat about him and gain victim status and sympathy.  DH told me about Drunkie returning a few days ago.  Guess he told her she was crazy letting him come back again and again.  DH did get it right there....she IS CRAZY no doubt about it.

sandye21's picture

After the wedding is over, and the bride and groom have moved FAR away.  You will get copies of wedding photographs.  The ones of the bride and groom will be small.  The one of Twit, who got all dressed up for the photo, and SIL will be the big one.  My Mother is a narcissist.   After DH and I got married we recieved a BIG picture of she and my Father.  The next time I went to her house, I looked on her wall and there was a picture of my ex and I.  No picture of DH and I - ever.  You HAVE to see the humor!  LOL

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh agree.   But, knowing what they are we expect it.

Guess when DH told her he wasn't going to THE wedding, she boo hoo hooed about how he wanted nothing to do with the family etc., like always.  That is when she told him about Drunkie coming back, like a yoyo.  THE wedding of the century (in Twit's mind) will be over in a couple of months and she will need something else to flash around for attention so Drunkie is being lined up again so she can talk about what a victim she is, LOOK what she has to deal with and all she does for him and he is still rotten.

Never ends, but is sooo predictable

SacrificialLamb's picture

My OSD follows this same line of thinking...when she doesn't get what she wants, she immediately reverts to a completely unrelated tale of woe....usually that her DH works long hours and the poor thing has to handle two children (who spend all day in school) by herself......wahhhhhh!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Well, well, well.

So glad to hear that your DH chose sane over insane. I'm know youll all have a great time in Sin City/

Do you plan to respond to Twit's hubby? Are you sure it was actually he who sent the email? I dont think I could resist giving him the truth with no bark on it. Thanks to his spinelessness and dereliction of duty there are three more messed up young men in the world.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

It's him because it is his work email.  Trying to tell him would be like talking to the wall as he doesn't have a clue as to why Drunkie is the way he is or why the GTB and BTB are cutting the strings with them.  WHERE DID THEY GO WRONG?

Once instance I can think of from years ago when Drunkie got the 1st DUI and they went out and bought him a big screen t.v. because he wanted one!  Ummm, one doesn't reward that kind of behavior unless one wants it repeated IMHO.

Or back when DH put the door in for Twit and the GTB helped out and was a great help to DH.  He spent time looking up on the internet how to do it so he had an idea.  The other 2 were there but didn't participate eventhough that is what Twit had them there for.

When DH complimented on what a great help the GTB had been, the response from Twit and her hubby was that ALL the babies helped.   Now Twit's DH wasnt here, but that is what Twit told us, and later when I comment to Twit's DH about what a great help the one had been and how he had taken time to look up how to do it, his response was the exact same:  All the boys helped out.

Gave up after that.  Interestingly, that same day, Twit humiliated Drunkie in front of us and his brothers because she claimed he had done a poor job painting the door and she was going to make him do it again.  Both DH and I looked at the door and it was painted well, evenly, etc.; so DH told Twit the door was painted fine (in front of a humiliated Drunkie).  Twit said it wasn't and he had to do it again until he got it right.

The actual fact here, Julie, is that the GTB could have put the door in himself!  The ex-Marine is quite capable of doing things.  Unfortunatley Mama Twit doesn't think so.  Very sad.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh, I checked out the "honesty" on things with Twit's hubby before we moved.  I asked him about something Twit did to DH (something I personally witnessed and knew the answer to).  He came back saying he didnd't know anything about that and gave me a bunch of OLD information.  So I waited a few days and then sprung the rest of the situation on him which I told him could be verified if needed.  He never responded to that.  After that I believe him about as much as I believe her.

Rags's picture

Time to call the SSIL and season him with the facts of the Twitster's toxic crap regarding the wedding.  As I recall he isn't a complete ignoramus and over all isn't too bad.  So... just season him accordingly and offer to help  him stay abreast of reality so that he doesn't get sucked into the Twit's self delusional toxic vortex.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Rags, I use to thing he wasn't a complete ignoramus until I emailed him and he came back with something Twit said to DH verbatum.  He is already sucked in....Twit has him under her control.  He is just another one of her "robots"  who do what she says, think what she tells them to think and hide what they are from the world outside.

FWIW, I think that DH keeps in touch with her (damn him) because he is the only one in the family that has anything to do with her.  He feels sorry for her, I think.

Actually, I have no remorse about not being at that wedding.  I am much better off where I am out here and going to Vegas.  You see, it is really Twit's wedding in her mind.....after all it is her Babie that is the groom.  You can bet there will be competition for attention with the bride....not something I want to witness.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

OOPS Rags, made a mistake there.  Thought you were talking about Twit's hubby not the GTB.  No, he isn't a complete ignoramous, but Mama Twit has him very well trained to believe he is helpless.  Once he got out of the Marines Twit went right to work making him dependent on her.....doing his laundry, mailing his packages so the poor baby doesn't have to go to the USPO, helping him find an apartment, buying him furniture for it at auction, etc.

The Marines worked hard to make a man out of him, and Twit worked twice as hard to undo it when he got out.

I think I would rather just stay out of it and let them all stew in their own juices.  You have to  understand Twit....Everyone is a loser EXCEPT her and her babies.  Life is too short for that carp.