I posted about my SS8 on the other board, but now I need to unload a little about my SD19. She is getting away with being a LEECH because DH and "grandma" enable her.
Lazygirl has always been good and respectful. But she has big flaws. She procrastinates and is very lazy about life in general. She also lacks a sense of responsibility for actions and inactions. She rationalizes that she has caused 4 auto crashes and swears they weren't "her fault"!
Lazygirl has learned since graduation that when she gets mad at one parent, she just moves in with the other. She has bounced back and forth several times in the past 1.5 yr without any repercussions. DH is done w/ child support but he gives her an allowance - a decision he made w/o my input even though its my money too. Recently she moved back to her mom's because DH was snarky about her procrastinating on a school (community college) project. She's at her mom's and is giving DH the silent treatment, but she sneaks into our house every 2 weeks to get the check her grandma mails her, and certainly expects DH to deposit his allowance in her account.
I want her to get out and get on with life, but she is totally content living in limbo because she is so provided for. DH keeps saying that he was a "late bloomer" too and she'll "come around". He's so lenient and lax that it really pisses me off.
I have read a few posts on here about young adults move out when they get tired of the rules of their parents house. She doesn't really have rules when she's here..there is no curfew. She's expected to make her bed and do her own laundry. I'd love it if she cleaned up after herself in the bathroom. But she isn't punished for not doing these things. Maybe that's why she won't leave!
I resent her lack of responsibility and her sense of entitlement. I resent DH that he enables her bad character-traits and won't push her out of the nest.

~Third Time is TheCharm