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DH Awakening!!!!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

DH and I spent the afternoon looking at various properties on the computer. It was fun to do it together.

As we looked and talked about pros and cons of various places, DH started to talk about things he has noticed concerning Twit. I listened and didn't respond, just listened because I think that was all he wanted AND I wasn't going to get involved with his Twit any more. That is why I am posting here on this.

He said he would never leave our dog with Twit, even before all the brouhaha. That he didn't like that she lets them run loose (until the one got shot). She actually thought it was great that her dog had "doggie friends" she ran around the area with. Umm, that is called a pack of dogs and when dogs run in a pack they can get aggressive and into a lot of trouble.

Our beloved doggie just had surgery 2 weeks ago (just got his stitches out) to have tumors removed.

I believe the dog issue came up because one of the dogs Twit had had this huge tumor...poor dog could hardly get up as it was so massive under his front legs and stomach. DH pointed out to Twit that the dog was having problems and she told him that the vet had told her it was to the point the dog should have surgery or be put down. He said he felt that Twit was just going to let it go and let the dog suffer until it died so he shamed her into doing something, which was that she did have the tumors removed and the dog was much much better. He said Twit told him the tumor was 30 lbs. but coming from Twit, who knows.

Then there was last year when DH stopped by and saw one of her dogs was a skelton and was actually having problems standing up, walking, etc. In all honesty, this was an old dog, but no animal should be allowed to get to that condition IMHO and in DH's opinion too. Once again he had to tell her that she had to do something, the dog was in bad shape and it wasn't fair to the dog to just let it continue its decline. DH said he was shocked when she told him she hadn't noticed how bad the dog had gotten!!?? He told her that if she called the vet he would take her and dog down there but she declined. After being shamed by her Father, she did take care of things and DH told me that he followed up with her to make sure the dog was taken care of. He was quite disturbed by the condition of that animal.

Now, I want to point out it wasn't because she was starving the dog....it was just, well old age. That dog was 14 give or take. The dog just went into a decline and evidently, according to DH, Twit claimed she didn't notice and neither did her husband.

He said he would never, ever let our baby (a rescued lab who is getting up in his years) with her.

All I could think of was what kind of normal person would let an animal get to such a condition? I didn't say anything, but it sent a chill down my back that Twit told him she hadn't noticed the dog's condition! Or that she didn't seem to want to take care of the dog with the huge tumor.

Talk about not having any empathy and being entirely self-centered. Must say, it reaffirmed my reasons to be scared of her and to keep her at bay. I had to bite my tongue not to tell DH that was one reason I didn't want to be around her....one never knows if she would "help" one on their way if there was something in it for her (inheritance).

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

DD is going to come and stay at our house and take care of our dog when we go house hunting together in about a month.

As for what DH was saying...I think, but I don't know, if he was telling me that to clue me in on some of Twit's problems without actually saying she is obtuse about any one but herself and maybe her husband. Now that I think about things, I think the thing with her "babies" is that she sees them as HERS. But, who cares. Hopefully by Christmas we will be far away from Twitland.

notasm3's picture

I've mentioned before that DH and I looked for almost a year before we bought last summer. We eventually found our perfect home on realtor.com. We found a lot of leads there. Good luck.

ETA - I'm on my 3rd rescue dog. Love my doggies to pieces. I've spent a fortune on vet bills but it was worth it.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi - notasm: That is what we are doing. He is getting a feel for the area and what is available. This time around I want a walk in tub. I pointed out to him that there are gated communities out there that are strictly retirees.

I do believe that dealing with our dog's surgery, etc. has had an affect on him regarding tings Twit has done. I bet he doesn't want to end up in her care as he gets older.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

luvmypuppy - I do agree with you. I have never run across anyone like her in my long life.

That would explain why she doesn't have any friends - except her pot and pan team mates. She is not capable of being honest, even about things that don't even matter.

People that don't care about their pets generally don't care about people either.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Sorry, but I have to weigh in on the pets issue. I know you are just "venting" your opinion, but I think it's an example of how you are still way too enmeshed and interested in your SD's issues despite claiming you want to be rid of her and what a problem she is in your life.

Unless there is blatant abuse where the authorities need to be called in, it's not your business how your SD and her husband manage their pets care. It's not for you to judge the care they are giving their animals. Quite frankly, I have a very very old dog who is skinny (but who eats well and the vet says she is still in good shape for her age) and I've had other elderly dogs who have had large (but benign) tumors. To an "outsider" they may think my dogs were not being cared for. Couldn't be farther from the truth - my vet and I were actively engaged and frequently discussed all options for my pets' care. Sometimes, due to other health issues, tumors etc. were not removed. If they were not affecting the overall quality of life, and were biopsied as benign, then we opted to leave them alone as the surgery would have been more traumatic and would not have been of benefit. I also know of people who had to put their beloved pets down because they simply could not afford to pay for treatments - that is a heartbreaking and very personal decision to make and something you will have to go through at some point with your dog, too.

So yes, I am a "normal person" and based on your assessment, I am probably guilty of animal abuse.

Seems to me that you continue to actively look for things to complain about your SD. You obviously are incapable of actually disengaging, which means putting your SD completely out of your mind. Perhaps you may want to talk to a professional about why you can't get her, and her activities, out of your head.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

2TiredforDrama - Actually, I could give a ratz butt what Twit does or doesn't do. What was interesting was hearing DH bring up those matters. He was the one talking about them and actually putting blame on his Twit for not doing the right thing.

I was surprised when he started talking about the issues. I just listened, said absolutely nothing. THIS is one of the first times he has actually said that there is something wrong with Twit and the things she does. IMHO that is a break through because he is facing what she truly is. In the past he would make excuses for her but that doesn't seem to be the case this time.

Am I involved with her and what she thinks? Heck no. BUT, I am smart enough to take steps to protect myself from any encroachment by her. What I am grateful for is that DH is FINALLY taking an interest in our moving.

Our dog had 2 big tumors and the vet advised us when they should be operated on, so I know all about tumors, old dogs, etc. When a dog is, not only a skelton, but can't get up, when it manages to do so, it falls down because it is so weak, THAT is totally different from just a skinny old dog. DH KNOWS the difference. I only recall that day because he actually came home (I wasn't there) quite upset about the situation.

Actually, what DH said the other day about Twit and that dog was that he figured she just didn't want to spend the money to put it out of its misery; that she hoped it would just die on its own because she couldn't be bothered. THAT is what he said, not me. And I can tell you I was quite surprised he said something like that about Twit.

And 2TiredforDrama - I want to make it clear that DH brought up all these things about Twit and her dogs to me. Which surprised me. All I did was listen to him talk about the various instances and how he felt about what she was doing. BUT difference from me getting involved with her and her behavior. In all due respect, 2Tired, I think you are out wrong on this.

I am concerned about my health, getting better and moving. And I was just thrilled that DH was finally taking an interest. In the past he didn't like the idea of moving again. Now, that reality is setting in, he is all for it and I am thrilled.