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College for sks-who paid what

Anon2009's picture

My osd is 18 and will be attending school in our state, but 5 hours away. She's going to pay for her books, get a job on campus and keep her current job for the summer. She got a scholarship which will come in handy for us. After that, we're paying the rest.

How does this sound? What were the college payment arrangements with your sks? How did they turn out?

hereiam's picture

College? Would have been nice if she had just graduated from High School.

But I think your plan is very reasonable.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Oh you do not want to hear my stories!! People have been killed for less than what my dh' s monsters did. The first failed 4 years of college straight. Falsified her grades to her father. The second served us with a court motion on our wedding day no less to go to the college of her choice. And living in the state we do, NCP have to play college unless they work in Micky d's. so consider yourself lucky!

hereiam's picture

Intact couples are also not legally responsible to support their children after 18, so child support should not go past high school but it does in a lot of states. Maybe they will do away with that one day, too.

sandye21's picture

^^^THIS^^^! SD is trying to help herself instead of thinking she is entitled and you paying for all of it - like my SD.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Well we just paid the little witch's college bill today! And I am sure when we go to emancipate her when she graduates, she will try to get dh to be on the hook for law school as well. The courts really have condoned these behaviors of just milking the NCP for as much as they can get. Doesn't matter that they are essentially dead to my dh. He produced these miscreants, so now he keeps having to pay.

Sambolina1's picture

After learning from mistakes the first go round, with OSD, we opted to do NOTHING for the second. First go round, bm claimed poverty, we gave $1000 towards first semester, plus $200 a month to help out. We didn't realize bm got her brother to pay the tuition! Meanwhile, because bm is on welfare, OSD qualified for every need based grant in the book. So the windfall of a tuition assistance check? That bm had sent to her bank account! Bm's brother refuses to speak to bm until she apologizes for this. It's been four years! When all of it went down, bm was tight lipped about the money. we werent allowed to question her! Anyway, after that fiasco, we've decided that ysd, who actually was successful in high school, can get scholarships, get a job, or go to community college. Or, she can join the military like I and her dad did. But we refuse to hand over a penny when there is no transparency. Already we've had requests. Like send $500 for dorm fees. Well, we called and it was $400, not $500. Not cool! And she ended up not going to that school anyway.
I paid for my own college. Still paying, too! We've paid so much in child support over the years, while bm sat on her ass, that we have little towards retirement! Neither of those girls talk to us unless they need something. Do I think they are gonna care for us in our old age if we neglect our retirement? That is a big no. They can take out loans, of work, or do ROTC, or join the army, or go to community college, just like the rest of us do. Does this make me heartless?

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

I would not contribute to steps college fund. Not my responsibility. As it turns out one didn't finish high school and one became a professional housewife. No college issues for the steps.

hismineandours's picture

Makes me glad that ss15 is such an underachiever. Don't have to worry about college costs.

twopines's picture

SS30 used his GI Bill, SD28 had a small scholarship, worked almost full time and took out loans. Both graduated.

Sambolina1's picture

Need based, yep. And the fact tuition was paid in full by brother in law, meant that all proceeds were kicked back to student (actually bm!) and by tons of money, I mean about 3500. Tons is relative! Smile

Had Enough77's picture

My DH is splitting the cost of his daugher's schooling with her bm. When the time comes for my son to go to college/university whatever isnt covered by his tuition fund will be split between me and his bf. I dont contribute financially to my DH's kids lives at all....the ungrateful brats

evilstepmotherJ's picture

Because I work for a state run University, my SK's are eligible for a 75% tuition break. In addition, my SD's grandmother passed away and left her $12,000.00 and at a cost of approximately $2,000 a month (after discount) SD should be able to complete two full years of college debt free, after that she will have to obtain student loans like I did and most other kids I know. We give her free room and board as long as she is in College full time. However, ever since I signed for her to obtain the discount she has been ignoring me, all while living in my home rent free. You see, we are bad parents now because we don't pay her other expenses such as car insurance, gas money, parking on campus and food she eats outside our home. I think you are being more than generous because from what I am learning, "no good deed goes unpunished". Her younger brother, SS15 will not be getting the tuition discount, he has ignored me and hubby for years now. He is on his own. I was also debating withdrawing the tuition discount for SD since she ignores me but at the rate she's going, I highly doubt she'll make it through fall semester. I have also told DH that because of the way she is treating me, I am warning him now that I will refuse to provide my tax information for the FAFSA so she will have to find some other way to fund her last two years of college.

evilstepmotherJ's picture

Lucky for me, my husband is an amazing man who understands how hurt I have been by being ignored while providing a $50,000 college discount to his daughter. I might be willing to provide FAFSA information as long as I can withdraw the discount Smile

Edited to add: I am under no obligation to provide said discount to SD, I did it to be nice and give her a fighting change to provide for herself in the future. If I could do it all over I would not provide said discount and would let her fund her entire college education on her own. If he were to divorce me, she would be paying over $8,000 per semester instead of $2,000.00.