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christmas eve joy!

dodgegal05's picture

So after spending yesterday evening with my family helping prep for christmas eve dinner I'd of thought he knew where we'd be christmas eve. Since his family is doing christmas day dinner, I thought it made sense. I told him last week when I found out his families plan that we could do my families house on christmas eve. He said okay. So today the stepkid who texted two nights ago to say she is not trying to have a relationship anymore bc she'd have to respect me called. She wants "us" to stop by christmas eve. So ofcourse fdh wanted to stop by, we are both working that day and have plans with my family (or so I thought he knew). I explained that we cant really do both, but we can plan another day next week since its less busy. He gets all huffy saying he never agreed to going to my families for christmas eve. So even though they got him presents, he acts like going to the ungrateful stepkids to see them is more important.
He said he'll call and tell her we cant stop by bc of work and other prior plans, but I'm sure he'll say something to the effect its all my fault bc he didnt agree to going to my families.
What really gets me is only a few days after the stepkid gets annoyed that she has to respect me she wants me to come over...I hate the holidays, so freaking much!!!

dodgegal05's picture

fdh doesnt think that christmas eve isn't a day to celebrate, which in some families that may be true, but he was at my families last year on christmas eve and knows that we do a big dinner and gifts. Not much on christmas day except a noon dinner, but with everyone work schedules (a few realitives are nurses) its hard to accomadate everyone. He thinks since we were at my families thanksgiving we can just skip my families house all together this year when we are only doing christmas eve. There are presents for each of us there and I thinks it is very rude to not go christmas eve to accept them and give other gifts since we will be his families christmas day. Its just infuriating!!!
Makes me want to leave him at home to watch holiday movie reruns while I enjoy my family.

dodgegal05's picture

SO and I were talking about why we didnt discuss going to my families house. When I asked him about going last week he said "okay". If he had asked another question or asked to discuss it we would of discussed it. I pointed out that if you are asked a question and you say okay then your answer is accepted and the asker doesnt feel the need to talk further about the issue. He saw my point, but shouldn't that be commonsense?
I suggested rescheduling with the skid and he acted like at midnight of christmas eve they would turn into pumpkins or something. "I dont know their schedule" "I dont know if they'll be home next week" They have little kids and jobs, I am sure they'll be home.
He told me he tell the skid that work and a prior commiitment is the reason we can't go, but im sure he'll say dodgegal has to work and we have to spend that night with her family instead. Its noones fault this happened as we made plans before she called (last minute really for the season), but it'll be all my fault.

youngmama1b1g's picture

Ok im not even 25 and I've known since the beginning of this month what were doing for the holidays- as far as when we're going over who's house and such.

And I tell my husband. Just to make sure I write it on our calendar in the dining room too- so there's no "I forgot"

dodgegal05's picture

I asked my SO tonight what he wanted to do for New Years Eve, he said "I dont think that far ahead." So I guess I'll make plans for myself and he can join me if he wants to. Since I am working all week and till 6 New Years Eve I want to know what I'm doing ahead of time.
SO doesnt like to even make plans for the next day bc (and I quote) "Something might happen to affect our plan tomorrow." Well duh! People understand that in general.
Sometimes I feel like disengaging from him! }:)