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BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER was 22SD's meltdown a few weeks ago knowing we may never see her again!

fadedbackground's picture

Ahhh! BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER is SD having the meltdown a few weeks ago and swearing (once again 5 years later) that she hates H, he's not her father and never wants to speak to him again. I hope this time it holds! It is SO nice knowing that there will not be any stupid amounts of money spent on presents going to SD for Christmas this year, which H always does when he never sees her. There will be no visits from her at all in the near future (dare I say ever? I can dream!). No worry about her bringing up her loser boyfriend or her loser friends to spend a weekend. No more agony of wondering why the sudden flurry of texts or calls from her after months of nothing when I see our online usage and wondering if she's having issues with the boyfriend and H is trying to convince her to come up here to get away, or even better, come up here to live. Amazing how much relief there is getting her out of our lives for however long it may be.

She deleted us immediately from her friends on Facebook, which is what she does after every time she has a fight with her boyfriend or friends. I don't know how many "best friends" she's had and then a few months later, poof, they are no longer friends on Facebook! The boyfriend and her have a fight and she takes him off her list and lives with her mom for a week or so until they make up and then they are once again Facebook friends. But this time,shortly after she took us off her list, she totally deleted her Facebook profile so she'd be sure we wouldn't contact her that way. Hey I am GREAT with that. Good luck with your sad life, working at a convenience store because you don't even have your GED, living in a dump with your loser do-nothing boyfriend and his brother and being too afraid to do anything. But hey, she just wants to have fun as she screamed at H during the meltdown so I hope she's having a blast!

tog redux's picture

I personally never wanted my DH to lose his relationship with his son, no matter how much stress it caused me. Why would I celebrate something that caused him pain?

sandye21's picture

My SD had a meltdown which caused me to ban her from my home.  This has been good for me, and I really have no desire to see her again.  However, DH has the right to see her just about whenever he wants.  He hasn't chosen to visit her in 9 years, but it's on him.

fadedbackground's picture

Well he was in pain for about 12 hours and then got over it and said he's done until she comes around, if that ever happens and is in a great mood now. I celebrated every time she left after being here for a weekend when she was a teenager and hoped she'd never return.Unfortunately she did and I was unhappy for the week leading up to it and the weekend and then celebrated again when she left.

still learning's picture

Good luck with your sad life, working at a convenience store because you don't even have your GED,

Next time you get gas, please go in and tell all the staff how sad their lives are because they work in a convenience store.  The fact that SD does have issues but is still out working gives her my kudos. Not sure why you spend your time stalking this "sad lowly" girl on social media since she's so beneath you.  

still learning's picture

Right? ss33 spent years sponging off others and doing nothing but smoking pot and playing video games.  He's working a menial job now, but it is work.  

Lady.Tremaine's picture

I've followed your entries since the vacation drama began

While to an extent I agree with some of the above posters I actually do understand you being happy about her being gone for some time. Your DH bends over backwards for his kid and wants the best for her but ends up crushed each time. Watching that over and over and seeing a potential end seems gratifying.

Him waiting for her to come around means no drama / crushing of his emotions directly by her in the future. I can understand that

But knowing your DH with your past posts he will likely cave before she does. And he will likely repeat the same mistakes. Rinse lather repeat until you are both emotionally exhausted.

Personally I'd urge him to give it some time then do a neutral reach out. Not an apology ( he didn't do much wrong as anyone with a brain would see he's just misguided about how to help your SD) but a reach out to let her know he does care and hope things are ok.

BUT when urging this explain : you do not want to "bond" with princess. That relationship could change but him pushing her on you will only cause resentment and understandably so. That he can go on vacations with her but she is not invited on yours. That he can hang out with her bf but it stays out of the house for now.

 

 

Harry's picture

See her outside of your home.  No more sleep overs, no more of SD friends invading your home. 

fadedbackground's picture

Well he still has all the stuff she left behind when she took off. Her teddy bear, her headphones, a jack to her handheld game a dress (that she said was hers but is really her mother's), some makeup. Who knows when or if he's going to send that back to her. SD texted me a few hours after leaving saying to send the dress back to her mother and then the mother a few hours after that texting me again saying to put all her stuff in a box and let her know how much the postage is and she'll pay me for it. H said not to respond to either one and if I did to tell them not to contact me as this isn't my problem but to contact H. Neither of them have contacted H at all or contacted me again. I have a feeling he thinks if he hangs onto the stuff then SD will come up to get it, which is NOT going to happen and will probably make her hate him more.

What kills me is how many times H said that kept telling me that SD is a good kid and she's had a hard life and I need to cut her some slack and "try" with her. Every time I wouldn't respond or go "Mm hmm" and that was it or I'd roll my eyes. I know how she is becasue I'M the one who always had to hang out with her when she was over because he decided that he needed to work that weekend or was working on his motorcycle or taking a 3 hour nap or spending the day playing video games. I was the one who took pity on her and sat with her even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. Every damn time she was pushed off on me, but in his mind she was there so he was hanging out with her. I've had my fill of her but yet I still need to "try". Yet here he is totally writing her off after a fight. Why don't YOU try? She's had a hard life right? Isn't that what YOU told me when things were good between you and I seemed to be the one who had the issue?? Now he sees exactly what I was talking about and why I have no desire to be around her. Before he wouldn't even let me finish that thought before getting upset that I felt that way. I even replayed the doorbell camera that night and see as he was trying to cool off outside and she hadn't left yet  "Brainwashed little fu**er" referring to how her mom has brainwashed her into thinking she can't do anything and to hate him. She didn't hear thta becasue she was inside but I'm sure THAT wouldn't have gone over well.

WarMachine13's picture

Good luck with your sad life

Sorry lady but YOU are the one with the sad life. You admit you're a doormat. You let your H control you and your money and don't do a damn thing to change it. You're consumed with hate for your skid. You seem to get off on her mistakes and failures. Hate drives you.

Do you even care about your H?? 

Gotta say. If anyone has a sad life it's YOU.

fadedbackground's picture

Yup, I sure do have a sad life, Thanks for noticing Smile I'm a doormat and don't do squat to change it, just put my thoughts on here, but it's a lot less sadder with SD out of it! Smile

Aniki-Moderator's picture

You certainly enjoy portraying yourself as a "victim". Your posts are not cries for help, but cries for attention. 

fadedbackground's picture

And yet here you are giving me attention :)  Why do you respond to my posts at all if that's how you feel??? You know it's me so why don't you just go right on by rather than wasting your time reading and responding then? I'm not asking anyone to respond, just putting down the way I feel!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

That was for anyone new to your posts so they don't waste time feeling any sympathy for you.

youdonotdefineme's picture

feel too bad, not everyone agrees with everyone else.

 

I, however, appreciate the feelings behind what you wrote, as I feel pretty much the same way towards my skids.