Apparently I "never do anything for anyone else"
Welp, yesterday I was told by my husband that I "never do anything for anyone else" since I told my 21 SD that I did not want to help her dye her hair. In the house that I pay for. With the dye that I bought. While she does jack shit.
Just to be clear, my husband is not working right now and the SD moved in in May and does not contribute to the household in any financial way and barely in any other way. I go to work at a full time job in order to put a roof over heads, food on the table, blah blah blah, all that grown up stuff.
I'm not a hairdresser. I used to help friends with that kind of crap when I was younger, and recently did it for my SS's girlfriend and said at the end of that experience that I wasn't going to do it anymore. I quit dying my own hair because I hate doing that shit. So now since I won't do it for her, I'm the asshole.
Am I just supposed to cater to her every whim because her BM is a complete mess? I don't give a shit if this kid likes me or not, she's not my friend and she's not the type of person I want to be around anyway.
It's my husband and I's anniversary tomorrow. Looks like it's gonna be a great one, since we aren't speaking to each other at all right now.
they both live with you and
they both live with you and contribute nothing to the budget?
Daddy can do her hair. he's got the time.
and next time, don't pay for it with your hard earned money. she wants it, she earns the money. you're already shouldering too big of a load.
Yes, let Daddy do it
It doesnt take much skill to do an amateur touch up, I (all thumbs) did it back in the day, anybody can do it. So, yes, let Daddy do it since he's not doing anything else.
Anniversary of what?
Sorry for the sarcasm, but it sounds like your husband is a jerk and raised his spawn to be a jerk too.
Perhaps lay down some boundaries and take yourself and a close friend out. Let them have each other.
Why is SD not working? Why is husband allowing this? Is she disabled?
Next time he picks on
Next time he picks on something, tell him he can start criticising when he starts paying his share AND his daughter's share of ALL the bills. If he says you're being petty, you're not, you just don't like moochers.
I sincerely hope they are taking care of all household chores, plus cooking, plus laundry, plus gardening, plus car maintenance, plus...
Something tells me they aren
Something tells me they aren't. OP is supporting 2 grown adults. Smh.
I'm pretty sure that's the
I'm pretty sure that's the case. I just wanted to be sure...
I was told by my husband that
I was told by my husband that I "never do anything for anyone else"
"I'm supporting the two of you, aren't I?"
Your husband has some nerve, especially since neither he, nor his daughter, contribute to the household.
SD needs to be given a move out deadline.
So.. what's the plan for your
So.. what's the plan for your DH? is he looking for a job? is he retired? Is he getting any unemployment? Is there a valid reason he is not working (health issues for example)?
Your DH has a lot of nerve to pop off like that at you while you are the only full time income for the home. I would likely tell him.. Oh.. I don't do anything.. well.. you are about to see what "not doing anything" entails.
That would include...
1. Not cooking or cleaning or buying food or anything for anyone other than yourself.. your DH.. his kid.. they can figure out how to feed themselves right? Take your roll of toilet paper with you when you leave the bathroom..
2. It goes without saying that nothing discretional will be purchased for any of them.. no hair dye.. no ritz crackers.. no beer.. no nada.
3. I would consider cutting off any phone plans you pay for.. including your DH's.. I would also consider changing the wifi password.. I mean.. you are the only one paying.. you are the only one using.
I might outline this plan to your DH .. ask if THAT is what he meant by not doing anything.. because you are prepared to go there..
I wouldn't outline the plan
I wouldn't outline the plan at all, I'd wait until he started whining about his living conditions. He needs to experience the pain to appreciate what he has
See, now this is exactly what
See, now this is exactly what I would do if it's been an ongoing thing with husband/SO complaining about my lack of participation or "help." In fact, sometimes I still have to remind him when HE complains about having to do one thing extra at times. Oh, really? So this would mean I can complain too?
OPs DH may need to have it spelled out to him.
I lost my job at the end of June.
I have made hundreds of applications since, had a number of interviews, and am expecting offers from two companies shortly.
Since June, I have cooked countless dozens of meals, done countless dozens of grocery shopping trips. Cleaned the kitchen, bathrooms, floors, dozens of times. And done dozens of loads of laundry.
DW is working and supporting our lives with her career, I am making our home.
In the year between his HS graduation and reporting for USAF BMT, SS-31 was our live in beck-&-call boy/chore bitch. He lived in the family home and he contributed. Since he was not employed, he was the housekeeper, laundry service, yard service, cook, and clean up service. His mom and I left for work in the AM, he started his daily labors.
Those who coddle kids, are doing those kids no favors and are creating future burdens on society.
Challenge accepted!!!
Challenge accepted!!!
Time to not do anything for anyone else in the house. Dinner for 1. Bills for 1. Outings for 1,(Although I'd not let bills lapse - I'd sure as hell present him and SD with a written tally of what they owe to the household. Stop carrying them.) Stop buying groceries other then your essentials,
Really. What do you expect
They are both using you. I am sure Walmart is looking for help. $15 a hour 40 hours. $600 x two $1200 a week they can be contributing to the household. $1200va week for a year is $ 64,000 a year. If you let them sit on there rear doing nothing that's better then working. I don't know how they can live with themselves but that's me