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Am I just being a c&^%?

SD from hell's picture

Hi; I think that I'm a normal 20yo, reacting the way a normal 20yo would in my situation. According to my SM and my DH im a total drama queen. I dont know what to think.
My dad went to jail when I was really little. Like 2 or 3. I hadnt ever met him until my mom sent me across the country to live with him when I turned 14. I am the only one of his three kids that has ever met him. It was a terrible time in my life.
He worked constantly, I would only ever see him for an hour or two at a time, every week or two. He makes lots of $ and thinks it solves all problems. Not seeing him was the best part of that time.
He was physically and mentally abusive the entire time i lived with him. I was not allowed to have friends, hang out outside and eventually he made me finish highschool online. when i was still allowed to go to public school, he paid friends of his to have me followed to and from classes. He hit on my friends and always told me i was getting chubby (I weigh 87lbs. and have been anorexic for ten years). Needless to say i didnt have many social skills at 18. Now i'm on disability for anxiety, depression and PTSD.
So; a week or so before my 18th birthday my dad decides to hire a maid. He asks a few people and hears about a friend of a friend who "really needs the money to pay off her mortgage". A few days later (three days before my birthday) i wake up to someone inside my house, screaming. I walk out of my bedroom into the living room and...BAM! The maids here! And she's fucking my dad on the living room sofa at 1030 on a tuesday morning. She had only been in my house for two and a half hours. Naturally i turned around and yelled "what the F---!" and walked out of the room. Five mins later i was being thrown out of the house for "cramping his style".
Turns out she used to be dad's buddy's favorite strippper and a recovering heroin addict. She is 28, bleach blond, fake boobs and so stupid it hurts. I wont say her exact name but it is one of the following; Cherry or Sugar. Apart from that; shes psycho. Smashing things, punching people, calling the cops.
We didnt speak for about six months and when we did i learned that she never did clean anything but shes still there. The only good thing is that my 43 year old dad has become nicer and less angry as time goes on.
My DH and i have been together for 4.5 years and we're planning on starting a family in the next couple years. All my family knows this.
Then out of nowhere guess what; the stripper is knocked up (even though my dad said a million times he didnt want more kids) and she's sooo happy with her self. I think this is the most retarded thing ive ever heard! well almost.... the most retarded came about a week ago.
I was sitting in their living room waiting for my dad who was having a screaming match with the pregnant ho. She comes out, sits on the couch and gets on her phone. "Yeah, I'm gonna be on my way home i guess. I cant believe I only made $800 sucking this guys --" I know im 20 but thats not ever appropriate to say in front of someones kid. They worked it out (yippie) but i just cant let that incident go.
I dont want anything to do with her or this kid. My dad is old and decrepit and has already asked me if i wanted to adopt this kid when he died. i said f- that. the worst part...she wants more kids! He's already 43! And what about me? How will I explain to MY kids why stripper granny is knocked up?
Am I being too harsh on them?

SD from hell's picture

I dont live there. I havent since he threw me out the day she got there.

I dont mean to say he's 43 like all 43 year olds are unable to keep up with kids.
This particular 43yo has smoked tobacco for 20yrs, done crack and heroin for many years and can hardly lift his groceries. he also has three other kids in their early 20s. He would be 61 by the time this one leaves the house and if there are more........

It WOULD be better for me to cut ties with my dad. I also worry that this kid is going to have to go through all the shit i did and if im not around to keep an eye out whos gonna call CPS?

Anne Boleyn's picture

It is sad that this child will have to grow up with these two assholes. But you can't let that be your cross to bear. It's sad but you can only protect yourself right now.

Anne Boleyn's picture

I would stay far, far away from that abusive man and his addict girlfriend. They are awful people. You need to move on. Sorry he's such an ass. Just get yourself out of that toxic scene and make a new life for yourself.

ybarra357's picture


2Tired4Drama's picture

Sorry, but I don't buy this story. For one thing, why would any mother or court allow a minor female child (14) to go cross-country and live with a father she had no relationship with and who has a long history of drug abuse?

Second, the OP is a self-proclaimed "SD from Hell" and it appears she is using this forum (which is for step parents) to somehow get validation of her opinion about her father's girlfriend.

sandye21's picture

It DOES sound a bit strange that a 14 year old child would be allowed to travel by herself across country yo live wiht a drug addict. Many things do not add up. The OP writes she was kicked out of her Father's home when she was 18, then writes she has been with her DH for 4.5 years but she's presently 20 years old. She mentioned numerous psychological problems including PTSD. Sounds like more going on with her than that.

overworkedmom's picture

That part honestly didn't make me blink. My older 1/2 sister went to live with our "Father" when she was 16- he had been in prison for 12 years for heroine. Her mother has split personalities and "didn't want her anymore". Thankfully I have never met the man (he went away when I was 6 months old and my step dad adopted me, so I was spared). The things my sister endured there for the year before she ran away would make you cry.

twopines's picture

Right? It's all just..just...I mean...from having paid friends follow her around, to the Sugar stripper not cleaning the house for 6 months, to...*sigh*

Really, she had me at hello.