Am I just being a c&^%?
Hi; I think that I'm a normal 20yo, reacting the way a normal 20yo would in my situation. According to my SM and my DH im a total drama queen. I dont know what to think.
My dad went to jail when I was really little. Like 2 or 3. I hadnt ever met him until my mom sent me across the country to live with him when I turned 14. I am the only one of his three kids that has ever met him. It was a terrible time in my life.
He worked constantly, I would only ever see him for an hour or two at a time, every week or two. He makes lots of $ and thinks it solves all problems. Not seeing him was the best part of that time.
He was physically and mentally abusive the entire time i lived with him. I was not allowed to have friends, hang out outside and eventually he made me finish highschool online. when i was still allowed to go to public school, he paid friends of his to have me followed to and from classes. He hit on my friends and always told me i was getting chubby (I weigh 87lbs. and have been anorexic for ten years). Needless to say i didnt have many social skills at 18. Now i'm on disability for anxiety, depression and PTSD.
So; a week or so before my 18th birthday my dad decides to hire a maid. He asks a few people and hears about a friend of a friend who "really needs the money to pay off her mortgage". A few days later (three days before my birthday) i wake up to someone inside my house, screaming. I walk out of my bedroom into the living room and...BAM! The maids here! And she's fucking my dad on the living room sofa at 1030 on a tuesday morning. She had only been in my house for two and a half hours. Naturally i turned around and yelled "what the F---!" and walked out of the room. Five mins later i was being thrown out of the house for "cramping his style".
Turns out she used to be dad's buddy's favorite strippper and a recovering heroin addict. She is 28, bleach blond, fake boobs and so stupid it hurts. I wont say her exact name but it is one of the following; Cherry or Sugar. Apart from that; shes psycho. Smashing things, punching people, calling the cops.
We didnt speak for about six months and when we did i learned that she never did clean anything but shes still there. The only good thing is that my 43 year old dad has become nicer and less angry as time goes on.
My DH and i have been together for 4.5 years and we're planning on starting a family in the next couple years. All my family knows this.
Then out of nowhere guess what; the stripper is knocked up (even though my dad said a million times he didnt want more kids) and she's sooo happy with her self. I think this is the most retarded thing ive ever heard! well almost.... the most retarded came about a week ago.
I was sitting in their living room waiting for my dad who was having a screaming match with the pregnant ho. She comes out, sits on the couch and gets on her phone. "Yeah, I'm gonna be on my way home i guess. I cant believe I only made $800 sucking this guys --" I know im 20 but thats not ever appropriate to say in front of someones kid. They worked it out (yippie) but i just cant let that incident go.
I dont want anything to do with her or this kid. My dad is old and decrepit and has already asked me if i wanted to adopt this kid when he died. i said f- that. the worst part...she wants more kids! He's already 43! And what about me? How will I explain to MY kids why stripper granny is knocked up?
Am I being too harsh on them?